Monday, April 30, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #109 Does Insanity float your boat?

Name : Bruce Napier
Age : Old enough to know better
Location : The Inland Waterways of the UK
Vocation : Psychologist
Philosophy : Carpe Diem

Sum up what your blog is about.
The experience of living on board a narrow boat, cruising the waterways of England, the challenges and philosophical insights of doing that.

Why are you doing your blog?
Originally keeping the family informed, and to have a record of our cruising out there.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
Not for me to judge - what do you think?

What is your writing style?
Based on Sir Ernest Gowers' Complete Plain Words.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Don't stop (reminds me of my dream last night...)

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Polishing brass, probably

Why should someone visit your site?
To find out what it's like living on board - lots of people ask about it, and you can't tell them in a few words.

What did you learn from your first love?
Carpe puellam (I should've asked her faster...)

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yours, of course.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Albert Einstein, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, the former for his wit and looks, and the latter for her intelligent conversation, (true)

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
These Americans on a hire boat had tried to run a 2 kWatt hairdrier on the inverter, and blown it. I switched it back on for them.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
This guy's walking along a beach and finds an old bottle. He rubs it clean, and out pops the genie to give him three wishes. 1) Give me the body of a footballer - flash, bang! and he looks like David Beckham. 2) Make me a millionaire - flash bang! and the genie hands him the number of his Swiss bank account. 3) Make me irresistible to women - flash, bang! and he turns into a box of Belgian chocolate.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Give up work, buy a boat.

Any interesting travel stories?
The whole damn blog!

What experience did you take from being a clinical psychologist?
1) Everyone's a hero in their own story - there are no spear carriers and 2) the route to happiness is using your skills to help others.

Do you have any strong opinions you would like to debate with me?
How come, in the 21st century, two of the longest established democracies in the world couldn't stop their leaders making the mistakes they've made in Iraq?

Joe Blogs : Firstly war is a failiure of democracy. The actions of Bush and Blair were the actions of two colonial powers, who thought they were still in the early 20th century. They didn't realise the voracity of 24 hour media, and strong public opinion.

Politicians can talk a good talk when campaigning for election, but when it comes to governing a country there are other issues. Globalisation, national security, and resources are key here.

Scaremongering over WMD and Saddam, made the public go along with the government. They say power corrupts. No one knew for sure what would happen when the coalition entered Iraq, but few could have expected the clashes we have seen. Politicians are elected as the peoples representatives. There is some apathy toward the political process, so some people have gotten used to bad government, and their issues being unheard.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
My marriage to a woman who still puts up with me after 30+ years.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Should we send colony ships to these extra-solar planets, and who should we send?

Joe Blogs : Although the explorer in me says yes, billions of dollars would be better spent helping people on planet Earth in poverty. Although you have to weigh that up with the chance to send Posh Spice and her singing to a galaxy far far away...

Your Site Address : Living In Sanity

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #108 Legendary Mr Biffo

Name : Paul Rose AKA Mr Biffo (IMDB) (Wiki)
Age : 35
Location : London, UK
Vocation : Writer
Philosophy : Confused sort of liberal, lefty, hippy-drip stuff. But I'm not too sure about any of it.

Sum up what your blog is about.
What are blogs ever about? It's about me. Of late, it's about me plugging my new book.

Why are you doing your blog?
I started during a period when I was struggling to start work in the mornings. It was originally meant to be a warming-up exercise, but I got hooked. It gives me an opportunity to write without notes from script editors, or producers, or random passers-by. It's the only writing I get to do where I'm not answerable to anyone else, and where nobody is going to chip in with their own ideas. And that's liberating. And sexy.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
I'm sure everyone finds different bits funny. To be honest, though, I'm not necessarily trying to write funny as that takes effort, and my blog is a very first-draft-y stream-of-consiousness. I just write how I write. That said, there is an entry about the time I got accused of touching an Italian man's bottom in Tesco. I suppose that could be considered funny. Though at the time it was just plain harrowing.

What is your writing style?
I've no idea. What a strange question. That's like asking a tap whether its water tastes good.

What do people commonly say about your site?
They don't really. They just start asking me about things I'd forgotten blogging about. It can be a touch confusing. It's strange, but I feel very awkward and self-conscious when I meet people who've been reading my blog. It's like coming face to face with the man who has been taking photos of you in the shower, and it turns out he has posted copies of the photos to all your friends, family, and colleagues. And you've got a really small penis.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
My proper job. Or filing some VAT receipts. Or entertaining my children. Something less self-serving anyway.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because they can learn where to buy Confessions of a Chatroom Freak, this years funniest book. Also, to make them feel good about themselves, and to make me feel really uncomfortable.

What did you learn from your first love?
That I like curvy brunettes. And that I make a much better husband than boyfriend.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, but I rarely have the time. Scaryduck is always well written, as is the intermittent blogging of Doctor Whose.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Living or dead? Living, I've got a soft spot for Stephen Fry, and Carrie Fisher. They seem like intelligent, friendly people with a bit of a story to tell. Possibly Julian Cope. Dead: Jesus. Oh wait he's not dead. Or is he? Actually, forget it. Jesus is just too damn confusing to invite.

Tell us about the idea behind your new book.
It's me pretending to be a young woman, going into Internet chat rooms, and waiting for dirty old men to start talking to me. And then once they've got good and hot, I send them my photo. The book contains the genuine transcripts of what occurred. I think and I hope its very funny. And a bit disturbing. I keep telling myself that its making an important point about online activities, but I'll let readers draw their own conclusions. The mask reveals the man and all that.

Tell us about the process you go through when you write.
The first few pages of anything I write are the most tortuous and re-written of the entire piece. I will spend days agonizing over the first few hundred words. After that I'm flying. And you can never predict when inspiration is going to strike. I have been known to write nothing all day, and then like a bolt out of the blue suddenly be writing like a demon from 10pm until 6am the following morning.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I helped a woman carry her pushchair up a flight of stairs. Also, I cured cancer.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
This isn't a particularly funny story, but for some reason this is the first thing that came into my head. At my school there was a boy called Michael Wilson, and for years I told him that there was a poo in a cage in my father's shed, and that I used to feed it toilet paper. You're glad you asked now, aren't you?

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Keep going. But that was the advice I did give myself, so ya know. I'm not a great believer in hindsight. My life, 5 years ago, was a toilet. Regrets? I've got a few. But I wouldn't change a thing. I should be writing songs, really.

Any interesting travel stories?
I went to Chernobyl last year, which was about as interesting as you'd imagine. Kiev was the real surprise though; it's one of the finest cities I've ever been too. Also, I got winked at in an underpass by a woman who I don't believe was a prostitute. That kept me buoyed for weeks. I'm shortly hoping to go on an expedition to South American to search for giant anacondas and apemen, with the Centre for Fortean Zoology. That's not even a lie.

Do you have any strong opinions you would like to debate with me?
Not really. Nobody wins online debates.

Joe Blogs :
I thought your book was about online mass debate?

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Just that I continue to make a living out of doing the thing I love doing most. And having a book published is proving to be pretty cool.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Why haven't you bought my book yet?

Joe Blogs : I'll check it out, it looks like a good book. Thanks Mr Biffo, as a reader of the former Digitiser Magazine on Channel 4, it was a pleasure to interview you. Mr Biffo is also a BAFTA nominated screenwriter and has written for many shows including Eastenders and My Family to name but two. I lifted this from Wiki, made me chuckle : "He(Mr Biffo) once managed to provoke complaints over his episode of EastEnders where the character Dirty Den uttered the phrase "Big constables" in a way that implied profanity. (Interview in Retro Magazine)." That's legendary!

Your Site Address : Mr Biffo

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #107 Female Science Professor

Name : Female Science Professor
Age : Older Than You
Location : Blogosphere
Vocation : Science Professor
Philosophy : Sarcasm

Sum up what your blog is about.
The quotidian and cosmic academic experiences of a quasi-senior woman science professor who loves her job but finds some aspects of it more annoying and puzzling than others.

Why are you doing your blog?
I like to write, I like to communicate with lots of random anonymous people, and I like to make fun of annoying and absurd professional colleagues.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Almost anything about a faculty meeting, believe it or not: e.g. Real Men & Diversity,

What is your writing style?
Professorial, but I want to write like Orhan Pamuk, though perhaps in English, but with more sarcasm.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That what I write either encourages or discourages people, sometimes at the same time.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I would be posting videos of my cats on YouTube. In these videos, my cats' actions are metaphors for major themes in life and global politics: life, death, technology, lawns, war. I feel that I need to share this with the world, although it is extremely annoying when someone's video of a cat sitting in a bird feeder (doing nothing!) gets orders of magnitude, more hits than my cats' dynamic cine-poetry.

Why should someone visit your site?
So that they can see how much fun it is to be a science professor.

What did you learn from your first love?
Statistical Mechanics.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I commonly peruse some academic/science blogs.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Do I have to choose a living person? If so, then I choose Orhan Pamuk. If I can choose a dead person but not have them actually be dead at the dinner party, I choose Herodotus. If Herodotus was too busy, Strabo would be OK too.

What area of science do you find most fascinating?
Physical sciences.

What in science developments do you see having the most impact in the next couple of decades?
Science research related to critical societal issues involving resources, water, climate, oceans, and ecosystems.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I just fed my cats. I had no choice, but it still counts as a good deed.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A friend of mine was working in a restaurant and a rather rude customer came up to her and said MAKE ME A HAMBURGER. She pretended to touch him with her magic wand and said POOF! You're a hamburger!

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Feed your cats on Friday, 27 April, 2007. Throw out that purple shirt now.

Any interesting travel stories?
I was traveling alone in a remote region of the world with a highly recommended guide/driver who spoke even less of my language than I did of his, and I only knew a bit of his. He kept taking me to the wrong places and I kept saying, using the few words of his language that I knew: "This [X = name of the incorrect destination] is bad. This [X] is wrong." He muttered unhappy-sounding words and took me to the next wrong place. I said "NO, this [X] is very bad. This [X] is very wrong." I tried to point on the map where I wanted to go, but he ignored me. He started screaming and hitting me on my arm. I endured another hour of wrong destinations and screaming and hitting. Finally he drove me to a military station and took me to some heavily armed men, and continued screaming while pointing at me. One of the soldiers laughed and asked me "Do you know what this man's last name is?" I said no, I only knew his first name. Well, his last name was... X. He thought I had been saying that HE was a bad person, and my rudeness finally made him so mad that he decided I should be arrested. The soldiers told me to fire him because he was crazy and I shouldn't be alone with him.

Do you have any strong opinions you would like to debate with me?
Sans-serif fonts are far superior to serif fonts.

Joe Blogs : As we all know Sans-serif fonts are for bolder headlines and Serif fonts are not. Serif fonts have details on the end of strokes, San's-Serif meaning without, in French. Sans-Serif is commonly known as Gothic, and Serif as Roman. I'm partial to a bit of Times New Roman myself, much prettier than Aerial! I'm sure the Pope prefers his own font though.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
My daughter was born exactly at 5:00 pm at the exact moment that NPR plays that top-of-the-hour pre-headline music intro, and so every day when I listen to NPR I relive the experience of childbirth and I'd really rather not (although my daughter is the greatest thing in the world blah blah blah).

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Do you think it is appropriate to give people names, to pets?

Joe Blogs : A pet is supposed to be a joy so why not give it a human name. It's not like it can pick a name for itself. On the other hand giving a pet a personality and talking to it like it understands your every word can be a bit inappropriate. I'm talking about those people that constantly carry their dogs round in bags or in their arms, and let them lick their faces. So you'd prefer non human names, how about Spock, or E.T?

Your Site Address : Female Science Professor

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #106 John Baker's Blog

Name : John Baker (Wiki)
Age : Yeah, definitely
Location : York, UK
Vocation : I'm a writer. I write novels. I blog.
Philosophy : Keep on truckin'

Sum up what your blog is about.
Writing, how to do it better. Politics. Trying to find the funny side of life. Screaming about things that hurt.

Why are you doing your blog?
I need to get the inside of my head out there. It would be selfish to keep all this good stuff to myself.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
A visit I made to the swimming baths;

What is your writing style?
I was influenced by the modernists, Hemingway, Fitzgerald; and expressionism has been important. I suppose I don't over-write, so the style should be spare; leaving as much as possible for the reader to fill in the blanks.

What do people commonly say about your site?
"Hey, I like your site." or "Jeez, I'm not coming back here again."

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
Writing a novel.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because it won't always be there. They could miss out completely.

What did you learn from your first love?
That I'd been missing a lot.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Grumpy Old Bookman. Also Dick Jones' Patteran Pages.

What is your biggest accomplishment?
Surviving youth.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
I'm not into celebrity. Maybe some historical or literary figure. Yeah, could try Jane Austen. Cook a goose for her. Would be a weird evening. Really different. And it would be a great story for when someone invited me out for dinner.

Tell us about the process you go through, writing a novel.
I get dissatisfied. Dream a lot. Start taking notes. Get hung on things, concepts. Start actively seeking out metaphors. Write reams and dispose of it. Finally make a commitment and then go back on it 20 times. Try to seek out a point of view, first person, second person, third person. Stop doing other things, cut life down to something spartan like eating, sleeping, writing and not allow anything else in. Discover that I'm getting on for half way there.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I chased a big pigeon away so a crippled blackbird could get at some crumbs.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
When people say random to me I freak out.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Slow down, you'll still be around five years from now.

Any interesting travel stories?
I met a guy who was going round the world. All he could talk about was getting from one place to another.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
A woman said she loved me and I hadn't done anything to deserve it.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's that thing at the back of your fridge?

Joe Blogs : When people ask my age, I say I have the body of an 18 year old. In the back of my fridge.

Your Site Address : John Baker's Blog

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Joe Blogs Interview #105 Comic Book Enthusiast

Name : David Campbell
Age : Thirtysomething
Location : Seattle area
Vocation : Corporate drone / freelance writer
Philosophy : Sartrean existentialism

Sum up what your blog is about.
I post "humorous" commentaries on the dog-eared comic books in my somewhat vast collection.

Why are you doing your blog?
Chicks and money. Actually, I'm hoping to convey my appreciation and affection for the comic book medium. I often mock horrible comics, but I find almost as much value in horrible comics as I do in great ones.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Hmm... hard to say, but my treatise on the sexualization of Power Girl is a perennial favorite among readers. Probably because I use the word "boobs" and "breasts" 500 times in that post alone. Thanks Google!

What is your writing style?
Casual and low-brow.

What do people commonly say about your site?
"It used to be funnier."

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?

Why should someone visit your site?
If they're bored at work or they can't sleep.

What did you learn from your first love?
Don't date Mormons.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, plenty! I enjoy Armagideon Time , Beaucoup Kevin, Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin, Bully Says: Comics Oughta Be Fun! and Chris's Invincible Super-Blog, the blog run by my arch-rival who I will crush some day. Some day...

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Ted Nugent - just to watch my liberal wife FREAK OUT!

What is your favourite comic and why?
Gosh, does anybody really have a favorite comic? Probably Superman vs Muhammad Ali or Hitman #34 , because they're both full of goodness.

What is the most controversial comic you have read?
Those crazy-ass Jack Chick fundamentalist pamphlets. They're insane.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I don't know. I held the door open for an old lady the other day - does that count?

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
The other day a seagull sh*t on my head. That's all I got.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Bet on the Angels to win the World Series.

Any interesting travel stories?
I have been charged by a bear, nearly drowned in class IV rapids, been swept out to sea, accosted by German thugs, broke my back whilst skiing too fast, seen a ghost, had a bullet pass between my legs, had my car attacked by a huge Samoan dude in a bowling alley parking lot, and drank the water when I shouldn't have.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Mushy but true: the birth of my two girls.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Joe Blogs, answer me this : who would win in a fight, Chewbacca or Worf?

Joe Blogs : Worf would win because he would slice and dice Chewbacca with his bat'leth(Klingon Sword).

Your Site Address : Dave's Long Box

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Murder Mystery "The Greatest Who Dunnit Ever!" #3

Introducing a chapter by acclaimed author, Agent Rusty Bones, Check Out his site too!

Meanwhile, below Willoughby Mansion, a shadowy figure moved down a passageway so ancient that it couldn't be found on any known maps. The tunnel was narrow, twisting, and damp. The walls were covered in lichen and moss, but the floor was worn smooth by the passage of countless footsteps during previous ages. The black slippered feet of the figure made no sound and left no tracks.

The figure moved with the ease and grace of someone long familiar with the tight, cramped quarters of these ancient tunnels.

Just as one door was being opened for Detective Joe Blogs by a cheeky butler, a second, secret door was being opened by the stealthy figure into a former workshop off the servants quarters that now served as a cluttered storage room.

The figure stepped from the darkness of the narrow passageway into the pale light of the day filtered by dusty curtains. The figure quickly shed the black hoodie , the black sweatpants, and the strange slippered black toe socks that served it so well in last nights work. The clothes lay piled up on a large white towel that would later serve to pick up the mess in one motion.

The figure stepped over the large wooded wardrobe that held the preferred costume for todays festivities and dressed quickly.

The towel on the ground was picked up, wrapped into a bundle and placed carefully in the hidden drawer of the wardrobe. The secret door formed by the paneling next to the great fire place in the chamber was slid carefully back into place before the fine dove skin gloves were removed and tossed into the drawer with the other work clothes. That drawer was carefully latched back into place.

The figure took one brief moment to look into the mirror. She smiled as she looked as ravishing as she had last night. Now only if her partner followed her instructions, then all of the work of the last ten years of her life would pay off in spades...but could she trust her partner?

She shrugged her shoulders and gave the coy, shy smile that she had practiced so many times before. The dice were cast, the winning score was yet to be determined.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Murder Mystery "The Greatest Who Dunnit Ever!" #2

"I like the decor, this place could be featured on MTV Cribs, where is the oversized fish tank?" Det. Blogs asks.
The butler enquires, "Detective, do you not want to know where the body is?"
"Well I figure the body is going to be sleeping with the fishes, what is that flashing device over there? An answer machine I presume?"
"That is where you will find the answers Detective"
Detective Blogs looked back, "Very funny, maybe I could get some facts from the fax machine, and the time of death from Dr Who, now show me around this palace Jeeves"

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Murder Mystery "The Greatest Who Dunnit Ever!" #1

A foreboding mansion is sat a top a hill, a winding road snakes its way up to the water fountain centre peice, and entrance to Willoughby Manor. The galing wind whistles and tree branches attack the stone walls. An assortment of cars are parked outside. A weather vale creaks as it rattles in the wind. There is a crack of lightning and a shadowy figure is seen moving across behind the window, clutching what looks like a knive. A car pulling up into the drive flashes its headlights facing the mansion, not once, but twice.

The lights are on downstairs, and there are plenty of shadowy figures, it looks like a house party. A scream is heard. All the lights go out.

The next day...
Detective Joe Blogs pulls up at the front entrance. He looks over the horizon, the scenery is green and peaceful. He steps out of his green Jaguar. Wearing a brown tweed jacket with elbow pads, khaki trousers, and white sneakers, and square black rimmed glasses, he furrowed his brow and made his way up to the mansion door. White pillars made the entrance a little like the White House. Scenes of crime police are crawling all over the place.

A butler came to the door, before the detective could knock. "Ive been expecting you" the butler said wringing his hands together, "Detective Blogs, I assume?"

"Never assume anything, is what I say. Otherwise I'd assume as the butler, you are the murderer! Are you?"
"Yes it's me, I done it! And can I take your coat detective?"
The detective raised his eyebrows, squinted his eyes, and detected the butler was trying to be funny, and gave a meagre grin. Anyway he declined to pass his coat and stepped inside. The marble floor was spotless and the chandelier and stairway was impressive. The butlers whispy overgrown eyebrows were a mild distraction, he was sure he had seen them before brows in the internet.

To be continued... or not...

Monday, April 16, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #104 Secret Dubai

Name : Secret Dubai
Age : Undisclosed.
Location : Dubai, UAE.
Vocation : Media.
Philosophy : Love thy neighbour

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's about Dubai - its development, its people, and what it's like to live there.

Why are you doing your blog?
To record my experiences in Dubai.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Probably the guy who had sex with a camel. And fell in love with it.

What is your writing style?
All over the place. Generally prose, often error strewn, frequently verbose, and sometimes I attempt the world's worst pastiche poetry based on popular song lyrics. "Desert doggerel", as I like to call it.

What do people commonly say about your site?
They love it or they hate it, and flame me ;)

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
Surfing the net.

Why should someone visit your site?
If they want to learn about the reality of Dubai.

What did you learn from your first love?
How wonderful and exciting love is.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Absolutely masses. At least a dozen that I check on daily, and hundreds of others I keep track of with Bloglines.

What's it like living in Dubai?
Hectic, gridlocked, frustrating, surreal.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Agatha Christie so we could talk about writing.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Bloglines, because it is so incredibly useful for keeping track of blogs.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Nothing, I am currently very low down on the stairway to heaven. They're probably stoking the flames as I write.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Most are unprintable unfortunately. Including my dream about seeing an extremely famous sheikh in the bath (there were plenty of modesty-preserving bubbles thank god).

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
See below - don't climb that damn rock face in Wadi Rum.

Any interesting travel stories?
When I was travelling through Jordan I fell off a rock face in Wadi Rum. I climbed up to take photos of the rock colours and patterns - they were all red and streaky - but then I couldn't climb down. The rock was really smooth and shiny and I couldn't get a foothold. I ended up falling down head first towards solid rock, with my guide essentially acting as a crash mat, I nearly killed him. By some miracle neither of us had anything broken. But since then I have suffered from crippling vertigo which I am trying to overcome through climbing walls and so on. It is very frustrating having an irrational phobia that is physically debilitating and against all common sense.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Winning a Bloggie felt pretty earthshattering. I think the most lifechanging thing for me was leaving the UK to go backpacking in Australia, and basically never going back. I've visited, but not lived there in nearly a decade now. Landing at Brisbane airport in the summer sunshine after the sh***y grey drizzle of wintry Gatwick and a nightmare 30-hour flight (Garuda - yay!) was so incredible that I actually cried when I saw all the bright flowers by the road on the way into Brisbane. Climbing Ayer's Rock/Uluru was also one of the most incredible experiences of my life, the beauty of the view from the top is indescribable.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What keeps you blogging, Joe?

Joe Blogs : Meeting interesting people like yourself. Week in, week out. Learning about new cultures is great too. Being able to publish my writing is cool also. Visit Secret Dubai's Blog, it's definitely my favourite interview with someone from Dubai , as you can see from his picture, he is a cool cat.

Your Site Address : Secret Dubai

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Joe Blog's Fave YouTube Videos #2

Here is another of my favourite videos. It shows there is at least one intelligent person on US TV. Again leave a comment, let us know your thoughts. The more comments, the higher this video will be in future rankings.

Video #2 Jon Stewart On Crossfire

American comedian Jon Stewart appearing on political debate show Crossfire is a must see. He crucifies the co host's for hurting America and not holding politicians feet to the fire. Jon has plenty of common sense, and witty responses as the discussion becomes heated. It's always good to see a lively debate.

Best Part :
Jon Stewart "How old are you?"
Tucker Carlson "35"
Jon Stewart "And your wearing a bow tie. Now I'm not saying your not an intelligent guy, because those things are hard to tie".

Joe Blog's Fave YouTube Videos #1

I will be sharing my favourite YouTube videos with you guys. The only requirement here is that the video makes me think "wow did you see that, that really got me thinking", not just, "wow, Beyonce looks good in this video".

Video #1 Ricky Gervais Meets... Gary Shandling

This is one of the most awkward interviews you will see. In hindsight I am not sure if this was scripted. The conversation certainly has some uncomfortable moments, as Shandling explores where Gervais humour is coming from. With Shandling's stand offish, oddball behaviour, displayed in this interview, you are never sure whether he is playing it for laughs or if he is being himself. What do you think? The more comments you give here the higher the video will go in the future rankings.

Best Part : Gary shandling gets himself a coffee.
Ricky Gervais "It's alright I didnt want one. F***in hell". "So, do I not get one?"
Gary Shandling "Get one, what?"
Ricky Gervais "A Coffee"
Gary Shandling "Really?"
Ricky Gervais "Yeah" "How rude, f***in hell"

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #103 Diary Of A Humourist

Name : Robert Wringham
Age : 24
Location : Glasgow, Scotland
Vocation : Humourist
Philosophy : Yes.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It’s made up of the flotsam and jetsam of everyday life, especially the stuff that takes place on subways, on trains, in elevators and in doctors’ waiting rooms – the transitional spaces that most people try not to engage with too seriously. Life happens in the gaps. And it’s usually blackly funny.

Why are you doing your blog?
Vanity mainly. People say lots of nice things to me just in case I say anything nasty about them on the Internet. They know I can destroy them. But also habit. I’ve always kept a diary in one form or another. My earliest memory of keeping a record of daily events involves writing in pencil the words orated by my mother at the kitchen table. My grandma had bought me the diary itself, the cover of which depicted a cold-eyed Mickey Mouse brandishing an oversized fountain pen in one sinister white-gloved hand. As with the designs of so many ice cream vans, I do not believe that the diary was a product entirely endorsed by the Walt Disney Corporation.

In 2003 I started to make my diary a public affair simply for the sake of experimentation. The blog was on a stand-alone platform back then (it’s on Livejournal now) and had a different name. But I liked all the feedback and email I used to get from it – blogging is increasingly becoming a two-way process – so I carried on.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
I’m quite fond of the one about a bank manager.

What is your writing style?
I don’t try to have one but I like to keep it pretty austere and to-the-point. I hate blogs where everything is abbreviated or written in code or shorthand or are just an unedited stream of consciousness. Those guys say they’re writing for themselves and that quality doesn’t matter. So why put it on the Internet? Write it on a potato and bury it.

What do people commonly say about your site?
My friend Steph who has been reading fairly consistently since the beginning says “It’s all too clever now. I liked it better when you were a moron”. But I don’t know what she’s on about. I think these days its pretty well received by the handful of people who actually read it.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Living a fuller, richer, more fulfilling life.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because they have no self respect.

What did you learn from your first love?
That “Fido” is not what they mean by “pet name”.

How long have you kept a diary?
Since I was a child. My mother would dictate what I should write in those tightly lined yet bog-roll thin pages, the entries were not exactly written straight from the heart. I think the object of these sessions was that they might improve my handwriting - the perfect preparation for a lifetime spent entirely in an age of laptop computers. It is also plausible that these sessions were punishments in some capacity: I distinctly remember being forced to record that I had “acted like a monkey” while visiting Jack and Ethel (two elderly neighbours) and that I must go and apologise first thing in the morning. It was like an enforced confession in which I had to seriously engage with my wrongdoings and consider how I might go about correcting them. I found it particularly uncomfortable having to engage with something so unpleasant by a means which would otherwise be leisurely: like being force-fed a delicious chocolate cake while being prodded with a taser.

Throughout my adolescence I kept diaries too. Obviously these were more personal affairs safe from my mother's disciplinary orations, padlocked within a leather briefcase along with the pornographic magazines I had found in a bin. I recently dug out these diaries in the hopes that they would contain hidden gems and Adrian Mole-style tales of teenage angst but the best thing I found was a biro sketch of myself masturbating, the penis marginally exaggerated. Now that my diary is popular on the Internet, it is my fondest hope that these older documents might be displayed in cases in the British Museum.

What’s the idea behind your blog design?
My blog doesn’t really have one. My homepage, however, depicts a dissected haddock with all the guts labeled incorrectly. The idea behind it? Sex. Isn’t that the idea behind everything?

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Millions. I love ‘Click Opera’ by Momus; ’The Affected Provincial’s Handbook’ by Lord Whimsy; and ‘Warming Up’ by Richard Herring. Those guys are blog superstars though and liking them is no smarter than liking the music of Madonna or supporting Manchester United. Everyone’s at it now. Simon Munnery has one at the New Statesman. Not even I saw that coming.

How was it, moving from Birmingham to Glasgow?
When Samuel Johnson went to the Hebrides he expected to rough it with naked blue-arsed savages but there were none. Similarly, I’ve not seen a single see-you-jimmy hat since I got here.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Well, this was intended as a good deed of sorts but as with many such things it ended up insulted a bind man.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I’m working in an office at the moment. It’s horrible. Every morning when I reach, bleary-eyed, for a coffee cup from the kitchen cupboard inadvertently pick up this very peculiar one with no handle. I never realise until I’m pouring coffee into it. Turns out it’s a sugar bowl.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Do you mean what would I tell myself if I could travel back in time five years? “Invest in bonds”. He’ll get the joke, he’s a clever kid.

Any interesting travel stories?
I visited Prague last year shortly after all that Terrorist stuff went down in London. The way we were treated by airport security was horrible (I wrote about it here). I was asked to remove my hat by a customs officer. It was terribly embarrassing to reveal my marmalade sandwiches.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Meeting my exact double. He was as surprised as I was.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Ever been to Wigan?

Joe Blogs : Never. But never say never.

Your Site Address : Robert Wringham's Diary

Sunday, April 08, 2007

The Best Of Joe Blogs

Here is a recap of my writing over the last few months. Enjoy.

Did you hear about the story of the Squirrel Monkey, Sponge Bob. He escaped recently and was recaptured, his fellow monkeys won't accept him back. Maybe they thought it was a bit crowded on the swinging tyre anyway.

You'd think that he'd come back and be the toast of the town with all the stories he could tell about life outside the cage. Maybe he had been aping the delinquents on the Housing Estate he was found on. He came back throwing crap, biting people, picking flees, grooming, it was just unacceptable to his shocked monkey friends.

Bill Gates, I wonder if hes counting his money now, or perhaps hes developing program, maybe hes emptying out his virtual trash can. If he had told his wife what he'd be doing with his life when they first met, i.e. selling windows, helping people empty their trash cans, she might have thought twice.

If MTV Cribs featured George W. Bush's book shelf it would probably feature The Green Cross Code rather than the Da Vinci Code, and How to train your poodle. Maybe also The Dummys Guide To Running A Democracy. In Saddam Hussein's house they might find How To Lose Friends And Annihilate People.

Bush and Blair talked about standing shoulder to shoulder. Bush has come out saying the USA doesn't condone torture, which is good. He has also come out saying he sometimes uses 'the Google'. He has used the Google map to look at his ranch in Texas he says, probably also local Krispy Kreme Donuts, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings,North Korea, etc. Good to know hes so advanced hes keeping an eye on things with 'the Google'.

I wonder if George Bush played Monopoly he'd go straight to disaster mode. I wonder if politicians ever get together and play Monopoly, probably, Tony is the poodle, Gordon Brown is the Banker, John Prescott gets the car, but hes not happy because he wants 2 Jags. Nelson Mandela has to wait ages before he gets his get out of jail free card. And then Robert Mugabe comes along and ruins the game by stealing all their houses.

Saddam Hussein has been hanged. I don’t agree with death penalty for anyone, but it drew my attention to a quote by Dr William Palmer, a British serial killer. Due to be hanged at the gallows his last words were, “Are you sure this thing is safe”.

UK prison space is in crisis apparently. We need more cages, millet, cuttle fish, and swings. Maybe we could also let them out to fly, Business class to the Bahamas perhaps. In Australia they have enrolled inmates on crocodile handling courses, as a way of rehabilitating inmates. Now we know where those crocodile handbags and shoes are coming from, a croc farm in Australia. They had just gotten over Roger Moore jumping on them in that Bond film. So now they've got more problems with people who are no longer Saints. Maybe the crocs should get rehabilitation while being held down on a couch. Would say retail therapy, but those croc leather wallets aren't going to help.

Grizzly Man, a documentary film on Alaskan Bears shows Timothy Treadwell close up with them as he lived for several summers. Until he met a grizzly end, after all those years he must have finally taken their porridge.

Madonna has adopted a child from Malawi. And theres a big hoo ha about this. That kid is definately going to be provided for in a material sense, and you would hope a caring way too. Although the fathers admission that he didn't know he was giving up his child for good is telling. Madonna might say to him Papa Dont Preach, where as he would say I'm Top Of The Pops. Maybe when the kid starts asking questions about the birds and the bees, Guy Ritchie can say to him, "Son watch this, it's called Snatch".

I brought some fair trade peanuts, does that mean the people who harvested the nuts are paid peanuts?

SUV's or 4x4 cars as they are known, are going to face a probable £25 congestion charge in London. For that amount of money, I'd want a trip through the Serengeti, or a monkey enclosure at the very least.

The worlds tallest living man, Bao Xishun, made a name for himself this year for another reason. He saved two dolphins lives, who had plastic lodged in their stomachs. Maybe he could move on from dolphins and try and extract things from humans. A brain from George Bush, an Alien from Tom Cruise, and something human from a plastic Pamela Anderson.

In the world of robots, a robotic seal has been created in Japan, to keep the aging population in company. Apparently it responds to petting, it has sensors between its fur and whiskers. The S&M version comes with a club.

US Food Regulator FDA has stated that cloned cattle, pigs, and goats produce food, “as safe as the food we eat every day”. This isn't so new though, McDonalds have been doing double cheeseburgers for a long time.

Momofoku Ando who invented dried noodle snacks, has died aged 96. Like the added water, he lived life to the maximum level. Despite an unfortunate name, that often got him into hot water, it is estimated there were 250 billion servings of his noodles.

I saw a headline recently saying, ‘UK rail chief tells commuters they must stand’. That’s a bit rich, I mean for how long, and if pregnant, old, etc, what then. I don’t think commuters will stand for this. The rail chief says you shouldn't expect seats during peak periods, well not surprisingly we don’t anyway. Fair enough I learned my lesson before, that I shouldn't expect platform nine and three quarters at Kings Cross station. But next he’ll be coming out saying commuters shouldn't expect trains.

Speaking of the monarchy, a British Historian Sarah Poynting, has discovered a secret code in a love letter written by Charles I. The letter was written in 1648, while Charles was imprisoned in Carisbrooke castle. The message he encrypted, was “I imagine that there is one way possible that you may get a swiving from me.” The word swiving was a word used for sex in the 17th century. So the findings aren’t exactly the holy grail, but it shows the King liked to have swiving good time.

A former secretary at Coca-Cola has been found guilty of trying to sell on secret documents to rival firm Pepsi, for a minimum of £1.5 million. This isn't the same as just stealing Grandma's recipe. Joya Williams may now get 10 years to taste test life in the can. I might give her a ring, to see if I can pull her out.

Milkman Charlie Harris has retired after 45 years and delivering 7 million pints. It's alleged he didn't have the bottle any more.

An £8 billion bid is being touted for British food store Sainsbury's. You could try paying at the checkout, but not at the 8 items or less queue. You could rack up some loyalty points buying Sainsbury's! I'm sure if you went to pay at the kiosk, a tannoy announcement would have to be made. A deal breaker could be, "Can I have a bag with that?"

A Nasa Astronaut, Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles in a nappy to interrogate a love rival. She told cops she wore a nappy so she wouldn’t have to stop, wearing a nappy is normal for astronauts on long journeys. She sprayed pepper spray in her rivals face, before the victim sped off. She had latex gloves and a gun, she certainly wasn’t going 900 miles to Florida to pamper her.

Crossing the road listening to an iPod is set to become a criminal act. Listening to James Blunt could get you a £50 fine and a date in court. Some might say that's reasonable for listening to Blunt. It's common sense that you pay attention when crossing the road. But if you don't you could be shackled and have to shuffle into a police van. At least the life sentence for the battery won't be very long at all.

Judi Dench nominated for an Oscar this year won't be able to make the Oscars because of a knee operation. She could also win best supporting knee. I imagine she will go to a private hospital where they specialise in treating chocolate. When her twin sister visits, they will have to care for M&M. Bond could come and visit, M likes a double agent, though in a British hospital she'd be better off with a cleaning agent. Maybe they could do a satellite broadcast from Judy's hospital bed. And at the end pull the curtains round.

In the news, North Korea is to end it's nuclear programme, I never saw it was it any good? I prefer 24, or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. It's a shame because I've never seen North Korean television. Though I heard it was explosive TV, and Sienna Miller was in it, The Factory Girl. I couldn't believe it when I saw that 6 nations had gathered round at a summit to discuss the programme. Why don't they start a book club as well?

I think I know the reason for Britney’s recent madness. I saw a headline ‘Chimpanzees Hunt Using Spears’. It is not known if she has any choice.

Helen Mirren won the best actress Oscar. It's no surprise with all the promotional material I've seen. They must have spent millions promoting the movie, every time I pay for something in the shop, or post a letter. It's in your face. I don't like this aggressive marketing, in fact all I can think about is the Queen movie. Forest Whittaker won best actor but you don't see stamps and mugs with his face on do you?

Thanks for reading.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Have I Got News For You

The sailors held captive in Iran. What an experience, you don’t know what will be happen to you or what will be done. A foreign language, culture and food. Missing family and friends. Is it just me or do some of those sailors have careers in weather presenting. The one female sailor seemed to be the focus of attention, wearing a scarf she wouldn’t normally wear. The sailors wardrobe seemed to be taken out of Miami Vice.

Italian police battered Man Utd fans in a recent game against Roma. It was more like The Colosseum, and Gladiator. Man Utd Captain Gary Neville might have said,
“Leader of the team from up north, father to a hot cross bun, I will have my vengeance in the first half or the next”

Talking CCTV cameras are being piloted to stop antisocial behaviour and crime on the street. “you there stop smashing the car window and step away, now this time put more swing into it, otherwise this’ll never make ‘The World’s Wildest Police Videos’”. Obviously the best people to do the job would be Hollywood directors. It would go to court and judge would give deliverance, “I find you guilty of the directors cut”.

Halle Berry has a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, since her career sunk with Catwoman, she must be used to people walking all over her.

Christopher Reeves costume from Superman is set to be put up for auction, Tim Allen’s costume from Home Improvement is also set to go under the hammer.

The cost of making a call in a UK hospital has gone up 160%. Must be a swanky phone. Maybe they will start supplying chocolate mints under feather pillows in four poster beds. Or maybe not.

Gordon Brown’s tax raid on pensions has put old people in the red or is that brown, nothing unusual about that.

US comedian Eddie Griffin crashed a Ferrari Enzo into a concrete barrier. Sounds more like Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

Millions of customers credit card details and pins, have been stolen from cut price store TK Maxx. The computer files were swiped away. More worryingly my sewing kit has been stolen, I get pins and needles thinking about it.

Hitler was almost referred to Sigmund Freud’s couch as a child. Imagine the difference to the world that could have made. Hitler could have worked in a furniture shop, Anne Frank could have had a show room.

Newt Gingrich is reported to be starring in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Kim Jong Il has reportedly eaten a rabbit that won a prize as Germany’s largest. Sent over to North Korea as a breeding rabbit, and weighing as much as a small dog. Seems like Kim Jong will be more concerned with a rabbit fence than nuclear defense.

Glasgow is the UK's phone theft capital, now we know what they keep under their kilts.

And finally, Martin Sheen has been arrested 65 times in 20 years, for protests, so more C-Wing than West Wing.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #102 A Major Interview

Name : Twenty Major
Age : 35-90
Location : Dublin
Vocation : Enthusiastic drinker and smoker
Philosophy : Don't pick it, it'll never heal.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's about general stuff and possibly some made up stuff with some 80's pop music references as often as I can get away with them. It features a regular cast of characters who all meet in a bar and get drunk together. If you like graphic descriptions of bodily functions then you'll probably like it.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because it amuses me and provides me with an outlet for some of the stuff in my brain which would probably come out in other ways if I didn't blog. Perhaps in song or by painting or perhaps by horrendous acts of self-harm or violence. Blogging keeps society safe. I really have no singing voice to speak of.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
This one - New York Diary - seems to be many people's favourite, but if I had to choose I'd go with this - Malachy Wong. There are plenty of others but different things make me laugh on different days. One day it could be something as simple as seeing someone fall off a ladder and break their back, another day it's something much more lighthearted like a train crashing into a school full.

What is your writing style?
Don't know, really. I suppose regular readers might recognise a particular style but really I just sit down and spew words out. I've never really thought about how or in what way I do it.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That it's possibly the most awesome site they've ever seen and that they want to have my babies and things. I suppose the most common comment would be 'If you don't like bad language then don't read this', but who doesn't like bad language? C**ts, that's who.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
As I said above I would certainly be doing 'something else'. It would most likely involve sitting down and reading and/or drinking beer. Or wine. Or whiskey. Or rum. Nothing humanitarian though. That'd be a complete waste of everybody's time.

Why should someone visit your site?
They'll never know if it's good or shite until they do.

What did you learn from your first love?
That kissing the TV when Top of the Pops is on is not the same as kissing Debbie Harry in real life. Not that I've ever kissed her in real life but I can't imagine her face is made of glass with a cathode ray tube behind it.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, there are many. Most of the links are in my blog roll thing but to give you a few there's Fatmammycat, Scaryduck, and The Lung Brothers, who don't post nearly enough though.

How excited are you about your book deal?
Quite excited indeed. Apart from the bit about actually having to write a book. In terms of word count it's like doing 200 blog entries and making them all fit together and such is going to be a challenge. It'll keep me out of mischief though.

What constitutes a good night out for you?
Food, booze, good company, perhaps running over an orphan. But that's mostly for special nights. It'd be a bit repetitive if you did it every time you went out.

What are the best features of Dublin?
I suppose the people, the bars, the very good Guinness. We've become a lot more cosmopolitan these days, what with all the foreigners arriving and such. As the last outpost of Europe it's taken them ages to get here but now we've got all sorts and they bring their restaurants and stuff with them so there's good food too. Did you know we've got 100,000 Polish people here? That's a lot. If their influx keeps up Germany will invade Ireland first the next time they want to start a war.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I haven't done one.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Once, during a rather chemically induced state in a nightclub, I turned around and had to rub my eyes when I saw what I thought was Dennis Hopper dancing behind me, he too rather off his face. I turned back the other way convinced I was seeing things. However, I had to turn around again and it was Dennis Hopper bouncing around to house music with some young lady. Not so much funny 'haha' but funny 'what the f**k?!'. He was wearing a cravat too.

Tell us about your life before this blog.
I was a shepherd. It's a hectic life. Most people don't realise that and sheep are the most annoying c**ts on earth apart from Latvians.

Any interesting travel stories?
A couple of weeks ago I flew to London and took the tube from Heathrow into Kings Cross station.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Whilst living in sunnier climes I grew four marijuana plants which got very tall and I discovered a family of pixies living there. They had built an amazing village, fully functional in every way, and shining gloriously with good magic and love and peace. It really was amazing. 'We mean you no harm', their leader said to me, 'and we ask only that we may stay here until you must harvest your plant'.'Fair enough', I said, awestruck at their world.I lied of course and killed the f***ers when they slept. Every last one of them. They might have damaged the buds.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

If you had to f**k one of Kelly Osbourne or Sharon Osbourne which one would it be and why?

Joe Blogs : Neither, Ozzy might bite my head off.

Your Site Address : Twenty Major

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #101 Will Sean Ever Hold Down A Job?

Name : Sean Aiken
Age : 25
Location : Depends what week.
Vocation : Passion Seeker.
Philosophy : "one life, make it right"

Sum up what your blog is about.
I am on a nationwide job search travelling throughout the country accepting a different job each week.

Anyone can offer me a job for one week, the job can be anything, anywhere. My blog is about my journey. This video sums it up :

Why are you doing your blog?
I don't want to be stuck working some job that I hate doing for the rest of my life. You shouldn't do it either!

What's the funniest entry on your site?
I was filming a video about how important I was during my Week Five job and that I could now enter the "Employee Entrance." Yet as I went outside and started filming, I realized that the door had locked behind me.

What is your writing style?
Depends on what mood I am in, could be very passionate if I have had a new revelation. Those entries are fun.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Wow, that's really cool, wish I had thought about the idea.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
Probably travelling the world, maybe relaxing on some beach somewhere.

Why should someone visit your site?
See answer to question before the last;)

What did you learn from your first love?
That girls are mean. But, I got over it.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
This guy is good stuff. Just picked up a copy of his new book, and I think you should do the same. Kyle Macdonald, One Red Paperclip

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Donald Trump. To see if I could convince him to give me a One Week Job.

What would you consider to be the worst job in the world?
Anything that you hate doing.

Which job have you enjoyed the most?
Being a columnist with a daily newspaper, got a 'Media' pass to cover a Wine Tasting Festival, sampled some Hardy's wine, with the man Bill Hardy himself.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
hmm, good question, I'll get on that.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I just got into a new city last night for Week Six and am staying with somebody, I have never met before. I was really tired and for some reason within 5 minutes of being here, I starting laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing, like crying I was laughing so hard. She just stood there and watched me for about 10 minutes until I regained my composure. A little awkward.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Everything is going to be okay.

Any interesting travel stories?
Many, check out Travel Blogger. I was once on a train in the middle of Switzerland, the train stopped at a village in the country side, it was so hot outside, my friend was in the bathroom, I looked out the window and saw a sign for a delicious ice cream cone. I debated a few mintues whether I had enough time to get one and get back in time. I went for it, and as I came around the corner the train was pulling away, I had no passport, no money, no train pass, my friend didn't know that i had gotten off the train... but boy was that ice cream tasty.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I found my friend randomly 5 hours later in a central station, after many other interesting stories in between.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Joe Blogs : I want to be a billionaire tycoon, and hire and fire Donald Trump. A home in Miami would be good too with a parking space for my own jumbo jet. Failing that, taking over the Letterman Show would be good.

Visit Sean's Blog and help make poverty history.

Your Site Address : One Week Job