Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Joe Blog's Interview #15 Flake Answers

Name : Hollywood Flake
Age : 27
Location : Los Angeles, CA
Vocation : Apartment Manager & Mom
Philosophy: Are you gonna' eat that?

Sum up what your blog is about for us :
Self-deprecation. There is daily fuel for this in my weird little life and I cover it all on the blog. I market the blog as a humor site so I try and focus on laughs whether it be a post about guerrilla parenting tactics, sketchy hair removal products or my unjustifiable Republican allegiance. I am by definition a "Mommy Blogger" but my blog is really an excuse for me to do something other then wipe up snotty noses and I blog about everything between the lines of my seemingly unremarkable life.

Why are you doing your blog?:
I've loved writing ever since I was seven years old and find it to be the most untamed medium for personal expression. There are over 1/4 million words in the English language and at any given moment I can put any of them together to create something totally new and unique. I only started blogging last year and soon discovered it to be the perfect medium for my forays into the absurd. Blogging also appeals to me because I am always thinking of some better way I could have said something or a wittier retort. With blogs, you can edit as long as you want and end up with the perfect turn of phrase but make it look spontaneous. A blog is a faker's paradise and I'm a total faker.

How much would you sell your blog for?
It's not money I'm after. But I'd give it up my blog in a heartbeat to be Gwen Stefani's backup singer.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind :
This is not funny. And yet... I read a clip in the newspaper years ago about a kid who had died from blood poisoning. He was a deodorant junkie and would spray aerosol all over his body every day, multiple times a day. And one day his body just couldn't take it anymore and gave up. Am I allowed to laugh at that? Because I get this evil grin every time I think about it (which is almost every time I put on deodorant).

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I keep current on about 50 blogs, some of the authors I know, but the majority of them I don't. My basic rule is if someone is taking the time to read my blog, I will always read theirs. A lot of them are "mommy-blogs" and give me validation that I'm not totally crazy for having children although it would otherwise feel like it. Additionally I like to read blogs that have hit "big time" to see what their secret is and try and glean some of their star power. But it seems so random which ones have all the fame and fortune. A lot of it seems to be just dumb luck. Some of the best writing I've found is at Foxy Librarian (http://foxylibrarians.blogspot.com/), Down the Rabbit Hole (http://downrabbitholemacon.blogspot.com/) and if I didn't mention my mother's blog here she would just kill me (http://www.benac.com/).

Whats the funniest entry on your blog?
Hard to decide - everyone seems to have a different opinion on this one, but I'm partial to " Superlicious Post Formula" which details how to turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary blog post. But my husband swears by this one called "Backhanded Compliments"

What is your writing style?
Tragic comedy. I force myself to brutal, humiliating honesty in hopes that it's what everyone else is secretly going through but is too proud or ashamed to admit. You might find yourself gagging, laughing and crying all in the same post. It's a total immersion process. I just put it all out there and let people know it's okay to fail. It's even better to laugh about it.

Why should someone visit your site?
It's like smoking. Everyone should try it at least once to know what the big deal is. Come on, just one puff! It could be the beginning of a beautiful life-long destructive addiction or you could just turn green, vomit and swear it off forever. With that being said, I must admit I've never smoked in my life and never plan to. But seriously, I am doing this all for you guys. I want to give people short, funny PG rated posts that make them laugh either at me or with me. If I was writing this blog for myself, it would be a totally different, terrifying beast. But instead I try to create original, focused posts with universal appeal. Please laugh. I'll even take a fake chuckle. Otherwise all these hours I'm spending blogging rather than reading "Goodnight Moon" to my baby are a total waste.

What do people commonly say about your site?
My dad thinks everything I write is a P.R. nightmare, my mother leaves skeptical comments questioning my sanity and my husband is constantly worried about getting fired from his job over it. Everyone else seems highly amused to watch with their popcorn in hand as I plunge headfirst to self-destruction by baring all.

If you could recommend one website, what would it be and explain why (can't be your own website!) :
Mormon Because I'm sick of people asking me if I'm allowed to use electricity, if I can dance, or if I sacrifice babies on Halloween. I'm Mormon - not a 12th century witch. So before you ask about my cellar full of voodoo dolls, just check out the website and educate yourself. We're not as bad as you might of hoped.

Tell us just one of your favorite actors, actress's, film, song, and comedian :
Actor: The Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson duo. It's magic every time. Zoolander, anyone?Actress: Rene Zellweger. She's fearless and isn't afraid to get down and dirty to connect with the audience. Her acting range is impressive and I'm always captivated by the characters she plays. I loved her in Chicago and Bridget Jones. Film: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Song : "You Are a Pirate" from the show Lazytown. I bet you didn't know it, but it's your favorite song too. Here's the YouTube link Comedian : Kathy Griffith, sometimes she's a little too honest, but overall, I admire her gutsy stand up and hilarious take on the obvious that somehow everyone else in the universe overlooked.

Tell us a joke :
You asked for it. This one is my all time favorite.
Q: How do you sell a deaf guy a chicken?
A: DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!!!?? (Most effective if you scream it at the top of your lungs and jump within an inch of the person's face you are telling the joke to. I've had people fall flat on their butts before in sheer terror.)

What would you wish for with 3 wishes?
One : To make the right wish with my second wish.
Two : The right wish.
Three : At this point, I can go ahead and wish for the classic bottomless bank account in case I am too shallow to appreciate wish #2.

Your Site Address : Hollywood Flakes - Come on - you know you wanna!