Joe Blog's Interview #94 Andrew Collins

Name : Andrew Collins (Wikipedia & IMDB)
Age : 41 (42 in four days)
Location : London
Vocation : Writer, broadcaster, anything.
Philosophy : Could be worse, could be raining.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It is mainly about TV programmes, films and West End stage musicals I have seen, or books that I have read, deftly interwoven with my views on health and nutrition, current affairs and trying to get satisfaction in shops.




Why are you doing your blog?
I started it in April 2005, when I moved from doing a daily weekday radio show on BBC 6 Music to the weekend. For the benefit on my listeners I decided to start recording what I did in the week, so that we were all up to speed come Saturday.

It appeared on the 6 Music website. I stopped doing it in December 2005, as it was interfering with my actual work. Then I started it again, in a slightly less regular format, in February 2006 on my own website, so that the BBC didn't have to assure people that my views were not necessarily those of the BBC at the end of each entry.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
Comedy is subjective. What I find funny is not necessarily what other people find funny. I found this line I wrote last week about giving up buying the Guardian because its coverage of health matters made me angry quite funny: "I realise it won't even be a blip on the Guardian's circulation radar, but my life will be greatly improved and I'm hoping that peace and calm will descend upon me, as I read about the end of the world every day in the Independent." I think I found it funny because I didn't know I was going to write it until I wrote it.

What is your writing style?
I hope it's clear and concise and properly punctuated, unlike your blog, Mr Blogs. The apostrophe in "Joe Blog's blogs" should come after the "s" in "Blogs", not before the "s", unless your name is Mr Blog, and I don't think it is. I can only assume you were educated some time after the 80s, when education in this country was ruined forever. (If so, I let you off. Not your fault.)

What do people commonly say about your site?
If they are doctors, they say I am wrong about the efficacy of homeopathy. But I don't care what they think.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Writing a sitcom for BBC1, writing a one-off comedy drama for Channel 4, writing a radio sitcom for Comic Relief, or writing a novel. These are the four things I should currently be writing instead of answering these questions.

Why should someone visit your site?
If they want to find out when my next book is published, although it's May 3, so they don't need to visit the site to find that out any more. To read the blog and more importantly, join the "community".

What did you learn from your first love?
That first love is not as important as it seems at the time.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Richard Herring's is the only blog I read every single word of. He is a comic genius. I enjoy The Urban Woo because Clair, who writes it, is a journalist and punctuates properly. I will often click on the blogs of bloggers who comment on my blog.

How much time do you spend writing material, with all the different projects you have?
I start early, sometimes as early as 7am, and always finish before 7pm, with plenty of screen breaks. During those two times, I should be writing all the time, but clearly I have meetings and travel time to work in too.

If you could be in any TV series (new or old) which would it be and what character would you like to play?
I would like to be in The Wire, playing an unnamed cop in the background at a wake for a fellow officer in Kavanagh's bar, singing along to a Pogues song.

What's been the highlight of your career?
Probably winning a Sony Gold award for Collins & Maconie's Hit Parade in 1995, although it worries me that my highlight might have been 12 years ago. It suggests it's all been downhill ever since, which it hasn't. I was rather proud to finally be invited on Richard & Judy and that was only last week.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Filled my three bird feeders to the brim two days ago, so that the goldfinches, chaffinches, tits, robins and woodpeckers may feast to their hearts' content on peanuts and sunflower seeds, while the blackbirds, robins and lone pigeon may hoover up the bits that fall to the ground beneath. (Note where the apostrophe is in "hearts".)

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I once insulted Christina Ricci by mistake. It's in my next book, which is out on May 3.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Five years ago, February 2002, I was just about to start broadcasting five days a week on the about-to-be-launched 6 Music. I would have said to myself: don't move to Reigate.

Any interesting travel stories?
In 1992 I flew out to Boston with a photographer and record company representative to interview the Lemonheads, and instead of flying home from Boston, I hitched a ride on Curve's tour bus and drove to New York, then rearranged my flight and flew back from New York a few days later, on my own. It might not sound like much of an adventure, but I was 27 and it was the most spontaneous thing I'd ever done in my life.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Getting a book published about growing up in Northampton in the 1970s and seeing it go into the Sunday Times bestseller lists. I still can't believe that.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
When are you going to correct the apostrophe in "Joe Blog's"? (In some ways, I think you should keep it the way it is, and change your name.)

Joe Blogs : Where were you 94 interviews ago! I know what your saying about the apostrophe, and it obviously causes you some annoyance, me too now. When I write it like you suggest though, it just doesn't look right. Would you believe me if I said I dictate this blog to my PA Kelsey Grammer? My name is Joe Blogs, so I won't be changing that. If I change the apostrophe now, it would be a bitter pill to swallow. I might change it after I've tort my next Inglish class. I've got a good link here, The Apostrophe Game!

Aside from my grammatical faux pas, check out Andrew Collins' blog, it really is a good read, and made me chuckle. Mr Collins is an accomplished writer and broadcaster. A glance at Andrews amazing CV includes his autobiographies, 'Where Did It All Go Right?', and 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now'. Also he has his BBC 6 Music radio shows, and is the film editor for The Radio Times. This is the tip of the iceberg, you can find out all about Andrew on his blog.

By the way Andrew, Happy Birthday for March 4th, and thanks for taking time out to answer these questions.

Your Site Address : Never Knowingly Underwhelmed

Joe Blog's Interview #93 Professional Neurotic

Name : Kelley
Age : 26
Location : Richmond, Va
Vocation : Professional Neurotic
Philosophy : We're all so much more alike than different.

Sum up what your blog is about.
That's tough, because coherency is not one of my strengths. I write about what I find funny, interesting, odd or moving.

Why are you doing your blog?
Initially, I started blogging because I've never had the discipline to write on a consistent basis; I needed an audience to motivate me. I continue to blog because of the enjoyment I derive from writing, and because blogging has "introduced" me to so many interesting people. People that wouldn't make eye contact with you on the street will bare their souls on the Internet; it's kind of bizarre, but it's wonderful.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
I really, truly wanted to provide you with an answer, but I just spent the past ten minutes combing through my archives and…well, that’s tough. When I read old posts, I can’t fight the urge to mentally edit things.

What is your writing style?
Hmmm...I'm in the process of figuring it out. It runs the gamut from my usual nonsense to more serious entries like this. My favorite writers are the ones that incorporate humor without shying from weightier things; they're entertaining, but they maintain an authentic voice. When you're trying to be funny, it's so easy to dilute your voice in a persona - I find myself falling into that trap too often. So, I guess my writing style is "aspiring to be a humor writer with substance."

What do people commonly say about your site?
My mom thinks it's brilliant. My dad would award me a Pulitzer. Other than that, I'm not sure many people are talking about my blog.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
You mean like in my spare time? Like, hobbies or something? Well, I've always wanted to learn another language. I've been meaning to read more Shakespeare. Maybe I'd take a pilates class... Who am I kidding? If I wasn't blogging, I'd be watching TV or playing around on the Internet. Maybe eating.

Why should someone visit your site?
This is why I hated dating and job interviews: I'm no good at selling myself. Um, let me think... I'm a team player, I work well with others, and I'm super punctual.

What did you learn from your first love?
I learned not to cling too tightly.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Absolutely! I have a short blog roll on my site, but I visit many more. I probably read dozens of blogs every day, but it's not, like, a problem or anything. I can quit any time I choose...

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party, who would it be and why?
Oh man, that's a tantalizing proposition. I'd invite a handful of feuding young celebrities. All of the former US presidents. Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Oprah. Paula Deen. Courtney Love. Yo-Yo Ma, Daniel Barenboim, Brandon Flowers. Dave Barry. Gloria Steinem. Criss Angel. Things would probably get very interesting, but I'd have enough tequila on hand to ensure it.

Why those people? Just seems like a nice crowd.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Unfair question - there are so many great websites! But if I had to choose one... I think Post Secret is brilliant. It’s moving to get a glimpse of the invisible side of people.

Tell us about your pet dog.
Pollock! She's my baby. We adopted her from a shelter about three years ago. She's full of personality, extremely clever, and the best cuddler of all time. (I admit it: we spoon.) I named her after the artist, Jackson Pollock, because her coloring resembles a splatter painting. She's very pretentious for a shelter dog.

What has rained on your tirade recently?
You know how sometimes individually packaged foods will list the serving size as 2? Then they list the caloric content as half of what it really is, hoping you'll overlook the serving size. That's just criminal.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently?
I've been sitting here for five minutes, and I can't think of anything I've done recently that would truly qualify as a "good deed." I guess I need to work on that. I always smile at babies, and I tip generously.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
My husband and I were riding in our building's elevator with our dog the other day, and a man and a woman got into the elevator when it stopped on another floor. Our shy little dog took one look at the strangers and scurried to the back of the elevator. "That's a cute little dog," the woman said.

"Thanks," replied my husband. "She was a rescue. As you can probably tell, she used to be a pit fighter."

The woman's eyes widened. "Awwww, really?"

What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
Five years ago I was in my third year of college, doing my best to do as little as possible to get decent grades. I would shake that girl by the shoulders and tell her to stop wasting all of the time and opportunities. Also, I would tell her to tone down the eye make-up.

Any interesting travel stories?
About a year and a half ago, my parents invited my husband and I to travel with them to Marathon, Texas (it’s a tiny town in far West Texas, near Big Bend). That was an amazing experience; it’s so remote and serene there. It feels removed from the modern world; javelina roam the landscape and giant tumbleweeds roll down the highway. (You can see a few photos here)

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
That’s a tough one, but if I’m really honest about the one thing that determined the quality of my life, I would have to say that it was being born into great circumstances. Not that I was born into wealth or prominence or anything (ha!), but I came into this world with a healthy body, a wonderful family, and a safe and happy home. I’ve had a lot of things just handed to me; I’ve never had to struggle for my security.

I guess that’s kind of a boring answer, though. Once, in college, I got drunk and scaled a water tower for a better view of the stars. That was pretty awesome.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like

What was your favorite Halloween costume?

Joe Blogs : I was never into Halloween in a big way. I guess if I was to do it now, the Scream mask would be quite cool, or Lurch from the Adams Family.

Site Address : Rain On My Tirade

Hello Chums

Since my last post, we’ve had great interviews, including with a New Zealand entrepreneur, Mr Jack Yan. Also Attylah The Hen, Archbishop Cranmer, and comedian Richard Herring among others. Some have compared me to a digital version of David Letterman, none have been able to corroberate this statement though. So please take a seat.

Just a few things that have been on my radar recently.

In the news Britney has gone bald and is suffering a very public breakdown. Not as bad as when your tyres are bald and you break down in a car in the middle of a traffic jam I imagine. Now I’m not comparing Britney to an old banger. I’ve often thought how terrible it would be if my car conked out in rush hour. I guess I would call the rescue service if I was paying for one. But instead I guess I’d have to get out of the car and make a vain attempt to fix it. Open the bonnet, conduct an orchestra with the dipstick, stroke my chin, do a dance routine in the smoke, anything but actually be able to fix the car. How embarrassing would it be if a woman stopped to help me.

I think I know the reason for Britney’s recent madness. I saw a headline ‘Chimpanzees Hunt Using Spears’. It is not known if she has any choice. The monkeys make Britney chase wild boar pigs, and pick bananas. Personally I shop with Macy's, William H. Macy that is, he's quite cheap for a Hollywood star, though he does have expensive tastes.

Half of teachers in Britain have been physically assaulted, and 90% verbally abused, according to a new survey. You’d think that would mean kids are good at physical education and oral communication. The problem is kids are doing the wrong kind of lines. Kids nowadays are really good at answering back, except in maths tests.

Hospital medics could be about to stop using the traditional bedside notes, in favour of hand held PC’s. Hugh Heffner probably keeps bedside notes on nurses.

The British Ministry Of Defense tested people to see if they had real psychic ability. In new information released under the Freedom Of Information Act. They came to the conclusion it wouldn’t be much use in the defense of the nation. I could have told them that. Maybe they should do a new study to see if pigs can fly, walls can talk, or if the Pope is catholic.

Hugh Grant was handcuffed by a female fan at the premiere of his new movie Music & Lyrics, which also stars Drew Barrymore. Grant was freed by firemen and the psycho fan was then arrested. He carried on with the premiere, Drew Barrymore probably advised him to phone home. Thinking about it I wouldn’t mind being cuffed to Angelina Jolie and Shakira, but not in those circumstances. I mean what can you say to some stranger that chains themselves to you apart from “What the f…” I certainly wouldn’t want to be chained to Prince Harry going to Iraq, or a peckish Hannibal Lecter.

Helen Mirren won the best actress Oscar. It's no surprise with all the promotional material I've seen. They must have spent millions promoting the movie, every time I pay for something in the shop, or post a letter. It's in your face. I don't like this agressive marketing, in fact all I can think about is the Queen movie. Forest Whittaker won best actor but you don't see stamps and mugs with his face on do you?


Hope you enjoy the interviews, and thanks for your comments.

Joe Blog's Interview #92 Comedian Richard Herring

Name : Richard Herring (Wikipedia, & IMDB)
Age : 39
Location : London UK
Vocation : Writer and comedian.
Philosophy : My enemy's enemy is my friend. Unfortunately my enemy is his own worst enemy, so I have to invite him to barbecues, which is quite annoying.

Sum up what your blog is about.
I basically try to take one incident from the day and write about it in a humorous way. I find the smaller the incident, the funnier it tends to be. It's mainly about my own stupidity, paranoia and wasted life




Why are you doing your blog?
The initial idea was that it would be an attempt to write for half an hour in the morning to warm up for the proper work I had to do. I also wanted to record the minutia of life that so often gets forgotten. As it turns out it's often the only thing I write in the day, but it has been a brilliant way to generate material and actually led to me getting back into stand up. Most of the material in my last two shows originated in the blog.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
This is the one of my favourites - (click here) and probably sums up the ethos of the blog more than any other. It also went on to form the cornerstone of my 2005 stand up show. It's something that I would never have considered for stand up if it hadn't been for the blog and that I would never have written down.

What is your writing style?
Not for me to say.

What do people commonly say about your site?
It generally seems to amuse and impress people, though seems to infuriate about one in a thousand people who perhaps take me a little seriously.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I would be wasting the time in some less productive manner.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because they want to.

What did you learn from your first love?
This question seems out of place.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Emma Kennedy's is quite good despite being a copy of mine. Andrew Collings does a good one.

They say comedy acting is the hardest, do you agree?
The hardest thing ever? Probably not. The hardest kind of acting? Not for me. Serious acting is pretty difficult. Being funny is much easier for me. But acting is much harder than it looks.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Kurt Vonnegut is the greatest living writer and I would love to listen to him talking for an evening.

What website would you recommend and why?
Not BBC is an entertaining forum for debates about comedy.

How do you deal with a heckler in the audience?
In many different ways. Too detailed to go into here. But basically they are almost certainly less funny and more drunk and more stupid than me, so it's a matter of answering quickly and wittily, without losing your temper.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I have helped to destroy the environment with my selfish use of natural resources, thus hastening the destruction of the human race, which is a blight and a cancer that must be wiped out for the sake of the rest of the planet.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Go to my website. There's four years worth on there.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
This question does not quite make sense. What advice would I now give the me of five years ago? With the benefit of hindsight? Is that what you mean? I would have advised me to stop wasting so much time and do more work and I am sure the me of 5 years time would offer the same advice to the me of now. I wouldn't want to change any of the mistakes I have made. They have all been instructive and you kind of have to live through the rubbish stuff because just having someone telling you about it is not enough.

Any interesting travel stories?
Here's one, click here

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Beating the other 600 million sperm to make it to the egg.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's the point?

Joe Blogs : Quite a blunt question I must say! Granted, I did say ask any question. Man, your one opportunity to ask me a question and you blew it! I'm confused how to answer, you did say 'What's the point?', I don't know whether to refer you to the Samaritans helpline, or a cartographer. F1 Driver Jenson Button would also like to know what a point is as well I imagine.

What is the point in it all, maybe my readers can enlighten us? Or better still visit comedy legend Richard Herring's Blog, Warming Up, whose work includes Stand Up shows 'Talking Cock' and 'Someone Likes Yoghurt', also writing credits include Lee & Herring, Time Gentlemen Please, & Script Editor on 3rd Series of Little Britain to name but a few.


Your Site Address : Richard Herring's Warming Up

Joe Blog's Interview #90 Author Zoe McCarthy

Name : Zed
Age : One never asks a woman's age.
Location : Bugum.
Vocation : Officer Manager (for the next five minutes, or so ...)
Philosophy : /"L'Enfer, c'est les autres." /(Sartre)

Sum up what your blog is about.
A mixture of the Osbournes and AbFab - a single mother trying to cope with 3.2 children.

Why are you doing your blog?
Writing it.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
I can't remember, but there is one. Probably by a Guest-Blogger. Ooops.

What is your writing style?
I try to be funny, but I'm not, so it's probably shite.

What do people commonly say about your site?
"What's a 'twat' ?" Sigh.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Something else.

Why should someone visit your site?
Now that HAS to be the most stupid question asked ever. EVER.

What did you learn from your first love?
The word 'wow'.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes.

Why are you with your boyfriend, if he is as you say a twat?
I love him all the more for being a twat. It makes him all the more different from the other boyfriends that I have had and he doesn't mind the term of endearment.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Johnny Depp, simply for his good looks, Kiefer Sutherland, as he'd keep me safe and sound until he gets kidnapped yet again, Helen Mirren, to know what it takes to be such a good actress, Heather Mills, to know what it's like to be in a lawsuit against a Beatle, Margaret Thatcher, as she wouldn't last long at the table (thank god) and Richard Branson, to know the secret of his success.

What one website would you recommend and why?
That is an unfair question.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I haven't.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Too long to tell - read my book instead.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Leave your job.

Any interesting travel stories?
Yes.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Well, where do I start ? Given birth to twins - forgetting that, there was another one ?

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Where did you last have sex and with whom?

Joe Blogs : Not telling.

Your Site Address : My Boyfriend Is A Twat

Joe Blog's Interview #89 Anjali Speaks

Name : Anjali
Age : I stopped counting after I hit 21. That was only last year.
Location : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Vocation : Advertising
Philosophy : Life is short – live it fully and have no regrets.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It’s a platform for me to express myself. To tell my my life stories; be it my thoughts, my emotions and my travelogues. To leave bite-size pieces of me before I leave this world.

Why are you doing your blog?
I had initially started writing short stories about myself and saved them in my computer. One fine day, I shared some with a friend and she advised me to post them on a blog. “You write good s**t”, she said. The rest as they say is history. What’s the funniest entry on your blog? I think there were a few wicked-humoured ones, but if I have to choose one, I’d most probably choose this one called ‘Save me from this misery’. It still makes me laugh when I have a bad day at work.

What is your writing style?
I prefer it to be conversational; like talking to your best buddy. It’s more sincere that way. I can look back at all the foolish things I’ve done and laugh about them aloud, without fearing what others think. I take myself less seriously on my blog.

What do people commonly say about your site?
People liked my wicked humour with a touch of sarcasm. And the blog attracts the same breed of people, so that’s great actually. Most also like my travel photographs.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
The same thing I do outside of my blogging hours – work, read, cook, being a slave to my cat, daydream and travel a bit. I have a life besides blogging, y’know.

Why should someone visit your site?
Simply because they should. Heh.

What did you learn from your first love?
Two things – (i) It’s important to love yourself first. (ii) No man can love you as much as God and your pet. There was a quote I read once which says, “If you want loyalty, get a dog.” A cat who thinks he is a dog works just as well too; like my Smokey. *wink*

Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?
Definitely reality - women are too kind for that kind of destruction.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I really loved Tequilamockingbird, but she has stopped writing. Now, my current favourites are PostSecret and Karen Cheng’s Snippets Of Life.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Oooh that’s easy. I would love…no, lust actually, to invite His Purple Highness Prince. He is obviously the sexiest man alive. He will be my dinner and we will party like it’s 1999.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I would recommend PostSecret, because it is real. At most times, amid all those secrets, you find one [sometimes a few] that reflects exactly how you feel. And that’s awesomely powerful and equally freaky at the same time.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I remember this scene in ‘Monk’, whereby a girl was irritating monk with the riddle - Pete and Repeat are sitting in a boat. Pete fell of, so who’s left in the boat? Obviously the answer is Repeat. So the riddle became an endless annoyance.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
None really. I am what I am now because of what I’ve gone through.

Any interesting travel stories?
When I travel, I love to bargain and squeeze the traders dry. When they agree to the price I asked for, I negotiated further discount. I realized I pushed the limit a little too much when one Indian trader in Jaipur snapped at me, “Madame, you not only chop my hands, my legs and my head, you also throw my head outside of my shop! Your price, madame, NOTPOSSIBLE!”

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Many years ago, one rainy morning, after avoiding church for 2 months because I blamed God for my breakup, I finally dragged myself out of bed and drove myself to church. I asked God to heed my sign to prove that He will sail through the pain with me. The sign in specific – after the worship and before the sermon, I wanted the pastor to call me out. Just me alone. After the worship, the pastor walked toward the pulpit and pulled out a note from his bible and read aloud, “Will the car owner of XXX1234 come out and attend to your car coz your headlights are on.” I froze at my chair. That was my car plate number. So God is truly alive!

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
If you can be a superhero, which one would you choose and why?

Joe Blogs : I'd choose Superman. I like his range of powers, strength, speed, flight, able to freeze, and heat things. Batman has no powers just gadgets. I like the idea of saving people. And the cape of course. I'd have to listen to the Superman music By John Williams to gee me up, great theme music.

Your Site Address : Anjali Speaks

Joe Blog's Interview #88 A Norfolk Village

Name : JonnyB
Age : Under 40
Location : Norfolk, UK
Vocation : Ummmm... well I just sort of f**k about a bit, doing little bits of work and looking after a Baby.
Philosophy : I try to get through each day without causing a single death.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Through the life of a small Norfolk village we learn universal truths about mankind.

Why are you doing your blog?
It's 'what I do' now. I'm not sure how I got myself into this state. Originally it was a way to get in front of an audience. Now I'm pathetically desperate that the audience doesn't leave the auditorium. I've sealed the exits, and am nailing bits of wood across them at odd angles.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
This one, click here, sort of sums everything up about my life that you will ever need to know. I like it.

What is your writing style?
"A cross between Henry Root and Mr Pooter" - the Independent on Sunday. Not sure about the Henry Root bit. There is probably a bit of Molesworth in there, and stuff from other English comedic people. People like the Goodies, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring have always been influences - you can be childish and intelligent at the same time and that appeals to me. Richard Herring has a great blog.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I haven't a clue. I only know the bits they say to my face. Someone called it 'shallow' once, which I understood - it's about little tiny things and has jokes, rather than developing deep explorations of the human condition. People seem to find it funny, which is wonderful and great.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd probably be doing more stuff that, like, paid money.

Why should someone visit your site?
I'd hate for them to feel left out. Boom boom.

What did you learn from your first love?
It's better to open your mouth when you kiss. Or at the very least have the same sort of technique as the other party. If neither of you likes opening your mouth then that's fine.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Lots of them!!! If you want 'funny ones', Little Red Boat, and Non-workingmonkey are terrific writers. And Smaller than Life is brilliant - by a genuine comedy writer at the top of his game. And a mate. But I'd recommend him anyway. Honest.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Probably the characters from the pre-school cartoon 'Maisie'. They just all seem so good-natured and helpful, especially the crocodile, whose name is Charlie. And Nelson Mandela.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I am buying loads of things off the ebay recently. It is great!!! Call me an early-adopter if you will, but it will be massive.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I just went over the road because the burglar alarm was going off. I thought I might confront some burglars on behalf of my neighbours. But there was just a confused cleaning lady.

What's the best and worst aspects of the Norfolk village?
The best is the short walk to the Village Pub under totally dark starry skies. Dark is brilliant. The worst is the 30-mile round trip for a curry. If any Bangladeshi restauranteurs are reading this and thinking of expanding the business, please get in touch. NB no neon signs please (see previous 'dark' comment).

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I once had to stay late in the office to let in Jerry Dammers from the Specials - this was years ago. He wanted to use an Apple Mac, and I'd offered to help via a friend of a friend. I'm always rubbish in the presence of celebrities and was a bit star struck as I let him in and showed him how to use the computer. I really didn't know what to do at that point - I had to stay there like a lemon whilst he worked. I found myself being all 'forced casual', and actually started whistling nonchalantly. He was looking at me really oddly. It was ages before I realised that my nonchalant whistling was actually 'Ghost Town'. That story probably only makes sense if you are a Specials fan.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Probably get everything that you ever ever ever want to do in your life out of the way before you have a baby to look after.

Any interesting travel stories?
I went into Fakenham the other day. There is an Argos there now!!! It's exciting.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
There have been a million incredible things. I have been very lucky on the incredible thing front. I can't think of one particularly incredible thing to pick from the mountains of incredible things. Through a combination of them I have met some interesting people and done some interesting work and I didn't end up stacking shelves in Somerfield. That's pretty incredible. And we won the bowls league last year, and I got a trophy. Me!!! A trophy!!!

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
I really struggle at the difference between 'practice' and 'practise'. I know all the theory, but I have this complete blind spot. Anything you can do to help?

Joe Blogs : I can't help you. One is spelt correctly, the other is not. If you have a blind spot, practice makes perfect. Well that is the theory. By the way Jonny, be good!

Your Site Address : Jonny B's Private Secret Diary

Joe Blog's Interview #87 Shaolin Tiger

Name : Shaolin
Age : Less than 30 (just)
Location : Malaysia
Vocation : Hacker
Philosophy : Free Thinker

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's mostly about me, me and more me. But I also cover other more boring stuff like food/cooking, photography, travel, SCUBA diving, cars, movies, literature, politics and some other deep stuff like blog wars!

Why are you doing your blog?
I started it because I was moving away from UK to Malaysia and I wanted to keep a lot of what I was doing plus let the people back home know where I was in the world and what I'd been up to, rather that writing loads of mass e-mails they could just check out my site and see the pictures.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Definitely this one, The Hair Down There

What is your writing style?
Witty, scathing, sarcastic, egotistical, critical and very British so I've been told.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Most commonly is that it makes them hungry, or makes them want to travel somewhere, or makes them want to beat me up..

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
That's an odd question, probably spending more time on Flickr admiring my own pictures or writing on my photoblog.

Why should someone visit your site?
To read my great writing and to see my awesome pictures (you might learn something too..)

What did you learn from your first love?
That love can be sweet, and sour. Most of all, relationships are not easy.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Loads, more than I can list. I most commonly read my friends blogs, plus a few other international blogs which are great. All those I read every day can be found in my right sidebar under the header "Those I Stalk"

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Bruce Lee, to see if I could kick his ass or not.

What one website would you recommend and why?
To avoid all the cliche blogs (Waiter Rant, Post Secret, & Clublife) I'd like to recommend my friends blog, he writes very well, has a great passion for motorbikes (amongst other things) and has had a very interesting life. You can find him at Hunting The Snark

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I bought my Mom 2 pairs of new shoes!

How do you find Malaysia?
I love Malaysia, I've been here about 3 years now. It's an amazing place for food lovers, travel lovers and people who like varied cultures. It's a melting pot of different races, languages, religions, cultures and personalities. There are brilliant places within an hours flight too like the beaches of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. I recommend everyone to visit Malaysia (and look me up if you like).

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A while ago I was in my previous office block going out for lunch, I got in the lift to go down, and was bored whilst waiting...picking up people at various floors. So I looked around the lift and started to read the notices posted on the wall, I saw one for lost and found. Which is fairly normal right? Until I noticed someone had 'lost' a photocopier, I mean how the hell do you do that? "

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Don't be such an asshole, you don't know everything.

Any interesting travel stories?
Oh plenty, but better you read those travel stories, on my blog, they are kinda long :)

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I found a girl that can actually put up with me!

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
How did you find my blog? Do you read it regularly?

Joe Blogs : I found your blog in the dictionary under greatness. Whenever I'm in a geeky Kung Fu mood I check it out. I read it as religiously as a Shaolin monk.

Your Site Address : ShaolinTiger - Kung-fu Geekery

Joe Blog's Interview #86 Jack At The Top Of The Beanstalk!

Name : Jack Yan (IMDB & Wikipedia profiles!)
Age : 34
Location : Wellington, New Zealand
Vocation : CEO, Jack Yan & Associates
Philosophy : Confucianist.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's mainly a business blog on branding, leadership and the media, but like all TV shows that go on for too long, I start talking about the characters—in this case, me.

Why are you doing your blog?
Originally, to vent. There are more nutters on the planet than sane people. Now, I just do it as a way to chill out. Call it contributory escapism.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
I began keeping a personal blog, separate from the non-work one, and I would say these got some good feedback, Theories On The Disappearance Of Chuck Cunningham, & Business Idea. I am probably funnier in comments.

What is your writing style?
Probably “honest” with a dose of humility. More Cosby Show than Benson. More Sam Tyler than Gene Hunt. More Bodie than Doyle. Dad hates Martin Shaw. I should mention that.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Most of the feedback I get is positive, but to others, I am one of those nutters that folks write about on their blogs.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
I'd be going around the world pretending to be Richard Bradford in Man in a Suitcase. Which probably means I'd be hanging around Elstree Studios pretending I was going around the world. Come to think of it, I'd rather blog.

Why should someone visit your site?
To know that there are weirder people than them.

What did you learn from your first love?
I'm still learning from her.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Quite a few. Off the top of my head, Mark Allen's one is quite fun if you want to chill out. It's a dose of life from a mad Australian student. He may be the only bastard weirder than me. Speaking of weird, check out George W. Bush

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Lee Kuan Yew. That guy is smart. Maybe Sir John Major. That guy is smart. And Cmdr. Straker from UFO. Whaaaat? He's fictional? Damn. Obviously, on those counts, there are numerous politicians who would never get on my guest list.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I'd recommend any of mine, so my traffic and earnings from it can go up. Visit Lucire!

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Gave a guy on welfare some tips on how to start his own business. That man is now Sir Richard Branson. OK, he isn't. But if he becomes a greeting-card tycoon, I am hitting that boy up for a loan.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
We were at a Japanese restaurant once but we had a Chinese waitress. I said to her, 'So, are there real Japanese chefs back there?' She said there were. 'Out of curiosity, do you ever chat about, oooh, let's see, randomly, history? And do you ever cover the period from, let's say, oooh, 1933 to 1945?' Diplomatically, she didn't answer and tried to get through the order, but someone kept bringing up the war. If the waitress was Japanese, I suppose we would have got to, 'You started it.' 'No, you started it, you invaded Manchuria!' A chap called John Cleese once adapted my story for one of his sitcoms. I forget which one.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Don't be too guilty about going out with a girl in her late teens when you hit 30, because you've got the excuse that she looked a bit older.

What is the key to business success?
Being yourself and getting rid of all your negative influences.

Any interesting travel stories?
I slept on the couch at a student flat in Germany once. (One of the students was returning a favour.) The thing was, everyone in that flat had either been to New Zealand, or was at the time in New Zealand. So, here I was, in Germany, where there are posters of Lake Tekapo and all of New Zealand all over the place. And student flats all over the western world look the same (wallpaper from The Sweeney, 60 W bulbs lighting the place). It was just mind-boggling. I'm sure there were moments I didn't know whether I was on Aro Street in Wellington or in the BRD.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Falling in love, and that a girl can have all the qualities I've looked for.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Is Grandpa Blog's blog still around?

Joe Blogs : No, the hieroglyphics wasn't working out for him. Only mummy could read it.

Your Site Address : Jack Yan

Joe Blog's Interview #85 Kite Flyer Cassie!

Name : Cassie
Age : 24
Location : Austin, TX
Vocation : Kite guru and advisor of tethered aviation (...I sell kites, OK?)
Philosophy : Life is short, try to catch as much as you can!

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's kind of a journal, kind of a photo log. It's a place to put my thoughts.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because I needed my own little corner of the web to put my thoughts. I like having people leave me comments with their thoughts, and it gives me a spot to talk about the pictures that I take. 99% of the times, it's the pictures that spur my thoughts in posts.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
At&T Can Kiss My... It's kind of a sarcastically funny post. It covers a series of conversations with the idiots at AT&T.

What is your writing style?
Stream of thought. I generally write a post off the top of my head, proof it, and then after I post it I double check for formatting stuff. I don't do the "Oh, an idea! Write a little and save a draft!" thing. That requires too much planning.

How much would you sell your blog for?
100 million dollars. No, really, I don't think my blog is worth much to anyone but me. So, I don't think I would sell it... no point really. But, if you REALLY wanted to buy it, let me know. We can work out something.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That they love my pictures and stories about the travel I've been on recently.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because I'm f-in RAD. And really, I have some crazy s**t go down in my life, if anything you can read about lingerie parties (coming soon, the party is this weekend) and Mexican Martini nights, because that's how we entertain ourselves in Austin. And other times, you can read my sarcastic thoughts on life and work and human rights. Whee.

What did you learn from your first love?
Not to trust men. (Or really, not to trust him. Asshole dumped me on my Birthday. My BIRTHDAY for gods sake. Who DOES that? Which reminds me of a topic for a future post.) But really, he completely destroyed a lot of my confidence. It took me years to not be afraid of being hurt again.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Too many to count. Check out my links, or email me. I'll send you a complete list of my blogs bookmarks. There's probably about 50 that I've got bookmarked, and I check them all at least once a month.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Well, first off, I'd invite your mom because I heard she's QUITE the hottie. Other than that? It depends on who is footing the bill. Because, if some unknown millionaire wants to host a dinner party on my behalf, I'd probably invite everyone I know. There's so many people all over the country that I've lost touch with because I have a habit of moving 2000 miles away every few years. As a result, there's probably about 50 people specifically (and people that they'll remind me that I forgot) that I'd love to bring together. But in reality, I've had a plan for years that when I'm independently wealthy (HA) I'll buy and island and import everyone I know (and like) there. That way we can grow some corn or something and have a good old time without having to pay airfare to visit each other. Sound good? Someday, it will happen and at that point you better hope you made it onto the list! Because, really now. Who wouldn't want to live on an island with a bunch of people that only I knew in advance?

What one website would you recommend and why?
Jason Mulgrew That's the one blog that I read religiously and it cracks me up pretty seriously. I'm kind of mad at him right now though... he hasn't posted for like a week.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
My cat and kitten are completely in love with each other and as a result always do everything together. I mean, they even walk through my apartment next to each other and stop at the same places to check stuff out. The other night, I cleaned out the litter box, and then watched them both go into the closet (where I keep the box) together and supervise bathroom time for each other (seeing if everything came out alright). One was using the box itself while the other was sitting on the empty litter container next to the box. Then they switched places. I couldn't stop laughing. My cats are such freaks, but I love them.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
"Honey, don't worry about the music school. It'll be OK. Go take some interesting classes. Oh, and when dad suggests to get a job in a kite shop this coming summer, you may want to carefully consider that option. Because in 5 years (seriously, its been 5 years) you may wonder what happened and how you got to this point in life."

Any interesting travel stories?
Too many to start! I travel probably 6 - 8 times a year, normally for kite events. Kite events are stories all of their own. I'm generally the youngest person there is who is in the "industry", not to mention the youngest non-married woman by at least 10 years. Oh lord, some of those old kite dudes get kind of weird (think burnt out hippie who is obsessed with making things fly and gets side tracked by that 'nice young lady'). But, it's so much fun. Plus, the road trips! I have a habit of driving straight through rather than stopping for a night, as a result I know that 18 hours is my breaking point for how many hours I can be in the car without losing it. How many people that you know have been on enough long drives to know that 18 hours is their breaking point?

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I've had some very lucky times. To pinpoint one would be almost impossible. There was this time that I got high with a roommate in college and went to a campus BBQ for free food. They were having a drawing for everyone who showed up and I ended up winning a DVD player. S**t, I thought the food was the prize that day! That DVD player just finally died a few months ago. Now I use my X-box.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Cheesy response, or serious? Because the cheesy response would be World Peace, but I mean it too. I'd LOVE to see the world in a situation where violence wasn't the immediate response. But, for real? All I could ask for is the means to be financially stable for the rest of my life. I don't need a ton of money, but I hate it when I wonder whether or not I can afford to go to the doctor or take my boyfriend out on a date once in a while. I hate feeling broke all the time.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What was the first CD you bought?

Joe Blogs : I think it was 'I Shot The Sherrif' by Warren G. Closely followed by the reggae band Aswad. I must have been going through some weird adolescent phase!

Your Site Address : Eye Speak Photography

Joe Blog's Interview With Sharp Shooter #84

Name : Wyatt Earp
Age : 37 (Old Coot)
Location : Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Vocation : Big City Police Detective
Philosophy : Yell loudly and carry a big gun!

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's about 1,300 posts. Heh. Actually, I once described it as Rants And Ravings From A Philadelphia Police Detective. I post about everything from crime, to entertainment, to posts about fluffy little clouds.

Why are you doing your blog?
Well, if I didn't, I'd be sitting a top a clock tower with a sniper rifle. It's stress relief, and since I was Editor-in-Chief of my high school and university newspapers, it's something I love to do.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Every post is funny, damnit! Actually, since I am my own worst critic, I would let my readers be the judge of that. However, my recent post about Snow in Philly got some pretty good reviews.

What is your writing style?
I would describe it as a hodge-podge of snark and sarcasm, with sparse helpings of comedy.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I once asked my readers to give testimonials. Almost every one was filled with sarcasm and bile. I was so proud that I posted them in my sidebar for everyone to enjoy.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
As my wife is constantly telling me, I would be spending more time with my family. I stopped my first blog in early 2005. Six months later, I came crawling back. Blogging is addictive; like literary crack.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because I am the law, and I said so!!! Heh. Actually, I would suggest that people stop by, read a few selected posts, and decide for themselves. SYLG is not for everyone, but I have earned 77,000 hits since June 2005, so someone must like what I'm doing here.

What did you learn from your first love?
It is MUCH easier to meet girls when they approach you first. My first love (Tara) asked me to dance with her at a high school social. Whew! No pressure there.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
I visit those in my sidebar at least once a week, and love them all. I am lucky enough to be a contributor at Blogs4Bauer, and its popularity is amazing. I also like First In!, Fmragtops, Pay Heed to the Geek, and What Panda?

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
No contest : Theodore Roosevelt. In my opinion, he was the greatest President in American history. Police Commissioner of NYC, Nobel Peace Prize winner,Conservationalist,Teddy did it all.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I love IMDB. For a movie maniac like myself, it is the one-stop-shop for all things Hollywood. And it is a terrific database for those obscure movie quotes.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I saved a beached whale by removing a golf ball from its blowhole. Oh, that was a George Costanza good deed. A few days ago, Philly received a few inches of snow during a winter storm. My neighbors are elderly, and the missus and I shoveled their sidewalks. It would have been easier on the back if we had a snow blower, but what are ya gonna do?

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
It's a police story, so it is chock full of sardonic humor, but here is one from a previous post : Are you having trouble with the BMV? Are you perilously close to having your license suspended? Do you run red lights with impunity? Well, fear not, the Philadelphia Police Department is ready to help. One of the more common reports my detective division is receiving involves identity fraud. Of course, in the crud hole that is my division, the toads are taking this one step further. These jackasses are reporting the following : Someone is using my identity when they are getting pulled over, and now I am getting the traffic citations! Right. Strangely enough, some portly detective is running around town saying he is me, when in actuality, the real me weighs about 120 pounds. The trouble is that the officers are taking these reports seriously. Can you imagine? Hell, anyone can say that someone else is using their name and address when they get pulled over. I mean, who's going to be able to prove otherwise? Would you like to know why detectives rarely have the time to investigate crimes more fully? It is because we have to deal with nonsense like this.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Sleep with Anna Nicole Smith post haste! Her ovaries pave the road to riches.

Any interesting travel stories?
Except for a few jaunts to Canada with my parents, I have never been outside the States. My friends are going to the Davos Ice Hockey Tournament in Switzerland this December, but forces outside my control (read: the wife) won't allow me to go. Dang.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I was in an auto accident with the then-Miss America. Really.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Is English food as bad as I think?

Joe Blogs : A lot of the food commonly eaten is processed and uninteresting. There are some great dishes such as bangers and mash, toad in the hole, and of course the world famous English Breakfast. The hot desserts are great, sticky toffee pudding, apple pie and custard etc. There is a lot of choice available though, Chinese, Indian, Pizza restaurants etc.

Your Site Address : Sharp Shooters

Joe Blog's Interview #83 Buckley's Blog

Name : Julia Buckley

Age : 30

Location : London

Vocation : Rock Star – unfortunately this has so far been thwarted by the fact that I am unable to sing or play any musical instrument, but it is only a matter of time until I am discovered.
Philosophy : Take a chance, while you’ve still got a choice.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Me, me, me, and me. And cake.

Why are you doing your blog?
Attention seeking. Displacement activity because I’m too weirdly scared to work on my novel. Because I work from home and have no one to talk to. And a host of other psychologically healthy reasons.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
That’s a tough one. I think it’s hard to pick out what’s funniest of your stuff – that’s for other people to decide really.

My favourite posts are the ones that are funny but have a bit of a message to them as well. The Crumblies of Today, was a recent one about how older people are laying into young people because they’re not the way they were when they were kids. I tried to point out that older people are not the way their parents generation were when they were their age either – the world’s changed and so has everyone in it. Hopefully that came across as well as the humour.

What is your writing style?
I just say it like I see.

What do people commonly say about your site?
The other week someone said my blog persona is a bit like Alice from the Vicar of Dibley. I had hoped I sounded a bit sharper than that. There is irony in there if you look for it, honest.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Being much more productive and probably earning more money.

Why should someone visit your site?
I dunno – because they feel sorry for me maybe?

What did you learn from your first love?
Teenage boys smell a bit funny and don’t kiss very well.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
No. Only mine… Of course, loads. Too many to list here, check out my blogroll.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
God, a dinner party? Um, some supermodels I suppose – because I don’t cook. I’m thinking they’d probably be happy with a few crumbs, or some bird seed, or dust, or something.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I love Stuff On My Cat It just cracks me up. I probably find it a lot more funny than it actually is though. I’m like that sometimes.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Not invited any supermodels to a dinner party.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
People pay me to write. Ha! And I don’t even mind doing it. In fact, I really quite like it. Fools.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Learn to play guitar and join a rock band. Either that or become a spy. Also, I would tell myself all the lottery numbers so that I would know that my numbers were wrong and so I shouldn’t bother playing - thus saving a clear £1 each week. Just think, I would have £260 by now!

Any interesting travel stories?
Err, not really. My holidays mostly involve walking, and reading (because I am so rock). I made a pilgrimage to Woburn Abbey last summer though - see my post on, Tea Lovers Heroine.

Any writing tips?
Just be yourself for goodness sake. I find all the poncey-ness surrounding writing really annoying. It’s not some kind of mystical magical gift-from-the-gods, it’s just communication. And good writing is about good communication, so write so people can understand you – not to impress.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Ah, well that has to be the time when I was looking for a pen in my handbag and I couldn’t find one, but during my fumblings I discovered a Malteaser – what a chocolate-covered-honeycomb bonus that was.

Your Site Address : Buckley On The Blog

Joe Blog's Interview #82 Thriller In Manila

Name : Lizza
Age : Turning 36 very, very soon
Location : Manila, Philippines
Vocation : I write
Philosophy : It's a toss-up between Dum spiro spero and In vino beer veritas.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's just my thoughts about anything and nothing--which pretty much covers almost everything.

Why are you doing your blog?
To unburden my mind of lots of detritus, which I then pass off to unsuspecting visitors. Haha!

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Everything there is funny. Oh, wait. Did you mean haha-funny? Then there probably isn't anything that's that kind of funny on my blog. I'm not exactly known for comedy writing.

What is your writing style?
Depends on my mood. Sometimes straight to the point, sometimes fluffy, sometimes emo, sometimes just plain silly, always personal.

What do people commonly say about your site?
The people I know have said that it's so me. Whether that's good or bad though, I have absolutely no idea.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd be reading others' blogs; it's pretty much what I do today. My friend Victor and I run some sites including Expat Interviews and Weight Loss Tips--and many of the people we've featured in our sites have awesome blogs. Maybe I'd also be doing some traveling, I've always wanted to do that.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because it's there. Oh, okay. For ummmm...some good karma.

What did you learn from your first love?
That being highly intelligent and a kick ass dancer and having Mickey Mouse ears do not a good boyfriend make.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Heaps of them. Humor blogs, insightful blogs, personal blogs, family blogs--I enjoy reading them all. But there are three blogs where the writing strikes a chord deep within me: Shout (by H in India), An Unreliable Witness (by a Brit blogger) and Thwarting Complacency (by J. Sony in the USA). I want to write the way they do when I grow up.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
The Mad Hatter (because he's a crazy but wise dude), and that elusive clique known as they--because they always seem to know everything.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Just one? Man, that's like asking me to pick just one book out of all the ones I enjoy.
But, okay. Thesaurus.com. Because all those words just excite the butterflies in my tummy. Yummy (the words, not the butterflies).

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I will NOT. And I think it's a good thing that I won't. :-)

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A gay friend of mine was in a taxi, talking to someone. Suddenly he started groping for something in his bag, his pockets, his seat. "Shit!" he kept saying. "What's wrong?" his friend asked. "I can't find my cell phone!" Of course, he realized a few seconds later that he was using his damn phone talking to his friend. I don't even want to imagine what the cab driver thought about the whole incident.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Quit your job and start freelancing. NOW!

Any interesting travel stories?
Well, there was one time I really thought I was going to die. I was shaking, my palms were sweating, my skin felt clammy. I thought I was inadvertently going to do Number Two. My whole life flashed before my glazed-over eyes. That moment immediately preceding my first plane ride--takeoff!--was the longest ten seconds of my life.

How is life in Manila?
Life can be fast-paced, it can be laid back; depends on where you live in Manila and what you do. It's a vibrant, cosmopolitan city. Large parts of it are modern (read very Western and busy); there are also sections of overwhelming poverty. But I think we're a happy people as a whole. If you ever come to visit Manila, you should look beyond the problems to enjoy the gems--not the least of which are many of the people here.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
"Hearing my children's first wail immediately after they were born. Priceless."

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's the best and worst part about living in England?

Joe Blogs : Best part is it's multicultural, worst part is the weather.

Your Site Address : I Am Woman, See Me Blog!

Joe Blog's Interview #82 Bex

Name : Bex
Age : Closer to 30 than 20
Location : near the mountains
Vocation : Currently doing odd jobs...anyone need a dog walker?
Philosophy : orange is the new pink

Sum up what your blog is about.
Me. My hubby. My dog. Other random things.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because everyone else is doing it.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
So, I almost died I don't know if it's funny...but I almost peed my pants as I was recalling it.

What is your writing style?
I hate when people don't use proper grammar and yet, my entries are full of ungrammarable partial sentences.

What do people commonly say about your site?
It's very....orange.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
Probably training to become a cage fighter.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because it's on THE Mr Joe Blogs blog!

What did you learn from your first love?
How to argue with someone and win.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I've always enjoyed Post Secrets --it makes me feel better about myself.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
All of my blog friends who I have not met in real life. We'd eat and chat, saying things like, "lol" and "WTH" in real life conversation.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Snopes! I recommend this to all of my friends who email me those stories... ya know the ones: "Man dies in his sleep from breathing in his own farts. Forward this email to 253 people in the next 5 minutes or you too will die this way."

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I let my hubby eat the last cookie even though I really, really wanted it.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Once I was sitting outside a store and some guy came walking out. He was pointing to his eye and screaming, "EYEBALL!! EYEBALL!!" If that's not funny, at least it's random.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
I would tell myself to get a degree in something I actually enjoy, even if it means a few more years of college.

Any interesting travel stories?
The first time I ever went to a beach, I had to wear a heavy winter coat...not quite what I was expecting in paradise.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
My handsome husband.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What is your favorite Skittles flavor (please say orange please say orange) ?

Joe Blogs : I must say I'm partial to the orange Skittle, they bring out the color in my eyes.

Your Site Address : Pale Orange

Joe Blog's Interview With His Grace! #81

Name : Archbishop Cranmer
Age : 518, but in very good health
Location : Canterbury, England
Vocation : Archbishop of Canterbury
Philosophy : Seek the truth while it may be found

Sum up what your blog is about.
Examining religio-political agendas with politico-religious objectives.

Why are you doing your blog?
His Grace just told you.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
The intelligence and erudition of His Grace’s communicants display a proliferation of charm and wit.

What is your writing style?
Classically entertaining.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That it is addictive.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Writing sermons.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because whichever way you turn, you cannot ignore the religious dimension of life, and decisions taken on that have political implications.

What did you learn from your first love?
That one can be loved, wanted, needed, and that such a need makes the heart whole.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, but they don’t beat the Bible.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Jesus. Not for more wine, but because he split history in two.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Anglican friends of Israel, because Israel unjustly gets an appalling press, and is increasingly sidelined by the Church of England.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I do them in secret; the reward is greater.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
His Grace has an ordered and reasoned mind; nothing is random.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
His Grace was not then resurrected.

Any interesting travel stories?
Lots, but it would be like showing your readers His Grace’s holiday snaps, and he refuses to intentionally bore anyone.

Does God exist?
Most certainly.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Being burned at the stake in 1556. It hurt.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What is your spiritual inclination?

Joe Blogs : My inclination is more towards the Bhuddist philosophy. I don't profess to follow any religion though.

Your Site Address : Archbishop Cranmer

Joe Blog's Interview #80 Attylah The Hen

Name : Atyllah the Hen - Chicken with Attitude
Age : How rude! BaKaaaaK!
Location : Free Roaming.
Homeworld : Novapulse (Nova Pullis... New Poultry - get it?)
Vocation : Secret Agent masquerading as a writer
Philosophy : Eat Tofu or Die!Sum up what your blog is about. My mission on Earth is to observe and comment on the human condition. My blog is my means of providing feedback to Novapulse High Command and the Allied Federation of Intergalactic Associations.


Why are you doing your blog?
Because I have to - orders, you know.What's the funniest entry on your site? Hmmm... Define funny. Humans have very strange ideas about funny. The post about Granny discovering the Romping Rabbit seemed to make them laugh a lot and certainly generated some very strange Google searches...

What is your writing style?
Fast and loose.What do people commonly say about your site? "It's great!" "You're so brave." "OMG! You make me laugh!" "Take me back to Novapulse." "I love your Granny." (If only they knew what it was like to live with a werechicken granny...)

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd be back on Novapulse pushing paper - the punishment for failing my mission to Earth. I might also be writing my memoirs about my time amongst homo sapiens... Now that would make for one remarkable tragi-comedy! And it would form a whole new genre of chicklit...

Why should someone visit your site?
They might learn something about themselves and humanity per se. They might even get to laugh... They might wake up...

What did you learn from your first love?
Keep a vacuum cleaner next to the bed for when the er... feathers fly...

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Oh yeah. Lots. Have you got space for me to list them all? It might be easier to take a look at my blog roll.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
The Supreme Being of Andromeda. I like gleaning wisdom. Failing that, the Dalai Lama. The wisdom thing again. Besides, wise humans are so rare...

What one website would you recommend and why?
Google. I'd be lost without it. You have no idea how tough it is to get a handle on the insanity that is humanity.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I'm still busy doing it. Saving humanity from itself. But it's a tough job - possibly a hopeless one...

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Well, there's this one about what Granny did to a chicken farmer at the last full moon... Nah, humans, and chicken farmers in particular, probably wouldn't find it that funny.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Avoid all missions to Earth.

Do you eat KFC?
AAAAAAARGH! How can you ask a chicken a question like that? Are you insane? Oh, hang on, you're a human, of course you are...

Any interesting travel stories?
Oh lots. When you zip around the multiverse in a small space pod there are no end of interesting things that happen.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
This is going to sound sappy, but I'll have to say it was meeting Chicken Man. See, I have got a heart.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Would you be willing to visit Novapulse for a bit of social experimentation and if so, why? If not, why not?

Joe Blogs : Although the trip would be finger lickin ' good, I think I will decline. With my track record in eating chicken I don't think I'd be too welcome.

Your Site Address : Attylah The Hen