Alternative Daily Mail

What you wont see reported in The Daily Mail.

A Northern family claim no benefits and have prosperous jobs.

A Muslim preacher teaches tolerance for all faiths.

Football manager will be given time to build a team and rightly so.

Thousands of people come away happy with NHS treatment.

Tracksuit wearing Chav opens door for elderly lady.

Immigrant worker with no criminal record works hard and doesn't claim benefits.

Gay couple raise a child to be a perfectly happy, sane and valuable member of society.

Constantly reporting on someones weight causes eating disorders in some women.

Some drugs are okay for recreational use as long as in moderation, and Russel Brand has actually achieved a lot in his career.

The weather will be moderate and there will be no immediate need to build an Ark.

Use of telephoto lenses is rife in seemingly respectable news organizations.

Royal family are entitled to a private life, and we will not be showing any pictures of their holiday. Instead we will have a 14 page spread on tolerance and how to combat xenophobia.

Selfies of Kim Kardashian's butt are not news, but we will take a look at ourselves and our reporting.