Monday, November 20, 2006

Joe Blogs View On The World #2

The British Army is doing its bit for animal conservation. There were 171 white rhinos in the world. British troops have shot one that was charging at them in Kenya. Army recruits Prince William and Harry are more likely to be found in strip joint, Spearmint Rhino. They hate the 1st April, because of the 31 day March.

I brought some fair trade peanuts, does that mean the people who harvested the nuts are paid peanuts?

Tom Cruise has married Katie Holmes in an Italian castle. Wonder if he had to scale the building to enter her bedroom, like Dawson in Dawson's Creek. Perhaps in the vows, Katie asked for just one more Cornetto. Instead she actually asked for a cat. Tom was possibly heard to say to his best man, "Shooooow meeeeee the riiiinnnnggg!". Perhaps Tom wooed Katie by saying "I loved you at hello, I mean that spread you did, in Hello magazine, that is". David Beckham was banned from going to his mates wedding because he had to rehabilitate his knee at Real Madrid, while everyone including Posh Spice was having a knees up. A metro sexual and scientologists would have been a strange mix. With all the TV aerials there, it must have been a good reception.

SUV's or 4x4 cars as they are known, are going to face a probable £25 congestion charge in London. For that amount of money, I'd want a trip through the Serengeti, or a monkey enclosure at the very least.

Brazil is already ahead of the rest of the world, they use sugar cane to power their vehicles. Actually to be fair Ive tried renewable energy on the game Sim City and it just isn't cost efficient! And the Sims just don't want to be looking at wind machines outside their windows, or pay higher taxes. I wonder if George Bush played the game he'd go straight to disaster mode. I wonder if politicians ever get together and play Monopoly, probably, Tony is the poodle, Gordon Brown is the Banker, John Prescott gets the car, but hes not happy because he wants 2 Jags. Nelson Mandela has to wait ages before he gets his get out of jail free card. And then Robert Mugabe comes along and ruins the game by stealing all their houses.

Smoking is to be banned in public places. Though at least I'll still be able to enjoy taking my 2 legged dog out for a walk. He's called cigarette, because I take him out for a drag.

Tony Blair has finally admitted Iraq is a disaster. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Blair might say Titanic wasn't a disaster, because they forget to mention the thousands of miles of pleasurable cruising.