Thursday, November 30, 2006

Joe Blog's Hollywood Round Up #1

A new Beverly Hills Cop IV is in development, with Eddie Murphy to star again. And Die Hard 4, Die Harder is also in the pipeline with Bruce Willis. Sylvester Stallone also is starring in a new Rocky film, wonder if this will be his final countdown. Maybe they should just make one film and combine all the ideas, Die Beverly, In Rocky Hills

Eddie Murphy say's his love interest Scary Spice, Mel B is pregnant but it is not certain it is his kid. He want's a DNA test first. He won't know for another 48 hours, and he might then prefer to be trading places, otherwise it will be daddy day care for life.

Michael Richards made racist comments in a Los Angeles comedy club. Dustin Hoffman would still like to make a sequel to the movie Kramer Versus Kramer with him, though the film might have a different twist now. Mel Gibson is apparantly also on board to play a Rabbi.

Apparantly Al Pacino is a method actor and likes to get a feel for the role he is playing. Al Pacino is playing a divorcee, he is going to alternate living with the Paul McCartney and then Britney Spears, just so he can hear her say, 'divorce me baby, one more time.'

Britney has been seen out on the town, partying it up with Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan. Nicknamed by the press, the Brit Pack. Wonder if the Golden Girls did a similar thing at their age. If only Paris had known about courting before she did that video.

Danny DeVito appeared drunk on a USA chat show, after a night out on the town with George Clooney. Maybe he was drinking shorts, probably doesn't take much for him. He could end up in ER if hes not careful.

Anyone see the latest Bond film, all very good, though it did come across as a commercial for the Ford motor company. Go see the film, it comes with a free beverage cup holder, reclining seat, and optional sick bags. Though hopefully neither the film or car will have any intermission.

Random Quote

"I have always hated that damn James Bond. I'd like to kill him."
Sean Connery

A Perfectly Good Random Quote Ruined By Analysis
Surely Sir Sean should be more respectful of the character that has bought him fame and credibility. Were it not for that role Sean could still be a milkman. Serving pints, and offering your money or your loaf. I hear the roles have dried up a bit for Sir Sean, his agent called him and said youve got a part, tomorrow around 10. Sean said 'tennish, I don't even own a racquet!'.

Random Facts.

It is estimated that at any one time, 0.7% of the world's population is drunk.

Surely, this is more of a guesstimate than an estimate. Explains all the people Ive met who slur their words, stumble, go red faced, and thats just in church.

In New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans every year.

I know this city is called the big apple but seriously. Taking bites out of each other, inviting friends for dinner, thats not on! I invited a friend for dinner, she was late so I gave her the cold shoulder. Thinking about it maybe these 2 random facts are linked somehow!

Mr Joe Blog's Blog Review Service #4

Have your blog, or website, reviewed by me. Just let me know your site address, and a little bit about the content. A Joe Blog's Review will be a detailed look at your site, looking at overall quality, inventiveness, writing quality, design and style, and fan base. Each reviewed site will get a review and link back published here.

It'd be great if you can link back to me in return.

Email me(in my profile), or leave a comment below :)

Mr Joe Blog’s Blog Review Service #4
Title : Miss Cellania, What… You Think This Is Funny?
Genre : Humour Blog
Owner : Miss Cellania

Summary Of Content
Miss Cellania is a single mum, and currently unemployed radio announcer, who resides in Kentucky. She is an unemployed radio star widow with two twice-orphaned daughters. She loves dogs and cats, is a fan of Monty Python, and appears to be a Trekky and Star Wars fan judging by the posts, and a serious gardener. She states her favorite subject is men. At the time of writing she says she has been single for 20 months, a record in her adult lifetime. Doesn’t quite beat mine! She says ‘I don't mean a record for being dateless (which it is), or a record for not having a significant other or boyfriend (which it is), I'm saying its a record length of time for me being unmarried’, ‘Still, I would prefer Mr. Right to Mr. Right Now.’

She says ‘After spending more than half my life playing music on the radio, plus ten years married to another disc jockey followed by ten years married to a professional musician, you could say I know a little about music. Once I took a test and found I have an excellent “ear” for music. That means I can hear exactly how badly I sing!’

Interestingly she says her mother is ‘the woman who is my hero more than any other person. She came from a family that was so poor they didn’t even brag about it like so many do. Now, at an age where there are 50 women to every man, SHE has a steady boyfriend. I only wish I could be half the woman she is.’ She also talks fondly of her dad, ‘My Dad had a surefire way to avoid mowing the lawn, fishing.’

Her blog has links to funny websites, videos and cartoons, games, quizzes and products. She says she tries to keep the personal rambling short, and devotes her blog to fun stuff that we may enjoy. She often runs with a topic with her own introduction. Although a lot of her site is content from other bloggers and links, she does write some humourous content herself.

On the subject of her moving home she says shes a hillbilly, the horizon gives her headaches. And she say ‘Now I have my first cell phone. Its a Swiss Army cellphone, with camera, video camera, games, clock, alarm clock, radio, notepad, recorder, address book, internet capability, text messaging, the works...’ And she says ‘I belong to a Yahoo group where one of the possible reasons for inclusion is a history of mutilating Barbies. And we still do it as adults, although we grownups do it by making jokes or taking pictures of Barbie in compromising positions, so to speak.’ Now to me that is funny!

She looks at office terminology for example :
Cube Farm : An office filled with cubicles, Prairie Dogging : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

The content she lists is often funny and intriguing, and she says she often collect links for over a year.. She singles out, too many to mention, great jokes, which she does credit people for, including on the subject of oil, ‘We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in Alaska, California, Oklahoma, and Texas., our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC!(ken).’

She also makes serious points about parenting, and on her trip to Washington states ‘Jesus said the poor will always be with us, but why can’t we do something concrete to help so many people two blocks from the White House?’ Also a nice touch are her thoughts for the day, a couple of the best ones I saw were :

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

Design : Nice plain white design. Usual profile, and picture. Also some comedy glasses and nose design. Easy to navigate.

Conclusion : It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is!

Site Address :

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mr Joe Blog's Blog Review Service #3

Have your blog, or website, reviewed by me. Just let me know your site address, and a little bit about the content. A Joe Blog's Review will be a detailed look at your site, looking at overall quality, inventiveness, writing quality, design and style, and fan base. Each reviewed site will get a review and link back published here.

It'd be great if you can link back to me in return.
Email me(in my profile), or leave a comment below :)

Mr Joe Blog’s Blog Review Service #3
Title : Worth-It-All
Genre : Personal Diary Blog
Owner : Luckysnap

Summary Of Content
Luckysnap is an American lady from the USA. A recovering infertility patient, the mother to a daughter named Ella, the wife of soul mate Keith, and has a golden retriever pup named Lulu. She wasn’t sure about getting a retriever at first, maybe she thought blondes aren’t intelligent!

Also describes herself as a fairly new, stay at home mum and says its harder than she expected it to be, but 10 times more rewarding. She says the decision to stop work after 5 years was one of her hardest decisions. Used to work as an accountant in a hotel and a computer consultancy firm which she enjoyed.

Her experience of fertility treatment was tough going, with all the procedures and surgeries, and is detailed on her blog. Worth-It-All, is a great title for her blog considering she was able to conceive in the end, and now has a beautiful daughter who makes her smile, and she writes down all those things every day

She describes the terrible experience of being robbed at work, and being hog tied, and how her life flashed before her.

Her posts are open and honest, she says “If you really knew me, you'd know.....That I have as many insecurities as the next person, even though it may not appear that way......That I am a much deeper person than you may see on the outside.....And that I struggle just to make it through the day.”

Likes watching Oprah, and reading books, Dalai Lama, Sufism, self help and inspirational books. You can see the influence from that on her posts on ‘pay it forward’, and her quotes of the day are a nice addition and usually well chosen.

She enjoys James Blunt, Joss Stone, Norah Jones, and 80’s music. Has a sideline in taking and selling high quality photos, usually of flowers from what I can see.

Design : Black background, it’s good because her photos stand out better that way. Usual archive and profile.

Conclusion : A blog with a good heart, gives hope to those struggling to conceive. The pictures she takes are high definition, nice in other words. It has nice insightful thoughts and quotations. Only started blog in early November, keep it up and it should be worth it all.

Site Address :

Monday, November 27, 2006

Mr Joe Blog's Blog Review Service #2

Have your blog, or website, reviewed by me. Just let me know your site address, and a little bit about the content. A Joe Blog's Review will be a detailed look at your site, looking at overall quality, inventiveness, writing quality, design and style, and fan base. Each reviewed site will get a review and link back published here.

It'd be great if you can link back to me in return.
Email me(in my profile), or leave a comment below :)

Joe Blog's Blog Review #2
Title : Ride It Like You Stole It
Genre : Personal Diary
Owner : Dave Dragon

Summary Of Content
I have trawled this blog, and I have to say it is sooo rich in content. This is a blog by a 48 year old white male raised in the Southeastern United States, he served a tour in the Army and has worked in the IT field since the early 80's. He is an active member of the Iron Butt Association (#24787), this makes sense when you consider he spends long hours in the saddle blasting around the USA on one of his BMW motorcycles.

A superb motorcycle touring blog in part. Detailing adventures across the states, with added pictures. Travelled on the oldest road in the USA, running 2000 miles from Mexico City to Taos, established 1598. Travelled far and wide across the states. Also looks at family history and USA history. I was never aware of the bike ride, ‘The Trail Of Tears' to acknowledge the suffering of those 17,000 Cherokee Indians forcibly removed from their homes, by General Winfield Scott during 1830. There is so much material, on his biking adventures, it will keep you reading and imagining how great it would be to tour the states. Photos are taken on a 10.1 mega pixel camera!
The blog itself is full of real life experience and humour, for example his article on Christians that knock at your door, "I had been preparing some ribs for the smoker one morning and had blood from the meat on my hands when the Card-Carrying Christians again came knocking on my door. I opened the door with my hands still wet with the blood and simply stated "I'm in the middle of a Sacrifice at the moment, please come back in an hour and be prepared to talk!"
I don't know about you but I found the blog to be very funny material in part.

I don't know any bikers, but there are less surely that quote Shakespeare! Ever heard a biker say this, "I find this 400 year old soliloquy and its self-questioning dialog as pertinent now as ever, especially in the context of Bipolarism and the self-destructive nature of the disorder." Talks of his own personal hardships, so it could be said this blog is warts and all. Interesting he says, "I've been through water-boarding a couple of times; in training and in the field as well as low voltage electrocution, and I would whole-Heartedly prefer those to the long term effects of Bipolar disorder and PTSD." Wow, is all I can say.

Both of his bikes are setup as he says, "for long distance riding and performance. This means both have enhanced suspension and handling mods as well as communications and navigational mods.” From the pictures I can see, it is like the Knightrider of bikes, looks like Darth Vader’s bathroom!

Has views on commuting car drivers, "I feel sorry for these poor slobs in their cages droning out the drive every morning and evening, insulated from the world outside by glass and steel, substituting the wind in their faces for refrigerated & recirculated air, chained to the damn cell phones affixed to their heads." I Couldn’t have put it better myself! For him he says the 70 mile commute on his bike is mental maintenance, and he say's he'd be a basket case if he couldn't ride for 6 months of the year. He sums up his love for biking really, by saying, "riding year round, equates to living year round!"

Talks of his friendship, and importance of family. One memorable anecdote from his friend James "As she walked toward us I stated the obvious "Wow, she is hot!", to which James exclaimed "She may be beautiful now, but if you married her she'd swell up like a dead cat in a creek"!

A bit like the presenter Michael Palin, except driving his bike, and not being followed by a BBC camera crew.

So he loves biking, has plenty of useful tips and helpful hints on riding. Also talks of the perils of driving, when bikes are covered with LBR (Love Bug Residue), and the threat to riders of tar snakes!

This is not exclusively a riders blog, he covers topics, such as tax, the UN, Iraq etc. Also has an asshat of the week feature. There are also curious articles on his dreams.

Design : Decent. Colourful blog add ons. Cool puns, such as, 'theres no such thing as bad riding weather, just bad riding gear.'

Conclusion : Really a very worthwhile read. In part gripping reading, no pun intended. Great reading material, and pictures, and with funny anecdotes.

Site Address :

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Mr Joe Blog's Blog Review Service #1

Have your blog, or website, reviewed by me. Just let me know your site address, and a little bit about the content. A Joe Blog's Review will be a detailed look at your site, looking at overall quality, inventiveness, writing quality, design and style, and fan base. Each reviewed site will get a review and link back published here.


It'd be great if you can link back to me in return.
Email me(in my profile), or leave a comment below :)

Joe Blog's Blog Review #1
Title : The Lost Legionary
Genre : This is a personal diary blog of sorts.
Owner : Aurelius

Summary Of Content
He uses a pseudonym so his name, and identity is made up. Even his cartoon has sunglasses, and profile gives no information apart from email. Says hes from Jerusalem. A self proclaimed Jedi. Also apparently a philosopher, and keen writer.

He has personal insights. Has managed bands, including SoulZu, Clifford, and, Trouser, Trouser, also goes to watch gigs.

Moved in with flatmate Jim who has a good dvd collection, presumably rent costs more because of that. He would like to write a book about his father Decimus. Though not mentioned I presume, Aurelius is a fan of the film Gladiator.

Liked the Office but thought it was one dimensional. Highly recommends the movies Children Of Men and Walk The Line. Also likes Brit TV comedy, Little Britain.

Likes politics, hasn’t been inactive in politics for more than 5 months in the last year. Yet he won’t talk politics on his blog, only because it would take to long to sum up all the dumb politicians.

He has gone through fases of reading hundreds of blogs. Reads Scott Adams blog, every day, that’s the guy who does the Dilbert comics. Aurelius states "About six months ago, he incited his readership by putting, mentioning a theory that free will does not exist. He argued that people decide things based on emotional reasoning, and then come up with the "reasons" to justify their emotional decision to themselves and to others."

Aurelius does talk about depression and the inner workings of his mind, which is cool.

Design : Modern, black background, usual blog roll and a good use of pictures in posts. Some humorous pictures. Easy to navigate the site.

Conclusion : So all in all a good personal blog, regularly updated. Talks about lifes foibles and has humorous content. Philosophises, which does stir up debate. Blog is very specific to his life. A little bit vague in terms of what he actually does for a living. None the less, a perfectly good read.
Site Address :

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Do A Random Act Of Kindness

Pay It Forward

Do a random act of kindness, and inspire others to do the same.

Or tell us about a good deed you have experienced recently. Whether it be, helping out a friend in need, giving someone your time, help, advice, a donation to charity,or whatever. "Pay it forward", as the saying goes, and I'll publish what the good deed was on my blog. Be anonymous if you want.

Let's inspire others to do random acts of kindness.

Good deed #1 Joe Blogs
I have donated £5 to the charity, Save The Children, to start the ball rolling.
Apparently that money could provide a mosquito net to prevent children in Thailand from contracting dengue, but the money will go wherever the need is greatest in the world.

Good deed #2 Lucky Snap
LuckySnap's random act of kindness for the day: I was playing with my daughter at a local mall when I over heard a woman tell her daughter that she forgot her wallet today so she did not have any money for her daughter to play on the rides. So I dug 75 cents out of my wallet and gave it to her so that her daughter could play. It was only 75 cents, but the little girl had fun and it put a smile on my face.
Thanks for writing this post Joe!

Good deed #3 Lewis at Spirit Of Saint Lewis
My partner and I were in a Shari's Restaurant (just a family place) having dinner when I was reminded that my own dad used too, occasionally, pay for somebody's bill in the restaurant. So I thought we'd try it. There was a table of people behind us, we couldn't see them at all, just hear them. And I just felt like it was time to try it out. So, I said the the young, brand-new waitress: May I please have the bill of the next table. She didn't get it at all and initially told me "no," I couldn't pay their bill. She finally got it figured out and gave it to me. Now, I asked her to not say a word....completely mum on the deal.....But before we could leave, the next table was looking/waiting for their bill and asked her where it was. She just said it right out to them: "The guys at the next table have it and are going to pay it." Oh my god, I couldn't believe it! So, I hear the lady say "Well, let's just go over there and see who they are." They all three came over, questioning looks on their faces, and eyeballing the two of us gay dudes trying to pay their bill. Then, they break out in big smiles and laughter. And THEN they start saying "It's nothing but Jesus, it's nothing but the Lord....oh, praise Jesus......oh, praise's just nothing but the Lord!!!" So now, the whole restaurant is in on it....and they are staring and looking....and trying not to. So, they left happy. We left (slightly) embarrassed (and I rarely/never??? get embarrassed). But it was the right thing to do. We've tried it again, with a little more success on keeping it quiet.

Good deed #4 Heidi, from Oregon
I'm in a moms group for women who were planning to have babies in July 1999 -- some babies came earlier, some later, and a core group has continued to correspond through the second and even third babies to follow. Two months ago one of our members was preparing to welcome her sixth child when she received the news that her husband had had a terrible accident in his semi, not his fault but he ended up losing his job over it. We don't know the family's entire financial situation but she has worried to us about losing her house. Our group has adopted the woman's family for Christmas, and we're planning to send her a gift card to use however she wants, as well as individual presents for the children.

Good Deed #5 Tony
"I will be so glad when school is over and I am back working. So much of my life has changed including the way I look at and handle the holidays. I use to always find a couple of children or families to donate Christmas presents to , etc. but that 'spirit' has gone over the past three years or so of school. I do need to find a way to get back into it. And I realize the acts can be as simple as a hello to someone I might rarely if ever say hello to. Thanks for posting this."

Good Deed #6 Graalguy
I frequently go to this fast food shop to have coffee. As I enter, I overhear three preteen boys counting their money. One boy has nothing to "put into the pot," so they are short and don't quite know what to do. These kids are not from homes where there is money. They would not be in my neighbourhood if they were well-off.They won't eat unless they all eat. They don't even notice as I drop a $5 on the floor behind them. As I pass, I tell them that they dropped some money on the floor and they should be more careful with their money. They get very quiet and then rush to eat. I go sit with my friend Joann and have coffee. She asks me why I'm smiling. I don't tell her that I'm smiling to keep from crying.

Good Deed #7 Shaney
A great idea!!Kindness has always been apart of who I am, & in the past I have always done level best to help others without expectation, it is a wonderful feeling when you see the expressions on the faces of those you have willingly aided without having been asked.
Hope the word spread, Joe!!

Good Deed #8 David Dragon
"I'm all for a little magic or mysticism with my Motorcycling so here's a little for your enjoyment and edification. The Guardian Bell Legend goes that a small bell attached to your motorcycle, close to the ground, catches the Evil Road Spirits. The little Gremlins that find your motorcycle try to cause all kinds of problems for you. The cavity of the bell attracts these Evil Spirits and the constant ringing drives them insane and they lose their grip and fall to the ground creating pot holes wherever they land. The legend further goes that one should not purchase a Guardian Bell for ones own Motorcycle as this renders the Bell ineffective. Instead, you should give a Guardian Bell to your biker buddy to protect them. It's a kind of Karmic "Pay it Forward" thing. Ting, Ting, Laters"

Random Acts Of Kindness, On Joe Blog's Blog! :)
Email me(in profile section), or leave a comment.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Joe Blogs View On The World #2

The British Army is doing its bit for animal conservation. There were 171 white rhinos in the world. British troops have shot one that was charging at them in Kenya. Army recruits Prince William and Harry are more likely to be found in strip joint, Spearmint Rhino. They hate the 1st April, because of the 31 day March.

I brought some fair trade peanuts, does that mean the people who harvested the nuts are paid peanuts?

Tom Cruise has married Katie Holmes in an Italian castle. Wonder if he had to scale the building to enter her bedroom, like Dawson in Dawson's Creek. Perhaps in the vows, Katie asked for just one more Cornetto. Instead she actually asked for a cat. Tom was possibly heard to say to his best man, "Shooooow meeeeee the riiiinnnnggg!". Perhaps Tom wooed Katie by saying "I loved you at hello, I mean that spread you did, in Hello magazine, that is". David Beckham was banned from going to his mates wedding because he had to rehabilitate his knee at Real Madrid, while everyone including Posh Spice was having a knees up. A metro sexual and scientologists would have been a strange mix. With all the TV aerials there, it must have been a good reception.

SUV's or 4x4 cars as they are known, are going to face a probable £25 congestion charge in London. For that amount of money, I'd want a trip through the Serengeti, or a monkey enclosure at the very least.

Brazil is already ahead of the rest of the world, they use sugar cane to power their vehicles. Actually to be fair Ive tried renewable energy on the game Sim City and it just isn't cost efficient! And the Sims just don't want to be looking at wind machines outside their windows, or pay higher taxes. I wonder if George Bush played the game he'd go straight to disaster mode. I wonder if politicians ever get together and play Monopoly, probably, Tony is the poodle, Gordon Brown is the Banker, John Prescott gets the car, but hes not happy because he wants 2 Jags. Nelson Mandela has to wait ages before he gets his get out of jail free card. And then Robert Mugabe comes along and ruins the game by stealing all their houses.

Smoking is to be banned in public places. Though at least I'll still be able to enjoy taking my 2 legged dog out for a walk. He's called cigarette, because I take him out for a drag.

Tony Blair has finally admitted Iraq is a disaster. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Blair might say Titanic wasn't a disaster, because they forget to mention the thousands of miles of pleasurable cruising.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Joe Blogs View On Politics #1

Its me, the legendary President Of The United States, Joe Blogs! While not doing my blog, I make time to run the most powerful country on Earth.

Politicians are not popular people, yet they make a living out of popularity contests.

They dress smart. Do they think smart?

Some people get sex from aids. Politicians get sex from aides.

They do keep you up to date with their current affairs.

Politicians are a bit like Jedis. Jedi Blair can feel the force. He and Bush are both signed up to the Star Wars nucleur defense system. Politicians are often caught pictured in just their robes, and lured into the dark side. I wonder if when Blair leaves he will say, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to."

Check out a fellow blogger, who writes a humour, comedy blog, where the Jedi Picture originates from, He assures me his back problems, are behind him.

Here's a Margaret Thatcher quote "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." Sounds like she's shooting her mouth off again!

And allow me a Robin Williams quote from his new film, Man Of The Year, "politicians are like diapers, they need changing often, and for the same reason."

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Greatest Story Ever Told By You! #1

I'm starting a story today, and you're going to continue it! If everyone adds a line at least, to the story, it will be fun to see how the story progresses. So don't be a square, read on, and add your bit!

The Greatest Story Ever Told By You!

In the shanty towns of India, a boy was born. His parents were delighted there were no complications. The father, a man of little means, only a shoe polishing enterprise to support him, and his new family. The mother, a woman who was mean, and only married her husband because he said he would buy her some lace.....To be continued by you!

#1 Reply : Gerardo Continues...
What they didn't realise, however, is how much happiness their little bundle of joy would bring to them, if not indeed the world!

#2 Reply : BluePanther Continues...
They named the son Sagar, the Ocean. And Sagar was true to his name since his childhood. He was a silent kid, smart but never saying anything that was not necessary. He never gave his parents any kind of trouble.When kids his age were always asking their parents for something or the other, he was always there with his father at the last, assisting him in every little way he could.

#3 Reply : Otilius Continues...
The discovery of his third hand caught them off guard. They had only the day before noticed his sensitivity to chocolate.

#4 Reply : Paula Continues...
That was until there was sports day at school. Sagar had tried out for the cricket team and had made it. The school was poor though and so told Sagar he could join if he could provide his own equipment.He knew that his family could never afford the price for even second hand bits so went around the neighbourhood looking for odd jobs he could do for penny's.

#5 Reply : Dean Continues...
Sagar wanted really badly to play on the cricket team. He knew he needed to make some money for the equipment. So being a smart boy and realizing his third hand would come in handy... He want to the local circus to see if they could use him in exchange for the talents of his third hand....

#6 Reply : Zeljko Continues...
Suddenly, the scene changes completely. We can see a tiny strap of land and a hint of a vast water surface, presumably an ocean. The camera moves towards a spot at the very edge of the coast, and a figure of a boy slowly emerges. At first, it is impossible to see anything clearly: he appears to be holding something in his lap, a book maybe, but he seems to be watching the infinity before him, as though he has paused to think about something he read. The camera slowly approaches quite near, zooms in across the boy's right shoulder, and we can discern the first few words in the book: "In the shanty towns of India, a boy was born..."

#7 Reply : (NOONEWHOCARE'ABOUTME) Continues...
When the little circus hired him, he was very surprised. His third hand came in handy for wacking Bush. And then, he landed on an elephant and blew up his eye. He lived only to see his parents killing each other.

#8 Reply : The Watchlist Continues...
Because his parents had murdered each other by poisoning food that Sagar had brought home to them from the circus, poor Sagar could no longer bear to hear the sounds of circus. He was forced to leave the circus and embark on a career as an insurance claims adjuster.Little did his coworkers know, Sagar also lived a double life. Each night when he left work, he dedicated at least 2 hours and 45 minutes to fighting the spread of black mold. To protect his identity, and health, he wore a mask and black mold fighting alter ego's name was...

#9 Reply : Jess Continues...
...Zorro. He was busy saving a beautiful young lady from the evils of black mold one night and became great friends with her. One day she confessed to him that she was in love with a friend from childhood.... Sagar.

#10 Reply : Mr Joe Blogs Continues...
He also goes by the name of...

#11 Reply : Steve Kenul Continues...
The Mold Terror. His night time job was working for an underground pro wrestling ring that was set up by the local mob in which many people feared. Sagar was a new wrestler, and a weak one at that. His fight for mold was devastating to his health and no matter how hard he worked out, his 5'6 132lbs frame could not get bigger. So instead of the weight room, he fled to Thailand to learn Mui Thai kick boxing and excelled dramatically. After two years learning the craft, he went back to India, back to the wrestling ring...

#12 Reply : The Watchlist Continues...
only to find out that it had been sold and turned into an ice cream shop. Sagar, who was at this point depressed and low on cash after leaving his insurance claims adjuster job years ago to practice martial arts, decided to apply for a job at the ice cream shop.The third hand he had gave him a great advantage over the other job seekers and after a 2nd interview he was informed that he had gotten the job. He grew to love the job to the point where it became an obsession. Sagar even lost sight of his fight against black mold. That was until nearly 11 years later when the ice cream shop got in a new flavor... "Superman"Upon seeing the Superman ice cream Sagar began weeping. It reminded him of his days when he wore a mask to fight the evils of black mold. The realization that he had squandered years of his life dishing out ice cream instead of fighting the spread of black mold was too much for him to bear so he...

#13 Reply : Anonymous Continues...
decided to go to his friend's house to seek some advice and little did he know that someone set cameras up to spy on them accidentally caught them doing this...

#14 Reply : M Continues...
...but the video was underexposed so Sagar's friend convinced him to go back to the ice cream shop, where they had just received shipment of a new licorice-flavored ice cream and told Sagar he could name it. As The Mold Terror stared at the black ice cream and wondered at this coincidence, he heard the bell over the door tinkle. Looking up, he saw...

#15 Reply : Trollop23 Continues...
his arch nemesis The Truffle!The Mold Terror was astounded as he thought The Truffle had perished just outside of a small village in France during a battle with Le Cochon.

Add your part of the story below, in the comments.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Joe Blog's Guide To America #2

President Bush is possibly a dyslexic, atheist, agnostic, he lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Donald Rumsfeld has resigned as US Secretary Of Defense after the election result. He maybe has mural dyslexia, he couldn't see the writing on the wall. He was a Neo-Conservative. Maybe there's a part for him in The Matrix 4, as Neo. Or he could go and sell neopolitan ice creams. Or work for Domineo Pizza, your pizzas within 45 minutes, or a free Iraq. Maybe he could work as a Hawk Eye at Wimbledon Tennis Championships, watching the lines. Love does mean nothing to him as well I'd assume.

Arnold Szwarzenegger has been re-elected as Governor Of California, lets hope the voters don't get a raw deal. Imagine being on a conference call with Arnie, 'there will be no compromise', you can imagine him with a machine gun in hand. If Arnie can become Governor, then maybe David Beckham could become Prime Minister. His policies would be on the far right, Beckham does speak a little Spanish now, so does that make him bilingual illiterate?

The death penalty is legal in some states. Reminds me of a a story I heard about a ticket inspector on the buses. He let people on the bus too late, and they fell off the bus and died. He was put in the electric chair, but he wouldn't die, because he was a bad conductor.

Tom Cruise, real surname, Mapother, has ancestry that goes back to Wales, a recent report states. Cruise's great-great grandfather, Dylan Henry Mapother, emigrated from Wales to Louisville Kentucky in 1850 when he was 16. So the worlds biggest movie star is part Welshman. Explains the teeth he used to have.

Canada is a rooftop over a great party. The USA.

American hip hop group, G-Unit, had problems getting on a bus the other day, because they didn't have 50 cent.

People drive sports utility vehicles, when their knees buckle, but their seat belt won't. Kids can drive from 15. As Borat might say, that's like giving a monkey, a gun.

Americans wear sleeveless shirts, because they have the right to bear arms.

Well that wraps up part 2, of my guide to America, I'm off to play cricket.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Joe Blogs Guide To America #1

There are 51 states, the 51st being the movie featuring Samuel L. Jackson, and Robert Carlyle.

The President is George W. Bush. The USA is still a bit like the old west, Bush wants Bin Laden, Dead or Alive. I believe Clint Eastwood is on his trail for a fistful of dollars.

Celebrities are treated like British royalty. Brad Pitt and Anjolina Jolie are practically King and Queen. Well they do fly Monarch Airlines at least. The family are the Pitts though. And then you have Prince...

Most of Americas clothes are dirty. They are X rated. XXXL that is.

The cops love donuts. The teenagers love doing donuts in cop cars.

The Baseball World Series is held only in America, with American teams.

US TV series are shown all around the world. So if this is an indication of the culture, it consists of, Friends, Desperate Housewives, Wife Swap, American Idols, and Sex In The City, and that's just on a Thursday night.

That concludes part 1, and for impartiality, Nate Smith, who is living the American Dream, will be replying to my ongoing guide to America.

Archetypal American and Comedian Nate Smith(pictured). Read his replies to my ongoing guide to America.

Click here to read Nates response :

Im blogging off, to have a nice cup of tea, and read Shakespeare.
Have a nice day!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Random Facts #5

The Atlantic Forest in Brazil, has one of the largest concentrations of endangered species.
Unfortunately, only 2% of the forest remains compared to 85% of the Amazon rainforest.
Unfortunately most people are more concerned with wireless hotspots than, biodiversity hotspots.

Snails can sleep for 3 years.
Ok, I'm not a vet but I thought they would at least need to eat. Maybe they're shells are like nucleur bunkers, able to survive there with enough supplies. And if they need a new home, they can always go to the petrol station, Shell, that is.

In China they celebrate birthdays every 10 years after the first.
I guess it means more money to spend on yourself during the year. I Imagine most of the people at your 21st will not be at your 31st birthday. I guess you can't really complain if someone forgets your birthday. I'm so unlucky, my twin forgot my birthday. I wonder if the parties kick ass, because they are so infrequent. I wonder if people still say, "haven't you grown", or do they say, "haven't you aged". Or, "sorry, I didn't get round to thanking you for that present".

The band Genesis are reforming.
Jesus he knows me, and he know's I'm right. I'm in a land of confusion, I can't dance, but I do have an invisible touch, so it's not so bad. Peter Gabriel has decided not to join up with them, but if they do need a roady, he has a good sledgehammer.

Pictured, at their first concert, rumours they have renamed themselves Old Testament cannot be confirmed.
They haven't aged a bit! A picture from humour, politics blog

Random Record Breakers

A new report says British teenagers are too fat to join the army, well I have included some inspirational stories for them.

Heard of American marathon runner Sam Thompson? He has run 50 marathons, in 50 states, in 50 consecutive days! Thats 26.2 miles every day! His girlfriend is a dietician, so he had the right calorie intake, and his times actually got better as he did more marathons. Makes Josh Hartnetts efforts in the film 40 Days and 40 Nights seem a little feeble, and Dustin Hoffmans torture in the dentist chair in Marathon Man, a small inconvenience.

Heinz Stucke is another incredible man, originally from Germany, he has cycled around the world since August 1960, aged 20. He spends 2-6 months in each country, so that he feels he can give a good account of it. His home is on the road. He has cycled 335,000 miles, and has visited over 160 countries.
Throughout his travels, he has been hit by a truck in Chile's Atacama Desert, been beaten unconscious by Egyptian soldiers, and chased by an angry Hiatian mob. And if thats not enough there is more. He has been detained by Cameroon's military for “slandering the state.”, attacked by bees while bathing in a river in Mozambique, had a serious bout of dysentery in Indonesia in, oh and was shot in the foot by Zimbabwean rebels. Then he visits the UK and has his bicycle stolen. He's Probably had the odd puncture too!
And then he met me outside Wimbledon station once! Chatted, brought his book and shook his hand, dont think I will have made his journal though.

On a totally random seperate point, scientists say in 50 years there will be no sea fish left. Now Im not saying this is down to fat British teens, but we will soon be visiting the chip shop only, and gangsters will be sleeping alone and not with the fishes.