Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #93 Professional Neurotic

Name : Kelley
Age : 26
Location : Richmond, Va
Vocation : Professional Neurotic
Philosophy : We're all so much more alike than different.

Sum up what your blog is about.
That's tough, because coherency is not one of my strengths. I write about what I find funny, interesting, odd or moving.

Why are you doing your blog?
Initially, I started blogging because I've never had the discipline to write on a consistent basis; I needed an audience to motivate me. I continue to blog because of the enjoyment I derive from writing, and because blogging has "introduced" me to so many interesting people. People that wouldn't make eye contact with you on the street will bare their souls on the Internet; it's kind of bizarre, but it's wonderful.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
I really, truly wanted to provide you with an answer, but I just spent the past ten minutes combing through my archives and…well, that’s tough. When I read old posts, I can’t fight the urge to mentally edit things.

What is your writing style?
Hmmm...I'm in the process of figuring it out. It runs the gamut from my usual nonsense to more serious entries like this. My favorite writers are the ones that incorporate humor without shying from weightier things; they're entertaining, but they maintain an authentic voice. When you're trying to be funny, it's so easy to dilute your voice in a persona - I find myself falling into that trap too often. So, I guess my writing style is "aspiring to be a humor writer with substance."

What do people commonly say about your site?
My mom thinks it's brilliant. My dad would award me a Pulitzer. Other than that, I'm not sure many people are talking about my blog.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
You mean like in my spare time? Like, hobbies or something? Well, I've always wanted to learn another language. I've been meaning to read more Shakespeare. Maybe I'd take a pilates class... Who am I kidding? If I wasn't blogging, I'd be watching TV or playing around on the Internet. Maybe eating.

Why should someone visit your site?
This is why I hated dating and job interviews: I'm no good at selling myself. Um, let me think... I'm a team player, I work well with others, and I'm super punctual.

What did you learn from your first love?
I learned not to cling too tightly.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Absolutely! I have a short blog roll on my site, but I visit many more. I probably read dozens of blogs every day, but it's not, like, a problem or anything. I can quit any time I choose...

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party, who would it be and why?
Oh man, that's a tantalizing proposition. I'd invite a handful of feuding young celebrities. All of the former US presidents. Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Oprah. Paula Deen. Courtney Love. Yo-Yo Ma, Daniel Barenboim, Brandon Flowers. Dave Barry. Gloria Steinem. Criss Angel. Things would probably get very interesting, but I'd have enough tequila on hand to ensure it.

Why those people? Just seems like a nice crowd.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Unfair question - there are so many great websites! But if I had to choose one... I think Post Secret is brilliant. It’s moving to get a glimpse of the invisible side of people.

Tell us about your pet dog.
Pollock! She's my baby. We adopted her from a shelter about three years ago. She's full of personality, extremely clever, and the best cuddler of all time. (I admit it: we spoon.) I named her after the artist, Jackson Pollock, because her coloring resembles a splatter painting. She's very pretentious for a shelter dog.

What has rained on your tirade recently?
You know how sometimes individually packaged foods will list the serving size as 2? Then they list the caloric content as half of what it really is, hoping you'll overlook the serving size. That's just criminal.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently?
I've been sitting here for five minutes, and I can't think of anything I've done recently that would truly qualify as a "good deed." I guess I need to work on that. I always smile at babies, and I tip generously.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
My husband and I were riding in our building's elevator with our dog the other day, and a man and a woman got into the elevator when it stopped on another floor. Our shy little dog took one look at the strangers and scurried to the back of the elevator. "That's a cute little dog," the woman said.

"Thanks," replied my husband. "She was a rescue. As you can probably tell, she used to be a pit fighter."

The woman's eyes widened. "Awwww, really?"

What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
Five years ago I was in my third year of college, doing my best to do as little as possible to get decent grades. I would shake that girl by the shoulders and tell her to stop wasting all of the time and opportunities. Also, I would tell her to tone down the eye make-up.

Any interesting travel stories?
About a year and a half ago, my parents invited my husband and I to travel with them to Marathon, Texas (it’s a tiny town in far West Texas, near Big Bend). That was an amazing experience; it’s so remote and serene there. It feels removed from the modern world; javelina roam the landscape and giant tumbleweeds roll down the highway. (You can see a few photos here)

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
That’s a tough one, but if I’m really honest about the one thing that determined the quality of my life, I would have to say that it was being born into great circumstances. Not that I was born into wealth or prominence or anything (ha!), but I came into this world with a healthy body, a wonderful family, and a safe and happy home. I’ve had a lot of things just handed to me; I’ve never had to struggle for my security.

I guess that’s kind of a boring answer, though. Once, in college, I got drunk and scaled a water tower for a better view of the stars. That was pretty awesome.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like

What was your favorite Halloween costume?

Joe Blogs : I was never into Halloween in a big way. I guess if I was to do it now, the Scream mask would be quite cool, or Lurch from the Adams Family.

Site Address : Rain On My Tirade