Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Stories To Make The Brain Tick

HI! Welcome to my post. Some interesting interviews with fascinating people feature on my blog, check out the archives!

Some interesting news for you in this post, and some ramblings for good measure.

Britain has the most burglaries and assaults in the whole of Europe. So we are the crime capital of Europe. More unlawful entries than a Floyd Landis drugs test, and more assaults than a Kevin Federline rap album on your ears.

Mars is stopping advertising to children under 12. Nice to see some corporate responsibility. The MD of Masterfoods probably called something like The Candyman, has probably started advertising in the womb instead, playing songs like sweets for my sweet and sugar for my honey. They could also start targeting horses with sugar lumps. A Mars A Day, Work, Rest, And Neigh.

Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess Of York, has revealed in an interview that she can’t get a date because men are terrified of her. Well anyone called The Duchess is going to be high maintenance.

A Nasa Astronaut, Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles in a nappy to interrogate a love rival. She told cops she wore a nappy so she wouldn’t have to stop, wearing a nappy is normal for astronauts on long journeys. She sprayed pepper spray in her rivals face, before the victim sped off. She had latex gloves and a gun, she certainly wasn’t going 900 miles to Florida to pamper her.

Edward Hutcheson was banned from driving for 6 months for driving while shaving at 70mph. Police reportedly saw him checking himself in the mirror to see if he was having a good shave. Sounds like he had a close shave with the law. Gillette, the best 6 months in jail a man can get. Surely no ones in that much of a rush that they have to shave in the car, why not floss as well, get dressed, hell just live in the car. It’s definitely a room with a view, and you can watch Blade on the in car DVD player.

Bausch And Lomb Pure Vision eye care have undertaken a study on the beer goggle phenomenon. The idea that you find someone attractive after a few drinks was backed up with evidence. But other factors come into play such as how smoky the room is, the lighting, eyesight, and of course how much alcohol is consumed. I found a paper bag helps.

A zoo in China is looking for volunteers to live as monkeys for five days. The idea is they will have to sleep in the monkey enclosure, and beg for food from tourists. The winning volunteer does get to be titled ‘The Loving Animal Ambassador’, which you must admit is quite an honor. Or maybe not. On this topic, living in a goldfish bowl, has anyone actually done that?

How disappointed would you be if you went to a zoo, and it was a human display? You just need to step out the door to see a human. You could go to get your money back from the sloth in the kiosk, if you can’t get a refund take it higher, to the giraffe. If you don’t have any luck, pay for an eagle eyed lawyer, after seeing a loan shark. And then if the pigs won’t do anything, buy yourself a Jaguar, and explore a K-9 submarine instead.

A Malaysian Chinese couple discovered they had taken the wrong baby home from hospital 30 years afterward. One of Zulhaidi Omar’s sisters had a chance encounter with him in a supermarket, noticing his features were identical to her fathers. Phil Collins probably would have said a long time ago, “He’s no son of mine”. The couple now plan to sue the hospital. It’s quite an incredible story, it’s not like picking up the wrong take away, or taking the wrong briefcase.

I don’t normally do this but there is a job vacancy available that I thought I would point out. Good at knitting? Appreciate the female form? Go here, Knitting Breasts Job Vacancy. I supplied my CV and am awaiting word back.