Thursday, February 01, 2007

Joe Blog's Interview #62 Cheesy!

Name : Cheeseburger Brown
Age : 31
Location : Rural Ontario, Canada
Vocation : Art Director
Philosophy : Live and let live.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Free, original storytelling -- episodes posted three times each week, without fail.

Why are you doing your blog?
I'm a storyteller. Storytellers need an audience.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
My most popular lark remains the personal diary of Darth Vader, which blended comedy and tragedy in a way that enabled the character to speak to people in a way George Lucas just couldn't access. The archives are on-line:

What is your writing style?
Occasionally verbose, sometimes poetic, always irreverent.

How much would you sell your blog for?
Not for a thousand million hundred dollars.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I consider it high praise when people write to tell me that they were almost fired because they got sucked into my writing for the better part of a day when they had more urgent matters to attend to.

Why should someone visit your site?
I think of my blog a bit like an old radio serial from the mid-20th century: melodramatic and ironic, often funny, an escape for the world-weary that can be relied on to deliver fresh content at no cost with no nonsense. Every story is different, and there's no rights restrictions regulating how those stories are consumed or shared. In short: free entertainment, no hassles.

Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?
Personally, I think women have a hand in it, too.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Hulver's Site: it's a community diary site.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
I'd like to share a meal with anyone from the distant past so that I could see the expression on their face as I tell them the story of history from their period to mine.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
I'd like to find a way to transition to a zero emissions economy without making Western civilization implode. Also, a new flag with Porky Pig on it.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I would recommend my own, because I like having readers. Writing without readers is a depressing experience, akin to playing fetch without a dog or getting married to an empty wedding dress on a hanger.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
On my wedding day I was loitering outside the Royal York Hotel in a tuxedo, waiting for my ride to the church, when a man started asking me questions about the hotel's facilities. When I could not answer him to his satisfaction he upbraided me for being a very poor excuse for a doorman.

Had any supernatural experiences?
I don't believe in the supernatural. If something happens, it's natural. I've had experiences I cannot explain, but I'm fairly confident they all took place within this familiar universe, employing the same laws of physics we all live by.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Buy Apple stock. Don't let your passport expire. Make conscientious use of birth control.

Any interesting travel stories?
Once when I was in Mexico a Colombian plane full of cocaine crashed into the jungle near my resort. I was rudely awakened in the middle of the night by men in black with automatic weapons who quizzed me on my knowledge of Spanish in a fairly brusque manner. They were eventually convinced that I was not harbouring fugitives under my night-stand so they went away without so much as a tip of the hat.

Tell us just one of your favourite actors, actresses, comedian, song and film.
My favourite actor is Jimmy Stewart. I like the way he talks.
My favourite actress is Anjelica Houston. I like the way she moves.
My favourite comedian is Christopher Guest. I admire his wit.
My favourite song is Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi". Because it's so true.
My favourite film is Kubrick's "Lolita". Never cut when a long shot will do.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I once wrote something that made ten thousand people cry. They wrote to tell me about it, which made me cry, too.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
First : perfect health, and a remarkable ability to heal from injury.
Second : eidetic memory.
Third : that the first and second wishes become genetically inheritable traits.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Which superhero was best-endowed by their special abilities to have stopped the terror attacks of September 11, 2001?

Joe Blogs : Superman. He could fly and stop the planes.

Your Site Address : Cheese Burger Brown