Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Joes View

F1 Racing driver Lewis Hamilton is dating the boss' daughter. Apparently he likes her lap dances. He must really like living in the fast lane. His boss will know about all the moves he might try.

A poet has been employed to read at Reading Station. The amount of waiting time she could read War And Peace.An arrest warrant is out for new Man City football club owner Thaksin Shinawatra. Maybe he has been playing away from home.

If Karl Rove is Bush's Brain then what is Dick Cheney?

O.J. Simpson's book If I Did It is to be published, along with JFK's If I was Shot, and Bill Clinton's What If I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Woman.

Hate sequels, I didn't like going through rush hour the first time. Too long and was going nowhere.

Baby Spice lives up to her name and has a baby.

The Bourne Rhodedendrum, Jason Bourne tries to stop a botanist from blowing up the world.
Bourne Free, Jason releases lions on heat seeking missiles.
Bourne Again, Mel Gibson to direct.
Bjorn Ultimatum, serve an ace or die.

A man has had his hand surgically whittled to be better able to use the Iphone touch screen. They should make a phone for him, the Ipodge.

An ancient forest has been discovered in Hungary, tree trunks 8 million years old. That's a lot of rings to count. More than Elizabeth Taylor has.

A girl who works in a sandwich shop overdosed on coffee. She might be one sandwich short of a picnic. I know listening to too much Ice T can be bad for your health though.

Karl Rove has stepped down. The retired neo-con helped Bush into power. Imagine Rove in a retirement home.
Karl Rove : Hell, Nurse wheres my dinner?
Nurse : It'll be ready in 45 minutes.
Karl Rove : I don't believe you. That Stevie Wonder is playing his music too loud.
Nurse : Let me plump your pillow. Settle down now.
(Rove sneaks out, enters Stevie Wonders room and turns off the record player)
Stevie Wonder : Who's that, turn my music back on.
later on...
Nurse : Did you turn off Stevie's record player?
Karl Rove : I must admit I did, it was a pre-emptive strike.
Nurse : And you shouted at Buffy The Vampire Slayer next door?
Karl Rove : Understand, its a war on Sarah Michelle Geller.