Sunday, March 11, 2007

Topical News

Hi, I’ve had some great interviews since my last post. Including with Jeffrey Archer and Iain Dale. Here's some topical news for you.

The British military has launched a Skynet Satellite into space to help it send information more quickly, at a cost of £2.6bn. Allegedly the Greeks were set to launch a dish but they smashed it on the floor.

The residents of Branscombe beach in Devon have been asked to be volunteers in a clean up operation after the Napoli container ship grounded. Removing plastic from the beach, Pamela Anderson was reportedly towed away.

There was a fight that broke out at Liz Hurley’s wedding in India, between security and the following paparazzi. So plenty of hurley burley then.

TV shows are awash with alcohol drinkers according to reports, and therefore encouraging teens to drink. Do teens need any encouraging? Shows like The OC are set to have their content changed and be called The OJ. What you need is smoothies drinking smoothies.

Author Jeanette Winterson left an unpublished novel on a tube train. Maybe she thought it could do with another line. If I found a unpublished Stephen King novel on a train, I know it’d be worth millions, but I’d have a quick read first. If Pamela Anderson left a novel on a train it would probably be Boob Tube.

A 52 year old female motorist in England, caused chaos on a train railway recently. She stopped at a train level crossing, her Sat Nav told her to turn left, and she drove onto a train track. Sometimes artificial intelligence can be very artificial. Maybe in the future Sat Nav systems will give relationship advice, move on with your life, take the road less travelled, don't forget to pick up guacamole etc.

A school kid wrote in to 10 Downing Street with suggestions on how to combat global warming. The government replied suggesting recycling and using both sides of a piece of paper was a good idea. They had sent a 2 page letter back. You could reply back but that's another bit of paper.

Quiz shows in the UK have come under the spotlight for claims of making up winners, keeping phone lines open when the competition is closed, and being downright boring. You just know the people who invented the quizzes used to cheat on Monopoly, laundering money, used a stair lift on Snakes And Ladders, spoke words in Charades, or played eye spy with my little night vision telescopic goggles.

A panda in China has lost it's limb and scientists are appealing for help on making an artificial one. My Homer Simpson soap on a rope has also lost a leg, any suggestions?

Here are some fascinating facts revealed under The Freedom Of Information Act.

The Thatcher government concocted a plan to find the Loch Ness monster using a bunch of dolphins. For what porpoise I’m not sure.

Tony Blair has spent £2000 of tax payers money on cosmetics in the last 6 years. That’s a lot of money but you could say he has many faces.

More than 300 weapons were seized from children in one year, including an improvised flame thrower. I was used to RPG(Role Play Games) when I was younger not Rocket Propelled Grenades.

And finally, the stupidest headline of the week has to be, ‘Subliminal messages do reach your brain, but you won’t know it.’