Vang Gogh's last picture before he cut his ear?

They say a picture paints a thousand words. God knows what this one is saying. Those people are so tiny. I've been enjoying the interviews recently and your questions to me. Good stuff.

Celebrity Big Brother UK, has caused controversy with alleged racism, against the Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. With a record amount of complaints, viewing figures are doing great. Tony Blair has come out denouncing the effect of the programme, for maybe the first time he is politically correct. Dirk Benedict aka Face from the A Team has not embroiled himself in any trouble, he looked red faced when he entered the Big Brother house, coming out of the A Team van. The crowd didn't mind. Goes to show you shouldn't judge someone by the colour of their Face.

Don’t forget to set your clocks forward. The Doomsday clock has moved forward a couple of minutes. The clock set up by the board of directors at the University of Chicago to determine the nucleur threat to mankind, and other human made threats to civilisation such as climate change. The closer the clock is to midnight the closer we are to nucleur disaster. A board of Atomic scientists, and 18 Nobel Laureates made their prediction today, and decided to move the clock from 23:53, to 23:55. The closest it has ever been to 12 was 2 minutes, during the height of the cold war. Jack Bauer has been put on alert. The statement was presented by Professor Steven Hawkins, author of A Brief History Of Time. How appropriate, could be very brief. Coldplay are said to have named their song ticking clocks and scientists after him. If I spent my final few minutes reading a book or listening to Coldplay, the end couldn't come soon enough.

Scientists have created a new chewing gum with the hormone, pancreatic polypeptide. It is the hormone created by the human body after every meal to prevent us overeating. It is said to be a future cure for obesity. The scientist is allegedly called Willy Wonka. I’m not sure Polypeptide will catch on like Everlasting Gobstoppers though.

I saw a headline recently saying, ‘UK rail chief tells commuters they must stand’. That’s a bit rich, I mean for how long, and if pregnant, old, etc, what then. I don’t think commuters will stand for this. The rail chief says you shouldn't expect seats during peak periods, well not surprisingly we don’t anyway. Fair enough I learned my lesson before, that I shouldn't expect platform nine and three quarters at Kings Cross station. But next he’ll be coming out saying commuters shouldn't expect trains.