Name : Lauren Mitchell
Age : 24
Location : D.C metro area
Vocation : Professional Undergraduate
Philosophy : Don’t take anything too seriously, especially yourself.
Sum up what your blog is about.
Poetry, poetics, tick-bites, university bureaucracy, delusional conspiracy theorists, nonlinear dynamics, monkey stew, gutter punks, evil & not-so-evil editors, the intricacies of book-writing, the perils of navigating western medicine, why “Need for Speed: Most Wanted” is a muse-killer.
Why are you doing your blog?
Because poetry is awesome and fun, but most people think it’s evil and lame. I’d like to maybe change some minds…and if all else fails, at least blogging helps me procrastinate when I have a paper due.
What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
It depends on your definition of funny…I really like the “automatic gothic poetry generator” post.
What is your writing style?
In general, I try to spell correctly. I give myself bonus points for proper grammar.
How much would you sell your blog for?
How much are you offering?
What do people commonly say about your site?
“What’s a Tapir?”
Why should someone visit your site?
Because poetry is really cool once you get to know it. Plus, reading about my life is like watching a train wreck in slow-motion.
Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?
It’s a sad, sweaty reality, friends. Put down the hair-spray, and step away from your Hummers.
Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Yes. My favorites are:
Chronically Sick but Still Thinking
What would you have written on your tombstone?
“You’re standing on my head!”
Would you go on a reality TV show?
Yes, but only if I could be the smart, bitchy one.
What one website would you recommend and why?
http://www.homestarrunner.com/. Because Strong Bad is my future baby daddy.
Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A rabbi, a priest and a stripper walk into a pillow factory…no, wait: a rabbi, a stripper and a donkey walk into a pillow factory. No…um, I forget how it goes.
Had any supernatural experiences?
Yes. I have seen Dick Cheney in the flesh. He walks among us.
What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
“Don’t smoke that!”
Can you tell us a joke?
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender “Do you have any grapes?”
“No, duck, this is a bar,” the bartender responds, and the duck leaves.
The next day the duck comes in again and asks the same bartender “Do you have any grapes?”
Annoyed, the bartender responds, “No duck, I told you yesterday, this is a bar. Now leave me alone!” The duck leaves again.
But the next day the duck returns and asks the same bartender “Do you have any grapes?” Now the bartender is furious and tells the duck, “No. We don’t have any grapes! If you come in here asking for grapes again, I’m gonna nail your feet to the floor!” The duck leaves again.
The next day the duck comes back into the bar and asks the same bartender, “Do you have any nails?”
“No” the bartender responds.
Then the duck asks, “Do you have any grapes?”
Tell us just one of your favourite actors, actresses, comedian, song and film.
I generally dislike actors/actresses, they’re always so self-important and think they’re making some great contribution to humanity…which I don’t agree with. I do like Jon Stewart though…and I can’t watch “Team America” often enough.
What’s the most incredible thing that’s ever happened to you?
Not getting picked last for softball
And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
1. More wishes
2. My own private island, replete with cabana boys
3. An official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock
Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Dónde está la Biblioteca?
Joe Blogs : Sorry, I don't know where the library is luv.
Your Site Address : Outside Tena