F1 Racing driver Lewis Hamilton is dating the boss' daughter. Apparently he likes her lap dances. He must really like living in the fast lane. His boss will know about all the moves he might try.
A poet has been employed to read at Reading Station. The amount of waiting time she could read War And Peace.An arrest warrant is out for new Man City football club owner Thaksin Shinawatra. Maybe he has been playing away from home.
If Karl Rove is Bush's Brain then what is Dick Cheney?
O.J. Simpson's book If I Did It is to be published, along with JFK's If I was Shot, and Bill Clinton's What If I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Woman.
Hate sequels, I didn't like going through rush hour the first time. Too long and was going nowhere.
Baby Spice lives up to her name and has a baby.
The Bourne Rhodedendrum, Jason Bourne tries to stop a botanist from blowing up the world.
Bourne Free, Jason releases lions on heat seeking missiles.
Bourne Again, Mel Gibson to direct.
Bjorn Ultimatum, serve an ace or die.
A man has had his hand surgically whittled to be better able to use the Iphone touch screen. They should make a phone for him, the Ipodge.
An ancient forest has been discovered in Hungary, tree trunks 8 million years old. That's a lot of rings to count. More than Elizabeth Taylor has.
A girl who works in a sandwich shop overdosed on coffee. She might be one sandwich short of a picnic. I know listening to too much Ice T can be bad for your health though.
Karl Rove has stepped down. The retired neo-con helped Bush into power. Imagine Rove in a retirement home.
Karl Rove : Hell, Nurse wheres my dinner?
Nurse : It'll be ready in 45 minutes.
Karl Rove : I don't believe you. That Stevie Wonder is playing his music too loud.
Nurse : Let me plump your pillow. Settle down now.
(Rove sneaks out, enters Stevie Wonders room and turns off the record player)
Stevie Wonder : Who's that, turn my music back on.
later on...
Nurse : Did you turn off Stevie's record player?
Karl Rove : I must admit I did, it was a pre-emptive strike.
Nurse : And you shouted at Buffy The Vampire Slayer next door?
Karl Rove : Understand, its a war on Sarah Michelle Geller.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Insert Title Here
Premiership football clubs who have spent millions on new players have already won a title, "Hey Big Spender".
New green version of Madness song Driving In My Car, "I go driving in my car, it wiped out the jaguar."
When Gordon Brown talks I can see his lips moving but can’t take anything in that he says. Even lip readers lose interest, and start focusing on his tie. People who do sign language start playing rock, scissors and stone.
Many people lost out on insurance policies when Enron collapsed, opposition leader David Cameron knows what it’s like to have no policies.
Michael Moores documentary on the American health care systems exposes that George Clooney is not going to be your doctor.
Laura Bush : First Blair and now Brown
George Bush : What?
Laura Bush : Another special relationship, whats a girl to think?
George Bush : You worry too much, I'm just brown nosing.
Laura Bush : Well OK I wouldn't worry so much but I remember you and camp David.
New green version of Madness song Driving In My Car, "I go driving in my car, it wiped out the jaguar."
When Gordon Brown talks I can see his lips moving but can’t take anything in that he says. Even lip readers lose interest, and start focusing on his tie. People who do sign language start playing rock, scissors and stone.
Many people lost out on insurance policies when Enron collapsed, opposition leader David Cameron knows what it’s like to have no policies.
Michael Moores documentary on the American health care systems exposes that George Clooney is not going to be your doctor.
Laura Bush : First Blair and now Brown
George Bush : What?
Laura Bush : Another special relationship, whats a girl to think?
George Bush : You worry too much, I'm just brown nosing.
Laura Bush : Well OK I wouldn't worry so much but I remember you and camp David.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Recap
Gordon Brown has one fan at least, Aretha Franklin, 'the only man who ever loved me was... the son of a preacher man.'
The British government has banned Russian diplomats, you only get out what you putin.
After the BBC faked footage of the Queen, they have decided to come clean on a number of issues, BBC spokeswoman Meg Ryan, admitted the corporation was guilty of faking it, and came clean on a number of issues, "the moon landing, JFK assassination, and Dr Who is not actually a registered Doctor." Meg Ryan has a new film out, Deceitful In Seattle.
Floods in Britain means you can go fishing for Blu-Ray DVDs.
Tony Blair proposed to Cherie in a lav, its no wonder this country has gone down the toilet. Maybe Tony thought the engaged sign on the door was a hint.
Cruise : how ya doin Becks
Beckham : good thanks, I touched down in LA
Cruise : wow u only just arrived and you scored on the soccer field
Beckham : um no..
There is not much original music around, so many covers, more than Wimbledon this year.
Anyone who asks the quickest way to a mans heart should ask the steward at the javelin throwing contest.
With talk of doping in golf, two spectators were struck. A case of roid rage? Drugs might be par for the course.
Bush has had a semicolonoscopy to sort out his grammar.
The British government has banned Russian diplomats, you only get out what you putin.
After the BBC faked footage of the Queen, they have decided to come clean on a number of issues, BBC spokeswoman Meg Ryan, admitted the corporation was guilty of faking it, and came clean on a number of issues, "the moon landing, JFK assassination, and Dr Who is not actually a registered Doctor." Meg Ryan has a new film out, Deceitful In Seattle.
Floods in Britain means you can go fishing for Blu-Ray DVDs.
Tony Blair proposed to Cherie in a lav, its no wonder this country has gone down the toilet. Maybe Tony thought the engaged sign on the door was a hint.
Cruise : how ya doin Becks
Beckham : good thanks, I touched down in LA
Cruise : wow u only just arrived and you scored on the soccer field
Beckham : um no..
There is not much original music around, so many covers, more than Wimbledon this year.
Anyone who asks the quickest way to a mans heart should ask the steward at the javelin throwing contest.
With talk of doping in golf, two spectators were struck. A case of roid rage? Drugs might be par for the course.
Bush has had a semicolonoscopy to sort out his grammar.
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