Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Insert Title Here

Premiership football clubs who have spent millions on new players have already won a title, "Hey Big Spender".

New green version of Madness song Driving In My Car, "I go driving in my car, it wiped out the jaguar."

When Gordon Brown talks I can see his lips moving but can’t take anything in that he says. Even lip readers lose interest, and start focusing on his tie. People who do sign language start playing rock, scissors and stone.

Many people lost out on insurance policies when Enron collapsed, opposition leader David Cameron knows what it’s like to have no policies.

Michael Moores documentary on the American health care systems exposes that George Clooney is not going to be your doctor.

Laura Bush : First Blair and now Brown
George Bush : What?
Laura Bush : Another special relationship, whats a girl to think?
George Bush : You worry too much, I'm just brown nosing.
Laura Bush : Well OK I wouldn't worry so much but I remember you and camp David.

Monday, July 23, 2007


Gordon Brown has one fan at least, Aretha Franklin, 'the only man who ever loved me was... the son of a preacher man.'

The British government has banned Russian diplomats, you only get out what you putin.

After the BBC faked footage of the Queen, they have decided to come clean on a number of issues, BBC spokeswoman Meg Ryan, admitted the corporation was guilty of faking it, and came clean on a number of issues, "the moon landing, JFK assassination, and Dr Who is not actually a registered Doctor." Meg Ryan has a new film out, Deceitful In Seattle.

Floods in Britain means you can go fishing for Blu-Ray DVDs.

Tony Blair proposed to Cherie in a lav, its no wonder this country has gone down the toilet. Maybe Tony thought the engaged sign on the door was a hint.

Cruise : how ya doin Becks
Beckham : good thanks, I touched down in LA
Cruise : wow u only just arrived and you scored on the soccer field
Beckham : um no..

There is not much original music around, so many covers, more than Wimbledon this year.

Anyone who asks the quickest way to a mans heart should ask the steward at the javelin throwing contest.

With talk of doping in golf, two spectators were struck. A case of roid rage? Drugs might be par for the course.

Bush has had a semicolonoscopy to sort out his grammar.