Joe Blog's Interview #94 Andrew Collins

Name : Andrew Collins (Wikipedia & IMDB)
Age : 41 (42 in four days)
Location : London
Vocation : Writer, broadcaster, anything.
Philosophy : Could be worse, could be raining.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It is mainly about TV programmes, films and West End stage musicals I have seen, or books that I have read, deftly interwoven with my views on health and nutrition, current affairs and trying to get satisfaction in shops.




Why are you doing your blog?
I started it in April 2005, when I moved from doing a daily weekday radio show on BBC 6 Music to the weekend. For the benefit on my listeners I decided to start recording what I did in the week, so that we were all up to speed come Saturday.

It appeared on the 6 Music website. I stopped doing it in December 2005, as it was interfering with my actual work. Then I started it again, in a slightly less regular format, in February 2006 on my own website, so that the BBC didn't have to assure people that my views were not necessarily those of the BBC at the end of each entry.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
Comedy is subjective. What I find funny is not necessarily what other people find funny. I found this line I wrote last week about giving up buying the Guardian because its coverage of health matters made me angry quite funny: "I realise it won't even be a blip on the Guardian's circulation radar, but my life will be greatly improved and I'm hoping that peace and calm will descend upon me, as I read about the end of the world every day in the Independent." I think I found it funny because I didn't know I was going to write it until I wrote it.

What is your writing style?
I hope it's clear and concise and properly punctuated, unlike your blog, Mr Blogs. The apostrophe in "Joe Blog's blogs" should come after the "s" in "Blogs", not before the "s", unless your name is Mr Blog, and I don't think it is. I can only assume you were educated some time after the 80s, when education in this country was ruined forever. (If so, I let you off. Not your fault.)

What do people commonly say about your site?
If they are doctors, they say I am wrong about the efficacy of homeopathy. But I don't care what they think.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Writing a sitcom for BBC1, writing a one-off comedy drama for Channel 4, writing a radio sitcom for Comic Relief, or writing a novel. These are the four things I should currently be writing instead of answering these questions.

Why should someone visit your site?
If they want to find out when my next book is published, although it's May 3, so they don't need to visit the site to find that out any more. To read the blog and more importantly, join the "community".

What did you learn from your first love?
That first love is not as important as it seems at the time.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Richard Herring's is the only blog I read every single word of. He is a comic genius. I enjoy The Urban Woo because Clair, who writes it, is a journalist and punctuates properly. I will often click on the blogs of bloggers who comment on my blog.

How much time do you spend writing material, with all the different projects you have?
I start early, sometimes as early as 7am, and always finish before 7pm, with plenty of screen breaks. During those two times, I should be writing all the time, but clearly I have meetings and travel time to work in too.

If you could be in any TV series (new or old) which would it be and what character would you like to play?
I would like to be in The Wire, playing an unnamed cop in the background at a wake for a fellow officer in Kavanagh's bar, singing along to a Pogues song.

What's been the highlight of your career?
Probably winning a Sony Gold award for Collins & Maconie's Hit Parade in 1995, although it worries me that my highlight might have been 12 years ago. It suggests it's all been downhill ever since, which it hasn't. I was rather proud to finally be invited on Richard & Judy and that was only last week.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Filled my three bird feeders to the brim two days ago, so that the goldfinches, chaffinches, tits, robins and woodpeckers may feast to their hearts' content on peanuts and sunflower seeds, while the blackbirds, robins and lone pigeon may hoover up the bits that fall to the ground beneath. (Note where the apostrophe is in "hearts".)

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I once insulted Christina Ricci by mistake. It's in my next book, which is out on May 3.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Five years ago, February 2002, I was just about to start broadcasting five days a week on the about-to-be-launched 6 Music. I would have said to myself: don't move to Reigate.

Any interesting travel stories?
In 1992 I flew out to Boston with a photographer and record company representative to interview the Lemonheads, and instead of flying home from Boston, I hitched a ride on Curve's tour bus and drove to New York, then rearranged my flight and flew back from New York a few days later, on my own. It might not sound like much of an adventure, but I was 27 and it was the most spontaneous thing I'd ever done in my life.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Getting a book published about growing up in Northampton in the 1970s and seeing it go into the Sunday Times bestseller lists. I still can't believe that.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
When are you going to correct the apostrophe in "Joe Blog's"? (In some ways, I think you should keep it the way it is, and change your name.)

Joe Blogs : Where were you 94 interviews ago! I know what your saying about the apostrophe, and it obviously causes you some annoyance, me too now. When I write it like you suggest though, it just doesn't look right. Would you believe me if I said I dictate this blog to my PA Kelsey Grammer? My name is Joe Blogs, so I won't be changing that. If I change the apostrophe now, it would be a bitter pill to swallow. I might change it after I've tort my next Inglish class. I've got a good link here, The Apostrophe Game!

Aside from my grammatical faux pas, check out Andrew Collins' blog, it really is a good read, and made me chuckle. Mr Collins is an accomplished writer and broadcaster. A glance at Andrews amazing CV includes his autobiographies, 'Where Did It All Go Right?', and 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now'. Also he has his BBC 6 Music radio shows, and is the film editor for The Radio Times. This is the tip of the iceberg, you can find out all about Andrew on his blog.

By the way Andrew, Happy Birthday for March 4th, and thanks for taking time out to answer these questions.

Your Site Address : Never Knowingly Underwhelmed

Joe Blog's Interview #93 Professional Neurotic

Name : Kelley
Age : 26
Location : Richmond, Va
Vocation : Professional Neurotic
Philosophy : We're all so much more alike than different.

Sum up what your blog is about.
That's tough, because coherency is not one of my strengths. I write about what I find funny, interesting, odd or moving.

Why are you doing your blog?
Initially, I started blogging because I've never had the discipline to write on a consistent basis; I needed an audience to motivate me. I continue to blog because of the enjoyment I derive from writing, and because blogging has "introduced" me to so many interesting people. People that wouldn't make eye contact with you on the street will bare their souls on the Internet; it's kind of bizarre, but it's wonderful.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
I really, truly wanted to provide you with an answer, but I just spent the past ten minutes combing through my archives and…well, that’s tough. When I read old posts, I can’t fight the urge to mentally edit things.

What is your writing style?
Hmmm...I'm in the process of figuring it out. It runs the gamut from my usual nonsense to more serious entries like this. My favorite writers are the ones that incorporate humor without shying from weightier things; they're entertaining, but they maintain an authentic voice. When you're trying to be funny, it's so easy to dilute your voice in a persona - I find myself falling into that trap too often. So, I guess my writing style is "aspiring to be a humor writer with substance."

What do people commonly say about your site?
My mom thinks it's brilliant. My dad would award me a Pulitzer. Other than that, I'm not sure many people are talking about my blog.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
You mean like in my spare time? Like, hobbies or something? Well, I've always wanted to learn another language. I've been meaning to read more Shakespeare. Maybe I'd take a pilates class... Who am I kidding? If I wasn't blogging, I'd be watching TV or playing around on the Internet. Maybe eating.

Why should someone visit your site?
This is why I hated dating and job interviews: I'm no good at selling myself. Um, let me think... I'm a team player, I work well with others, and I'm super punctual.

What did you learn from your first love?
I learned not to cling too tightly.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Absolutely! I have a short blog roll on my site, but I visit many more. I probably read dozens of blogs every day, but it's not, like, a problem or anything. I can quit any time I choose...

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party, who would it be and why?
Oh man, that's a tantalizing proposition. I'd invite a handful of feuding young celebrities. All of the former US presidents. Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Oprah. Paula Deen. Courtney Love. Yo-Yo Ma, Daniel Barenboim, Brandon Flowers. Dave Barry. Gloria Steinem. Criss Angel. Things would probably get very interesting, but I'd have enough tequila on hand to ensure it.

Why those people? Just seems like a nice crowd.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Unfair question - there are so many great websites! But if I had to choose one... I think Post Secret is brilliant. It’s moving to get a glimpse of the invisible side of people.

Tell us about your pet dog.
Pollock! She's my baby. We adopted her from a shelter about three years ago. She's full of personality, extremely clever, and the best cuddler of all time. (I admit it: we spoon.) I named her after the artist, Jackson Pollock, because her coloring resembles a splatter painting. She's very pretentious for a shelter dog.

What has rained on your tirade recently?
You know how sometimes individually packaged foods will list the serving size as 2? Then they list the caloric content as half of what it really is, hoping you'll overlook the serving size. That's just criminal.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently?
I've been sitting here for five minutes, and I can't think of anything I've done recently that would truly qualify as a "good deed." I guess I need to work on that. I always smile at babies, and I tip generously.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
My husband and I were riding in our building's elevator with our dog the other day, and a man and a woman got into the elevator when it stopped on another floor. Our shy little dog took one look at the strangers and scurried to the back of the elevator. "That's a cute little dog," the woman said.

"Thanks," replied my husband. "She was a rescue. As you can probably tell, she used to be a pit fighter."

The woman's eyes widened. "Awwww, really?"

What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
Five years ago I was in my third year of college, doing my best to do as little as possible to get decent grades. I would shake that girl by the shoulders and tell her to stop wasting all of the time and opportunities. Also, I would tell her to tone down the eye make-up.

Any interesting travel stories?
About a year and a half ago, my parents invited my husband and I to travel with them to Marathon, Texas (it’s a tiny town in far West Texas, near Big Bend). That was an amazing experience; it’s so remote and serene there. It feels removed from the modern world; javelina roam the landscape and giant tumbleweeds roll down the highway. (You can see a few photos here)

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
That’s a tough one, but if I’m really honest about the one thing that determined the quality of my life, I would have to say that it was being born into great circumstances. Not that I was born into wealth or prominence or anything (ha!), but I came into this world with a healthy body, a wonderful family, and a safe and happy home. I’ve had a lot of things just handed to me; I’ve never had to struggle for my security.

I guess that’s kind of a boring answer, though. Once, in college, I got drunk and scaled a water tower for a better view of the stars. That was pretty awesome.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like

What was your favorite Halloween costume?

Joe Blogs : I was never into Halloween in a big way. I guess if I was to do it now, the Scream mask would be quite cool, or Lurch from the Adams Family.

Site Address : Rain On My Tirade

Hello Chums

Since my last post, we’ve had great interviews, including with a New Zealand entrepreneur, Mr Jack Yan. Also Attylah The Hen, Archbishop Cranmer, and comedian Richard Herring among others. Some have compared me to a digital version of David Letterman, none have been able to corroberate this statement though. So please take a seat.

Just a few things that have been on my radar recently.

In the news Britney has gone bald and is suffering a very public breakdown. Not as bad as when your tyres are bald and you break down in a car in the middle of a traffic jam I imagine. Now I’m not comparing Britney to an old banger. I’ve often thought how terrible it would be if my car conked out in rush hour. I guess I would call the rescue service if I was paying for one. But instead I guess I’d have to get out of the car and make a vain attempt to fix it. Open the bonnet, conduct an orchestra with the dipstick, stroke my chin, do a dance routine in the smoke, anything but actually be able to fix the car. How embarrassing would it be if a woman stopped to help me.

I think I know the reason for Britney’s recent madness. I saw a headline ‘Chimpanzees Hunt Using Spears’. It is not known if she has any choice. The monkeys make Britney chase wild boar pigs, and pick bananas. Personally I shop with Macy's, William H. Macy that is, he's quite cheap for a Hollywood star, though he does have expensive tastes.

Half of teachers in Britain have been physically assaulted, and 90% verbally abused, according to a new survey. You’d think that would mean kids are good at physical education and oral communication. The problem is kids are doing the wrong kind of lines. Kids nowadays are really good at answering back, except in maths tests.

Hospital medics could be about to stop using the traditional bedside notes, in favour of hand held PC’s. Hugh Heffner probably keeps bedside notes on nurses.

The British Ministry Of Defense tested people to see if they had real psychic ability. In new information released under the Freedom Of Information Act. They came to the conclusion it wouldn’t be much use in the defense of the nation. I could have told them that. Maybe they should do a new study to see if pigs can fly, walls can talk, or if the Pope is catholic.

Hugh Grant was handcuffed by a female fan at the premiere of his new movie Music & Lyrics, which also stars Drew Barrymore. Grant was freed by firemen and the psycho fan was then arrested. He carried on with the premiere, Drew Barrymore probably advised him to phone home. Thinking about it I wouldn’t mind being cuffed to Angelina Jolie and Shakira, but not in those circumstances. I mean what can you say to some stranger that chains themselves to you apart from “What the f…” I certainly wouldn’t want to be chained to Prince Harry going to Iraq, or a peckish Hannibal Lecter.

Helen Mirren won the best actress Oscar. It's no surprise with all the promotional material I've seen. They must have spent millions promoting the movie, every time I pay for something in the shop, or post a letter. It's in your face. I don't like this agressive marketing, in fact all I can think about is the Queen movie. Forest Whittaker won best actor but you don't see stamps and mugs with his face on do you?


Hope you enjoy the interviews, and thanks for your comments.

Joe Blog's Interview #92 Comedian Richard Herring

Name : Richard Herring (Wikipedia, & IMDB)
Age : 39
Location : London UK
Vocation : Writer and comedian.
Philosophy : My enemy's enemy is my friend. Unfortunately my enemy is his own worst enemy, so I have to invite him to barbecues, which is quite annoying.

Sum up what your blog is about.
I basically try to take one incident from the day and write about it in a humorous way. I find the smaller the incident, the funnier it tends to be. It's mainly about my own stupidity, paranoia and wasted life




Why are you doing your blog?
The initial idea was that it would be an attempt to write for half an hour in the morning to warm up for the proper work I had to do. I also wanted to record the minutia of life that so often gets forgotten. As it turns out it's often the only thing I write in the day, but it has been a brilliant way to generate material and actually led to me getting back into stand up. Most of the material in my last two shows originated in the blog.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
This is the one of my favourites - (click here) and probably sums up the ethos of the blog more than any other. It also went on to form the cornerstone of my 2005 stand up show. It's something that I would never have considered for stand up if it hadn't been for the blog and that I would never have written down.

What is your writing style?
Not for me to say.

What do people commonly say about your site?
It generally seems to amuse and impress people, though seems to infuriate about one in a thousand people who perhaps take me a little seriously.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I would be wasting the time in some less productive manner.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because they want to.

What did you learn from your first love?
This question seems out of place.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Emma Kennedy's is quite good despite being a copy of mine. Andrew Collings does a good one.

They say comedy acting is the hardest, do you agree?
The hardest thing ever? Probably not. The hardest kind of acting? Not for me. Serious acting is pretty difficult. Being funny is much easier for me. But acting is much harder than it looks.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Kurt Vonnegut is the greatest living writer and I would love to listen to him talking for an evening.

What website would you recommend and why?
Not BBC is an entertaining forum for debates about comedy.

How do you deal with a heckler in the audience?
In many different ways. Too detailed to go into here. But basically they are almost certainly less funny and more drunk and more stupid than me, so it's a matter of answering quickly and wittily, without losing your temper.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I have helped to destroy the environment with my selfish use of natural resources, thus hastening the destruction of the human race, which is a blight and a cancer that must be wiped out for the sake of the rest of the planet.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Go to my website. There's four years worth on there.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
This question does not quite make sense. What advice would I now give the me of five years ago? With the benefit of hindsight? Is that what you mean? I would have advised me to stop wasting so much time and do more work and I am sure the me of 5 years time would offer the same advice to the me of now. I wouldn't want to change any of the mistakes I have made. They have all been instructive and you kind of have to live through the rubbish stuff because just having someone telling you about it is not enough.

Any interesting travel stories?
Here's one, click here

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Beating the other 600 million sperm to make it to the egg.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's the point?

Joe Blogs : Quite a blunt question I must say! Granted, I did say ask any question. Man, your one opportunity to ask me a question and you blew it! I'm confused how to answer, you did say 'What's the point?', I don't know whether to refer you to the Samaritans helpline, or a cartographer. F1 Driver Jenson Button would also like to know what a point is as well I imagine.

What is the point in it all, maybe my readers can enlighten us? Or better still visit comedy legend Richard Herring's Blog, Warming Up, whose work includes Stand Up shows 'Talking Cock' and 'Someone Likes Yoghurt', also writing credits include Lee & Herring, Time Gentlemen Please, & Script Editor on 3rd Series of Little Britain to name but a few.


Your Site Address : Richard Herring's Warming Up

Joe Blog's Interview #91 Serenity Quest

Name : Tisha!
Age : 34 (going on 5)
Location : Brussels, Belgium
Vocation : Cross-Cultural Consultant
Philosophy : Carpe Diem!

Sum up what your blog is about
Feel, think, react, let YOUR voice be heard. Serenity Quest is a platform for people of all backgrounds to express themselves.

Why are you doing your blog?
Blogging started out as therapeutic, a way to get things off my chest but it has developed into communication, dialogue and exchange of ideas and thoughts with other bloggers from whom I learn a great deal and am inspired.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
Funny is in the eye of the beholder but for me it is a toss up between
Innocent or Guilty? and New York City Subway Tales (Tails).

What is your writing style?
Creative and freestyle writing, according to what’s on my mind at the moment.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Fun, wacky, weird. No doubt I am eccentric and people find oddities entertaining.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Pulling my hair out!

Why should someone visit your site?
To share their experiences with others.

What did you learn from your first love?
Never trust a British bloke (tongue and cheek).

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
There are so many and it would be difficult for me to name just one, so I’ll slyly not answer that thanks.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
King David. He and I would sit around a banquet and shoot the breeze about his dilly-dallying.

What one website would you recommend and why?
We’re bombarded with so much bad news on a regular basis so every once in a while I visit the Good News Network to refresh my mind, my heart. Too much sad news can be unhealthy.

What's the weirdest thing you have seen in New York?
Millions of people walking with their heads down never making eye contact, weird.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently
I’ve created a photo blog for a close friend and dang now he’s getting on my nerves.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind
In Brussels they often mistake me for a Moroccan. On one particular occasion an older gentleman addresses me in Arabic and was sorely disappointed I didn’t understand what he was saying. He was pissed and shouted in French “your parents should be ashamed of themselves not teaching you your culture and language”. I swore I wasn’t Moroccan but the schmuck wouldn’t believe me.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Never write about the family because at some point a relative will find ammunition for upheaval of your life.

Any interesting travel stories?
My Jordanian Adventure still freaks me out and makes me say “What was I thinking!?”

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
The first time I set my eyes on Jerusalem an overpowering feeling came over me and I felt so insignificant and in awe.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Why do you blog?

Joe Blogs : I'm OK at creative writing, and I enjoy bringing lots of people together through this blog. It's interesting to see snippets into other peoples lives through these interviews I do.

Your Site Address : Serenity Quest

Joe Blog's Interview #90 Author Zoe McCarthy

Name : Zed
Age : One never asks a woman's age.
Location : Bugum.
Vocation : Officer Manager (for the next five minutes, or so ...)
Philosophy : /"L'Enfer, c'est les autres." /(Sartre)

Sum up what your blog is about.
A mixture of the Osbournes and AbFab - a single mother trying to cope with 3.2 children.

Why are you doing your blog?
Writing it.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
I can't remember, but there is one. Probably by a Guest-Blogger. Ooops.

What is your writing style?
I try to be funny, but I'm not, so it's probably shite.

What do people commonly say about your site?
"What's a 'twat' ?" Sigh.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Something else.

Why should someone visit your site?
Now that HAS to be the most stupid question asked ever. EVER.

What did you learn from your first love?
The word 'wow'.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes.

Why are you with your boyfriend, if he is as you say a twat?
I love him all the more for being a twat. It makes him all the more different from the other boyfriends that I have had and he doesn't mind the term of endearment.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Johnny Depp, simply for his good looks, Kiefer Sutherland, as he'd keep me safe and sound until he gets kidnapped yet again, Helen Mirren, to know what it takes to be such a good actress, Heather Mills, to know what it's like to be in a lawsuit against a Beatle, Margaret Thatcher, as she wouldn't last long at the table (thank god) and Richard Branson, to know the secret of his success.

What one website would you recommend and why?
That is an unfair question.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I haven't.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Too long to tell - read my book instead.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Leave your job.

Any interesting travel stories?
Yes.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Well, where do I start ? Given birth to twins - forgetting that, there was another one ?

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Where did you last have sex and with whom?

Joe Blogs : Not telling.

Your Site Address : My Boyfriend Is A Twat

Joe Blog's Interview #89 Anjali Speaks

Name : Anjali
Age : I stopped counting after I hit 21. That was only last year.
Location : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Vocation : Advertising
Philosophy : Life is short – live it fully and have no regrets.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It’s a platform for me to express myself. To tell my my life stories; be it my thoughts, my emotions and my travelogues. To leave bite-size pieces of me before I leave this world.

Why are you doing your blog?
I had initially started writing short stories about myself and saved them in my computer. One fine day, I shared some with a friend and she advised me to post them on a blog. “You write good s**t”, she said. The rest as they say is history. What’s the funniest entry on your blog? I think there were a few wicked-humoured ones, but if I have to choose one, I’d most probably choose this one called ‘Save me from this misery’. It still makes me laugh when I have a bad day at work.

What is your writing style?
I prefer it to be conversational; like talking to your best buddy. It’s more sincere that way. I can look back at all the foolish things I’ve done and laugh about them aloud, without fearing what others think. I take myself less seriously on my blog.

What do people commonly say about your site?
People liked my wicked humour with a touch of sarcasm. And the blog attracts the same breed of people, so that’s great actually. Most also like my travel photographs.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
The same thing I do outside of my blogging hours – work, read, cook, being a slave to my cat, daydream and travel a bit. I have a life besides blogging, y’know.

Why should someone visit your site?
Simply because they should. Heh.

What did you learn from your first love?
Two things – (i) It’s important to love yourself first. (ii) No man can love you as much as God and your pet. There was a quote I read once which says, “If you want loyalty, get a dog.” A cat who thinks he is a dog works just as well too; like my Smokey. *wink*

Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?
Definitely reality - women are too kind for that kind of destruction.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I really loved Tequilamockingbird, but she has stopped writing. Now, my current favourites are PostSecret and Karen Cheng’s Snippets Of Life.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Oooh that’s easy. I would love…no, lust actually, to invite His Purple Highness Prince. He is obviously the sexiest man alive. He will be my dinner and we will party like it’s 1999.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I would recommend PostSecret, because it is real. At most times, amid all those secrets, you find one [sometimes a few] that reflects exactly how you feel. And that’s awesomely powerful and equally freaky at the same time.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I remember this scene in ‘Monk’, whereby a girl was irritating monk with the riddle - Pete and Repeat are sitting in a boat. Pete fell of, so who’s left in the boat? Obviously the answer is Repeat. So the riddle became an endless annoyance.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
None really. I am what I am now because of what I’ve gone through.

Any interesting travel stories?
When I travel, I love to bargain and squeeze the traders dry. When they agree to the price I asked for, I negotiated further discount. I realized I pushed the limit a little too much when one Indian trader in Jaipur snapped at me, “Madame, you not only chop my hands, my legs and my head, you also throw my head outside of my shop! Your price, madame, NOTPOSSIBLE!”

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Many years ago, one rainy morning, after avoiding church for 2 months because I blamed God for my breakup, I finally dragged myself out of bed and drove myself to church. I asked God to heed my sign to prove that He will sail through the pain with me. The sign in specific – after the worship and before the sermon, I wanted the pastor to call me out. Just me alone. After the worship, the pastor walked toward the pulpit and pulled out a note from his bible and read aloud, “Will the car owner of XXX1234 come out and attend to your car coz your headlights are on.” I froze at my chair. That was my car plate number. So God is truly alive!

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
If you can be a superhero, which one would you choose and why?

Joe Blogs : I'd choose Superman. I like his range of powers, strength, speed, flight, able to freeze, and heat things. Batman has no powers just gadgets. I like the idea of saving people. And the cape of course. I'd have to listen to the Superman music By John Williams to gee me up, great theme music.

Your Site Address : Anjali Speaks

Joe Blog's Interview #88 A Norfolk Village

Name : JonnyB
Age : Under 40
Location : Norfolk, UK
Vocation : Ummmm... well I just sort of f**k about a bit, doing little bits of work and looking after a Baby.
Philosophy : I try to get through each day without causing a single death.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Through the life of a small Norfolk village we learn universal truths about mankind.

Why are you doing your blog?
It's 'what I do' now. I'm not sure how I got myself into this state. Originally it was a way to get in front of an audience. Now I'm pathetically desperate that the audience doesn't leave the auditorium. I've sealed the exits, and am nailing bits of wood across them at odd angles.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
This one, click here, sort of sums everything up about my life that you will ever need to know. I like it.

What is your writing style?
"A cross between Henry Root and Mr Pooter" - the Independent on Sunday. Not sure about the Henry Root bit. There is probably a bit of Molesworth in there, and stuff from other English comedic people. People like the Goodies, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring have always been influences - you can be childish and intelligent at the same time and that appeals to me. Richard Herring has a great blog.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I haven't a clue. I only know the bits they say to my face. Someone called it 'shallow' once, which I understood - it's about little tiny things and has jokes, rather than developing deep explorations of the human condition. People seem to find it funny, which is wonderful and great.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd probably be doing more stuff that, like, paid money.

Why should someone visit your site?
I'd hate for them to feel left out. Boom boom.

What did you learn from your first love?
It's better to open your mouth when you kiss. Or at the very least have the same sort of technique as the other party. If neither of you likes opening your mouth then that's fine.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Lots of them!!! If you want 'funny ones', Little Red Boat, and Non-workingmonkey are terrific writers. And Smaller than Life is brilliant - by a genuine comedy writer at the top of his game. And a mate. But I'd recommend him anyway. Honest.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Probably the characters from the pre-school cartoon 'Maisie'. They just all seem so good-natured and helpful, especially the crocodile, whose name is Charlie. And Nelson Mandela.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I am buying loads of things off the ebay recently. It is great!!! Call me an early-adopter if you will, but it will be massive.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I just went over the road because the burglar alarm was going off. I thought I might confront some burglars on behalf of my neighbours. But there was just a confused cleaning lady.

What's the best and worst aspects of the Norfolk village?
The best is the short walk to the Village Pub under totally dark starry skies. Dark is brilliant. The worst is the 30-mile round trip for a curry. If any Bangladeshi restauranteurs are reading this and thinking of expanding the business, please get in touch. NB no neon signs please (see previous 'dark' comment).

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I once had to stay late in the office to let in Jerry Dammers from the Specials - this was years ago. He wanted to use an Apple Mac, and I'd offered to help via a friend of a friend. I'm always rubbish in the presence of celebrities and was a bit star struck as I let him in and showed him how to use the computer. I really didn't know what to do at that point - I had to stay there like a lemon whilst he worked. I found myself being all 'forced casual', and actually started whistling nonchalantly. He was looking at me really oddly. It was ages before I realised that my nonchalant whistling was actually 'Ghost Town'. That story probably only makes sense if you are a Specials fan.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Probably get everything that you ever ever ever want to do in your life out of the way before you have a baby to look after.

Any interesting travel stories?
I went into Fakenham the other day. There is an Argos there now!!! It's exciting.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
There have been a million incredible things. I have been very lucky on the incredible thing front. I can't think of one particularly incredible thing to pick from the mountains of incredible things. Through a combination of them I have met some interesting people and done some interesting work and I didn't end up stacking shelves in Somerfield. That's pretty incredible. And we won the bowls league last year, and I got a trophy. Me!!! A trophy!!!

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
I really struggle at the difference between 'practice' and 'practise'. I know all the theory, but I have this complete blind spot. Anything you can do to help?

Joe Blogs : I can't help you. One is spelt correctly, the other is not. If you have a blind spot, practice makes perfect. Well that is the theory. By the way Jonny, be good!

Your Site Address : Jonny B's Private Secret Diary

Joe Blog's Interview #87 Shaolin Tiger

Name : Shaolin
Age : Less than 30 (just)
Location : Malaysia
Vocation : Hacker
Philosophy : Free Thinker

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's mostly about me, me and more me. But I also cover other more boring stuff like food/cooking, photography, travel, SCUBA diving, cars, movies, literature, politics and some other deep stuff like blog wars!

Why are you doing your blog?
I started it because I was moving away from UK to Malaysia and I wanted to keep a lot of what I was doing plus let the people back home know where I was in the world and what I'd been up to, rather that writing loads of mass e-mails they could just check out my site and see the pictures.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Definitely this one, The Hair Down There

What is your writing style?
Witty, scathing, sarcastic, egotistical, critical and very British so I've been told.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Most commonly is that it makes them hungry, or makes them want to travel somewhere, or makes them want to beat me up..

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
That's an odd question, probably spending more time on Flickr admiring my own pictures or writing on my photoblog.

Why should someone visit your site?
To read my great writing and to see my awesome pictures (you might learn something too..)

What did you learn from your first love?
That love can be sweet, and sour. Most of all, relationships are not easy.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Loads, more than I can list. I most commonly read my friends blogs, plus a few other international blogs which are great. All those I read every day can be found in my right sidebar under the header "Those I Stalk"

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Bruce Lee, to see if I could kick his ass or not.

What one website would you recommend and why?
To avoid all the cliche blogs (Waiter Rant, Post Secret, & Clublife) I'd like to recommend my friends blog, he writes very well, has a great passion for motorbikes (amongst other things) and has had a very interesting life. You can find him at Hunting The Snark

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I bought my Mom 2 pairs of new shoes!

How do you find Malaysia?
I love Malaysia, I've been here about 3 years now. It's an amazing place for food lovers, travel lovers and people who like varied cultures. It's a melting pot of different races, languages, religions, cultures and personalities. There are brilliant places within an hours flight too like the beaches of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. I recommend everyone to visit Malaysia (and look me up if you like).

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A while ago I was in my previous office block going out for lunch, I got in the lift to go down, and was bored whilst waiting...picking up people at various floors. So I looked around the lift and started to read the notices posted on the wall, I saw one for lost and found. Which is fairly normal right? Until I noticed someone had 'lost' a photocopier, I mean how the hell do you do that? "

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Don't be such an asshole, you don't know everything.

Any interesting travel stories?
Oh plenty, but better you read those travel stories, on my blog, they are kinda long :)

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I found a girl that can actually put up with me!

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
How did you find my blog? Do you read it regularly?

Joe Blogs : I found your blog in the dictionary under greatness. Whenever I'm in a geeky Kung Fu mood I check it out. I read it as religiously as a Shaolin monk.

Your Site Address : ShaolinTiger - Kung-fu Geekery

Joe Blog's Interview #86 Jack At The Top Of The Beanstalk!

Name : Jack Yan (IMDB & Wikipedia profiles!)
Age : 34
Location : Wellington, New Zealand
Vocation : CEO, Jack Yan & Associates
Philosophy : Confucianist.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's mainly a business blog on branding, leadership and the media, but like all TV shows that go on for too long, I start talking about the characters—in this case, me.

Why are you doing your blog?
Originally, to vent. There are more nutters on the planet than sane people. Now, I just do it as a way to chill out. Call it contributory escapism.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
I began keeping a personal blog, separate from the non-work one, and I would say these got some good feedback, Theories On The Disappearance Of Chuck Cunningham, & Business Idea. I am probably funnier in comments.

What is your writing style?
Probably “honest” with a dose of humility. More Cosby Show than Benson. More Sam Tyler than Gene Hunt. More Bodie than Doyle. Dad hates Martin Shaw. I should mention that.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Most of the feedback I get is positive, but to others, I am one of those nutters that folks write about on their blogs.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
I'd be going around the world pretending to be Richard Bradford in Man in a Suitcase. Which probably means I'd be hanging around Elstree Studios pretending I was going around the world. Come to think of it, I'd rather blog.

Why should someone visit your site?
To know that there are weirder people than them.

What did you learn from your first love?
I'm still learning from her.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Quite a few. Off the top of my head, Mark Allen's one is quite fun if you want to chill out. It's a dose of life from a mad Australian student. He may be the only bastard weirder than me. Speaking of weird, check out George W. Bush

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Lee Kuan Yew. That guy is smart. Maybe Sir John Major. That guy is smart. And Cmdr. Straker from UFO. Whaaaat? He's fictional? Damn. Obviously, on those counts, there are numerous politicians who would never get on my guest list.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I'd recommend any of mine, so my traffic and earnings from it can go up. Visit Lucire!

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Gave a guy on welfare some tips on how to start his own business. That man is now Sir Richard Branson. OK, he isn't. But if he becomes a greeting-card tycoon, I am hitting that boy up for a loan.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
We were at a Japanese restaurant once but we had a Chinese waitress. I said to her, 'So, are there real Japanese chefs back there?' She said there were. 'Out of curiosity, do you ever chat about, oooh, let's see, randomly, history? And do you ever cover the period from, let's say, oooh, 1933 to 1945?' Diplomatically, she didn't answer and tried to get through the order, but someone kept bringing up the war. If the waitress was Japanese, I suppose we would have got to, 'You started it.' 'No, you started it, you invaded Manchuria!' A chap called John Cleese once adapted my story for one of his sitcoms. I forget which one.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Don't be too guilty about going out with a girl in her late teens when you hit 30, because you've got the excuse that she looked a bit older.

What is the key to business success?
Being yourself and getting rid of all your negative influences.

Any interesting travel stories?
I slept on the couch at a student flat in Germany once. (One of the students was returning a favour.) The thing was, everyone in that flat had either been to New Zealand, or was at the time in New Zealand. So, here I was, in Germany, where there are posters of Lake Tekapo and all of New Zealand all over the place. And student flats all over the western world look the same (wallpaper from The Sweeney, 60 W bulbs lighting the place). It was just mind-boggling. I'm sure there were moments I didn't know whether I was on Aro Street in Wellington or in the BRD.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Falling in love, and that a girl can have all the qualities I've looked for.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Is Grandpa Blog's blog still around?

Joe Blogs : No, the hieroglyphics wasn't working out for him. Only mummy could read it.

Your Site Address : Jack Yan

Joe Blog's Interview #85 Kite Flyer Cassie!

Name : Cassie
Age : 24
Location : Austin, TX
Vocation : Kite guru and advisor of tethered aviation (...I sell kites, OK?)
Philosophy : Life is short, try to catch as much as you can!

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's kind of a journal, kind of a photo log. It's a place to put my thoughts.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because I needed my own little corner of the web to put my thoughts. I like having people leave me comments with their thoughts, and it gives me a spot to talk about the pictures that I take. 99% of the times, it's the pictures that spur my thoughts in posts.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
At&T Can Kiss My... It's kind of a sarcastically funny post. It covers a series of conversations with the idiots at AT&T.

What is your writing style?
Stream of thought. I generally write a post off the top of my head, proof it, and then after I post it I double check for formatting stuff. I don't do the "Oh, an idea! Write a little and save a draft!" thing. That requires too much planning.

How much would you sell your blog for?
100 million dollars. No, really, I don't think my blog is worth much to anyone but me. So, I don't think I would sell it... no point really. But, if you REALLY wanted to buy it, let me know. We can work out something.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That they love my pictures and stories about the travel I've been on recently.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because I'm f-in RAD. And really, I have some crazy s**t go down in my life, if anything you can read about lingerie parties (coming soon, the party is this weekend) and Mexican Martini nights, because that's how we entertain ourselves in Austin. And other times, you can read my sarcastic thoughts on life and work and human rights. Whee.

What did you learn from your first love?
Not to trust men. (Or really, not to trust him. Asshole dumped me on my Birthday. My BIRTHDAY for gods sake. Who DOES that? Which reminds me of a topic for a future post.) But really, he completely destroyed a lot of my confidence. It took me years to not be afraid of being hurt again.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Too many to count. Check out my links, or email me. I'll send you a complete list of my blogs bookmarks. There's probably about 50 that I've got bookmarked, and I check them all at least once a month.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Well, first off, I'd invite your mom because I heard she's QUITE the hottie. Other than that? It depends on who is footing the bill. Because, if some unknown millionaire wants to host a dinner party on my behalf, I'd probably invite everyone I know. There's so many people all over the country that I've lost touch with because I have a habit of moving 2000 miles away every few years. As a result, there's probably about 50 people specifically (and people that they'll remind me that I forgot) that I'd love to bring together. But in reality, I've had a plan for years that when I'm independently wealthy (HA) I'll buy and island and import everyone I know (and like) there. That way we can grow some corn or something and have a good old time without having to pay airfare to visit each other. Sound good? Someday, it will happen and at that point you better hope you made it onto the list! Because, really now. Who wouldn't want to live on an island with a bunch of people that only I knew in advance?

What one website would you recommend and why?
Jason Mulgrew That's the one blog that I read religiously and it cracks me up pretty seriously. I'm kind of mad at him right now though... he hasn't posted for like a week.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
My cat and kitten are completely in love with each other and as a result always do everything together. I mean, they even walk through my apartment next to each other and stop at the same places to check stuff out. The other night, I cleaned out the litter box, and then watched them both go into the closet (where I keep the box) together and supervise bathroom time for each other (seeing if everything came out alright). One was using the box itself while the other was sitting on the empty litter container next to the box. Then they switched places. I couldn't stop laughing. My cats are such freaks, but I love them.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
"Honey, don't worry about the music school. It'll be OK. Go take some interesting classes. Oh, and when dad suggests to get a job in a kite shop this coming summer, you may want to carefully consider that option. Because in 5 years (seriously, its been 5 years) you may wonder what happened and how you got to this point in life."

Any interesting travel stories?
Too many to start! I travel probably 6 - 8 times a year, normally for kite events. Kite events are stories all of their own. I'm generally the youngest person there is who is in the "industry", not to mention the youngest non-married woman by at least 10 years. Oh lord, some of those old kite dudes get kind of weird (think burnt out hippie who is obsessed with making things fly and gets side tracked by that 'nice young lady'). But, it's so much fun. Plus, the road trips! I have a habit of driving straight through rather than stopping for a night, as a result I know that 18 hours is my breaking point for how many hours I can be in the car without losing it. How many people that you know have been on enough long drives to know that 18 hours is their breaking point?

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I've had some very lucky times. To pinpoint one would be almost impossible. There was this time that I got high with a roommate in college and went to a campus BBQ for free food. They were having a drawing for everyone who showed up and I ended up winning a DVD player. S**t, I thought the food was the prize that day! That DVD player just finally died a few months ago. Now I use my X-box.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Cheesy response, or serious? Because the cheesy response would be World Peace, but I mean it too. I'd LOVE to see the world in a situation where violence wasn't the immediate response. But, for real? All I could ask for is the means to be financially stable for the rest of my life. I don't need a ton of money, but I hate it when I wonder whether or not I can afford to go to the doctor or take my boyfriend out on a date once in a while. I hate feeling broke all the time.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What was the first CD you bought?

Joe Blogs : I think it was 'I Shot The Sherrif' by Warren G. Closely followed by the reggae band Aswad. I must have been going through some weird adolescent phase!

Your Site Address : Eye Speak Photography

Joe Blog's Interview With Sharp Shooter #84

Name : Wyatt Earp
Age : 37 (Old Coot)
Location : Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Vocation : Big City Police Detective
Philosophy : Yell loudly and carry a big gun!

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's about 1,300 posts. Heh. Actually, I once described it as Rants And Ravings From A Philadelphia Police Detective. I post about everything from crime, to entertainment, to posts about fluffy little clouds.

Why are you doing your blog?
Well, if I didn't, I'd be sitting a top a clock tower with a sniper rifle. It's stress relief, and since I was Editor-in-Chief of my high school and university newspapers, it's something I love to do.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Every post is funny, damnit! Actually, since I am my own worst critic, I would let my readers be the judge of that. However, my recent post about Snow in Philly got some pretty good reviews.

What is your writing style?
I would describe it as a hodge-podge of snark and sarcasm, with sparse helpings of comedy.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I once asked my readers to give testimonials. Almost every one was filled with sarcasm and bile. I was so proud that I posted them in my sidebar for everyone to enjoy.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
As my wife is constantly telling me, I would be spending more time with my family. I stopped my first blog in early 2005. Six months later, I came crawling back. Blogging is addictive; like literary crack.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because I am the law, and I said so!!! Heh. Actually, I would suggest that people stop by, read a few selected posts, and decide for themselves. SYLG is not for everyone, but I have earned 77,000 hits since June 2005, so someone must like what I'm doing here.

What did you learn from your first love?
It is MUCH easier to meet girls when they approach you first. My first love (Tara) asked me to dance with her at a high school social. Whew! No pressure there.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
I visit those in my sidebar at least once a week, and love them all. I am lucky enough to be a contributor at Blogs4Bauer, and its popularity is amazing. I also like First In!, Fmragtops, Pay Heed to the Geek, and What Panda?

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
No contest : Theodore Roosevelt. In my opinion, he was the greatest President in American history. Police Commissioner of NYC, Nobel Peace Prize winner,Conservationalist,Teddy did it all.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I love IMDB. For a movie maniac like myself, it is the one-stop-shop for all things Hollywood. And it is a terrific database for those obscure movie quotes.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I saved a beached whale by removing a golf ball from its blowhole. Oh, that was a George Costanza good deed. A few days ago, Philly received a few inches of snow during a winter storm. My neighbors are elderly, and the missus and I shoveled their sidewalks. It would have been easier on the back if we had a snow blower, but what are ya gonna do?

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
It's a police story, so it is chock full of sardonic humor, but here is one from a previous post : Are you having trouble with the BMV? Are you perilously close to having your license suspended? Do you run red lights with impunity? Well, fear not, the Philadelphia Police Department is ready to help. One of the more common reports my detective division is receiving involves identity fraud. Of course, in the crud hole that is my division, the toads are taking this one step further. These jackasses are reporting the following : Someone is using my identity when they are getting pulled over, and now I am getting the traffic citations! Right. Strangely enough, some portly detective is running around town saying he is me, when in actuality, the real me weighs about 120 pounds. The trouble is that the officers are taking these reports seriously. Can you imagine? Hell, anyone can say that someone else is using their name and address when they get pulled over. I mean, who's going to be able to prove otherwise? Would you like to know why detectives rarely have the time to investigate crimes more fully? It is because we have to deal with nonsense like this.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Sleep with Anna Nicole Smith post haste! Her ovaries pave the road to riches.

Any interesting travel stories?
Except for a few jaunts to Canada with my parents, I have never been outside the States. My friends are going to the Davos Ice Hockey Tournament in Switzerland this December, but forces outside my control (read: the wife) won't allow me to go. Dang.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I was in an auto accident with the then-Miss America. Really.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Is English food as bad as I think?

Joe Blogs : A lot of the food commonly eaten is processed and uninteresting. There are some great dishes such as bangers and mash, toad in the hole, and of course the world famous English Breakfast. The hot desserts are great, sticky toffee pudding, apple pie and custard etc. There is a lot of choice available though, Chinese, Indian, Pizza restaurants etc.

Your Site Address : Sharp Shooters

Joe Blog's Interview #83 Buckley's Blog

Name : Julia Buckley

Age : 30

Location : London

Vocation : Rock Star – unfortunately this has so far been thwarted by the fact that I am unable to sing or play any musical instrument, but it is only a matter of time until I am discovered.
Philosophy : Take a chance, while you’ve still got a choice.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Me, me, me, and me. And cake.

Why are you doing your blog?
Attention seeking. Displacement activity because I’m too weirdly scared to work on my novel. Because I work from home and have no one to talk to. And a host of other psychologically healthy reasons.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
That’s a tough one. I think it’s hard to pick out what’s funniest of your stuff – that’s for other people to decide really.

My favourite posts are the ones that are funny but have a bit of a message to them as well. The Crumblies of Today, was a recent one about how older people are laying into young people because they’re not the way they were when they were kids. I tried to point out that older people are not the way their parents generation were when they were their age either – the world’s changed and so has everyone in it. Hopefully that came across as well as the humour.

What is your writing style?
I just say it like I see.

What do people commonly say about your site?
The other week someone said my blog persona is a bit like Alice from the Vicar of Dibley. I had hoped I sounded a bit sharper than that. There is irony in there if you look for it, honest.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Being much more productive and probably earning more money.

Why should someone visit your site?
I dunno – because they feel sorry for me maybe?

What did you learn from your first love?
Teenage boys smell a bit funny and don’t kiss very well.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
No. Only mine… Of course, loads. Too many to list here, check out my blogroll.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
God, a dinner party? Um, some supermodels I suppose – because I don’t cook. I’m thinking they’d probably be happy with a few crumbs, or some bird seed, or dust, or something.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I love Stuff On My Cat It just cracks me up. I probably find it a lot more funny than it actually is though. I’m like that sometimes.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Not invited any supermodels to a dinner party.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
People pay me to write. Ha! And I don’t even mind doing it. In fact, I really quite like it. Fools.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Learn to play guitar and join a rock band. Either that or become a spy. Also, I would tell myself all the lottery numbers so that I would know that my numbers were wrong and so I shouldn’t bother playing - thus saving a clear £1 each week. Just think, I would have £260 by now!

Any interesting travel stories?
Err, not really. My holidays mostly involve walking, and reading (because I am so rock). I made a pilgrimage to Woburn Abbey last summer though - see my post on, Tea Lovers Heroine.

Any writing tips?
Just be yourself for goodness sake. I find all the poncey-ness surrounding writing really annoying. It’s not some kind of mystical magical gift-from-the-gods, it’s just communication. And good writing is about good communication, so write so people can understand you – not to impress.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Ah, well that has to be the time when I was looking for a pen in my handbag and I couldn’t find one, but during my fumblings I discovered a Malteaser – what a chocolate-covered-honeycomb bonus that was.

Your Site Address : Buckley On The Blog

Joe Blog's Interview #82 Thriller In Manila

Name : Lizza
Age : Turning 36 very, very soon
Location : Manila, Philippines
Vocation : I write
Philosophy : It's a toss-up between Dum spiro spero and In vino beer veritas.

Sum up what your blog is about.
It's just my thoughts about anything and nothing--which pretty much covers almost everything.

Why are you doing your blog?
To unburden my mind of lots of detritus, which I then pass off to unsuspecting visitors. Haha!

What's the funniest entry on your site?
Everything there is funny. Oh, wait. Did you mean haha-funny? Then there probably isn't anything that's that kind of funny on my blog. I'm not exactly known for comedy writing.

What is your writing style?
Depends on my mood. Sometimes straight to the point, sometimes fluffy, sometimes emo, sometimes just plain silly, always personal.

What do people commonly say about your site?
The people I know have said that it's so me. Whether that's good or bad though, I have absolutely no idea.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd be reading others' blogs; it's pretty much what I do today. My friend Victor and I run some sites including Expat Interviews and Weight Loss Tips--and many of the people we've featured in our sites have awesome blogs. Maybe I'd also be doing some traveling, I've always wanted to do that.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because it's there. Oh, okay. For ummmm...some good karma.

What did you learn from your first love?
That being highly intelligent and a kick ass dancer and having Mickey Mouse ears do not a good boyfriend make.

Are there any blogs you enjoy reading?
Heaps of them. Humor blogs, insightful blogs, personal blogs, family blogs--I enjoy reading them all. But there are three blogs where the writing strikes a chord deep within me: Shout (by H in India), An Unreliable Witness (by a Brit blogger) and Thwarting Complacency (by J. Sony in the USA). I want to write the way they do when I grow up.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
The Mad Hatter (because he's a crazy but wise dude), and that elusive clique known as they--because they always seem to know everything.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Just one? Man, that's like asking me to pick just one book out of all the ones I enjoy.
But, okay. Thesaurus.com. Because all those words just excite the butterflies in my tummy. Yummy (the words, not the butterflies).

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I will NOT. And I think it's a good thing that I won't. :-)

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
A gay friend of mine was in a taxi, talking to someone. Suddenly he started groping for something in his bag, his pockets, his seat. "Shit!" he kept saying. "What's wrong?" his friend asked. "I can't find my cell phone!" Of course, he realized a few seconds later that he was using his damn phone talking to his friend. I don't even want to imagine what the cab driver thought about the whole incident.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Quit your job and start freelancing. NOW!

Any interesting travel stories?
Well, there was one time I really thought I was going to die. I was shaking, my palms were sweating, my skin felt clammy. I thought I was inadvertently going to do Number Two. My whole life flashed before my glazed-over eyes. That moment immediately preceding my first plane ride--takeoff!--was the longest ten seconds of my life.

How is life in Manila?
Life can be fast-paced, it can be laid back; depends on where you live in Manila and what you do. It's a vibrant, cosmopolitan city. Large parts of it are modern (read very Western and busy); there are also sections of overwhelming poverty. But I think we're a happy people as a whole. If you ever come to visit Manila, you should look beyond the problems to enjoy the gems--not the least of which are many of the people here.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
"Hearing my children's first wail immediately after they were born. Priceless."

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's the best and worst part about living in England?

Joe Blogs : Best part is it's multicultural, worst part is the weather.

Your Site Address : I Am Woman, See Me Blog!

Joe Blog's Interview #82 Bex

Name : Bex
Age : Closer to 30 than 20
Location : near the mountains
Vocation : Currently doing odd jobs...anyone need a dog walker?
Philosophy : orange is the new pink

Sum up what your blog is about.
Me. My hubby. My dog. Other random things.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because everyone else is doing it.

What's the funniest entry on your site?
So, I almost died I don't know if it's funny...but I almost peed my pants as I was recalling it.

What is your writing style?
I hate when people don't use proper grammar and yet, my entries are full of ungrammarable partial sentences.

What do people commonly say about your site?
It's very....orange.

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
Probably training to become a cage fighter.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because it's on THE Mr Joe Blogs blog!

What did you learn from your first love?
How to argue with someone and win.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I've always enjoyed Post Secrets --it makes me feel better about myself.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
All of my blog friends who I have not met in real life. We'd eat and chat, saying things like, "lol" and "WTH" in real life conversation.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Snopes! I recommend this to all of my friends who email me those stories... ya know the ones: "Man dies in his sleep from breathing in his own farts. Forward this email to 253 people in the next 5 minutes or you too will die this way."

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I let my hubby eat the last cookie even though I really, really wanted it.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Once I was sitting outside a store and some guy came walking out. He was pointing to his eye and screaming, "EYEBALL!! EYEBALL!!" If that's not funny, at least it's random.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
I would tell myself to get a degree in something I actually enjoy, even if it means a few more years of college.

Any interesting travel stories?
The first time I ever went to a beach, I had to wear a heavy winter coat...not quite what I was expecting in paradise.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
My handsome husband.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What is your favorite Skittles flavor (please say orange please say orange) ?

Joe Blogs : I must say I'm partial to the orange Skittle, they bring out the color in my eyes.

Your Site Address : Pale Orange

Joe Blog's Interview With His Grace! #81

Name : Archbishop Cranmer
Age : 518, but in very good health
Location : Canterbury, England
Vocation : Archbishop of Canterbury
Philosophy : Seek the truth while it may be found

Sum up what your blog is about.
Examining religio-political agendas with politico-religious objectives.

Why are you doing your blog?
His Grace just told you.

What’s the funniest entry on your site?
The intelligence and erudition of His Grace’s communicants display a proliferation of charm and wit.

What is your writing style?
Classically entertaining.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That it is addictive.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Writing sermons.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because whichever way you turn, you cannot ignore the religious dimension of life, and decisions taken on that have political implications.

What did you learn from your first love?
That one can be loved, wanted, needed, and that such a need makes the heart whole.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, but they don’t beat the Bible.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Jesus. Not for more wine, but because he split history in two.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Anglican friends of Israel, because Israel unjustly gets an appalling press, and is increasingly sidelined by the Church of England.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I do them in secret; the reward is greater.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
His Grace has an ordered and reasoned mind; nothing is random.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
His Grace was not then resurrected.

Any interesting travel stories?
Lots, but it would be like showing your readers His Grace’s holiday snaps, and he refuses to intentionally bore anyone.

Does God exist?
Most certainly.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Being burned at the stake in 1556. It hurt.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What is your spiritual inclination?

Joe Blogs : My inclination is more towards the Bhuddist philosophy. I don't profess to follow any religion though.

Your Site Address : Archbishop Cranmer

Joe Blog's Interview #80 Attylah The Hen

Name : Atyllah the Hen - Chicken with Attitude
Age : How rude! BaKaaaaK!
Location : Free Roaming.
Homeworld : Novapulse (Nova Pullis... New Poultry - get it?)
Vocation : Secret Agent masquerading as a writer
Philosophy : Eat Tofu or Die!Sum up what your blog is about. My mission on Earth is to observe and comment on the human condition. My blog is my means of providing feedback to Novapulse High Command and the Allied Federation of Intergalactic Associations.


Why are you doing your blog?
Because I have to - orders, you know.What's the funniest entry on your site? Hmmm... Define funny. Humans have very strange ideas about funny. The post about Granny discovering the Romping Rabbit seemed to make them laugh a lot and certainly generated some very strange Google searches...

What is your writing style?
Fast and loose.What do people commonly say about your site? "It's great!" "You're so brave." "OMG! You make me laugh!" "Take me back to Novapulse." "I love your Granny." (If only they knew what it was like to live with a werechicken granny...)

What would you be doing if you weren't doing your blog?
I'd be back on Novapulse pushing paper - the punishment for failing my mission to Earth. I might also be writing my memoirs about my time amongst homo sapiens... Now that would make for one remarkable tragi-comedy! And it would form a whole new genre of chicklit...

Why should someone visit your site?
They might learn something about themselves and humanity per se. They might even get to laugh... They might wake up...

What did you learn from your first love?
Keep a vacuum cleaner next to the bed for when the er... feathers fly...

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Oh yeah. Lots. Have you got space for me to list them all? It might be easier to take a look at my blog roll.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
The Supreme Being of Andromeda. I like gleaning wisdom. Failing that, the Dalai Lama. The wisdom thing again. Besides, wise humans are so rare...

What one website would you recommend and why?
Google. I'd be lost without it. You have no idea how tough it is to get a handle on the insanity that is humanity.

Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
I'm still busy doing it. Saving humanity from itself. But it's a tough job - possibly a hopeless one...

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Well, there's this one about what Granny did to a chicken farmer at the last full moon... Nah, humans, and chicken farmers in particular, probably wouldn't find it that funny.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Avoid all missions to Earth.

Do you eat KFC?
AAAAAAARGH! How can you ask a chicken a question like that? Are you insane? Oh, hang on, you're a human, of course you are...

Any interesting travel stories?
Oh lots. When you zip around the multiverse in a small space pod there are no end of interesting things that happen.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
This is going to sound sappy, but I'll have to say it was meeting Chicken Man. See, I have got a heart.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Would you be willing to visit Novapulse for a bit of social experimentation and if so, why? If not, why not?

Joe Blogs : Although the trip would be finger lickin ' good, I think I will decline. With my track record in eating chicken I don't think I'd be too welcome.

Your Site Address : Attylah The Hen

Do A Random Act Of Kindness

The idea of this post is that people tell us about a random act of kindness they have experienced and it then hopefully inspires someone else to do a good turn. So tell us about what you have experienced, and I'll publish what the good deed was on my blog. Be anonymous if you want.

Let's inspire others to do Random Acts Of Kindness.

Good deed #1 Joe Blogs
I have donated £5 to the charity, Save The Children, to start the ball rolling.Apparently that money could provide a mosquito net to prevent children in Thailand from contracting dengue, but the money will go wherever the need is greatest in the world.

Good deed #2 Lucky Snap
LuckySnap's random act of kindness for the day: I was playing with my daughter at a local mall when I over heard a woman tell her daughter that she forgot her wallet today so she did not have any money for her daughter to play on the rides. So I dug 75 cents out of my wallet and gave it to her so that her daughter could play. It was only 75 cents, but the little girl had fun and it put a smile on my face.Thanks for writing this post Joe!

Good deed #3 Lewis at Spirit Of Saint Lewis
My partner and I were in a Shari's Restaurant (just a family place) having dinner when I was reminded that my own dad used too, occasionally, pay for somebody's bill in the restaurant. So I thought we'd try it. There was a table of people behind us, we couldn't see them at all, just hear them. And I just felt like it was time to try it out. So, I said the the young, brand-new waitress: May I please have the bill of the next table. She didn't get it at all and initially told me "no," I couldn't pay their bill. She finally got it figured out and gave it to me. Now, I asked her to not say a word....completely mum on the deal.....But before we could leave, the next table was looking/waiting for their bill and asked her where it was. She just said it right out to them: "The guys at the next table have it and are going to pay it." Oh my god, I couldn't believe it! So, I hear the lady say "Well, let's just go over there and see who they are." They all three came over, questioning looks on their faces, and eyeballing the two of us gay dudes trying to pay their bill. Then, they break out in big smiles and laughter. And THEN they start saying "It's nothing but Jesus, it's nothing but the Lord....oh, praise Jesus......oh, praise Jesus.....it's just nothing but the Lord!!!" So now, the whole restaurant is in on it....and they are staring and looking....and trying not to. So, they left happy. We left (slightly) embarrassed (and I rarely/never??? get embarrassed). But it was the right thing to do. We've tried it again, with a little more success on keeping it quiet.

Good deed #4 Heidi, from Oregon
I'm in a moms group for women who were planning to have babies in July 1999 -- some babies came earlier, some later, and a core group has continued to correspond through the second and even third babies to follow. Two months ago one of our members was preparing to welcome her sixth child when she received the news that her husband had had a terrible accident in his semi, not his fault but he ended up losing his job over it. We don't know the family's entire financial situation but she has worried to us about losing her house. Our group has adopted the woman's family for Christmas, and we're planning to send her a gift card to use however she wants, as well as individual presents for the children.

Good Deed #5 Tony
"I will be so glad when school is over and I am back working. So much of my life has changed including the way I look at and handle the holidays. I use to always find a couple of children or families to donate Christmas presents to , etc. but that 'spirit' has gone over the past three years or so of school. I do need to find a way to get back into it. And I realize the acts can be as simple as a hello to someone I might rarely if ever say hello to. Thanks for posting this."

Good Deed #6 Graalguy
I frequently go to this fast food shop to have coffee. As I enter, I overhear three preteen boys counting their money. One boy has nothing to "put into the pot," so they are short and don't quite know what to do. These kids are not from homes where there is money. They would not be in my neighbourhood if they were well-off.They won't eat unless they all eat. They don't even notice as I drop a $5 on the floor behind them. As I pass, I tell them that they dropped some money on the floor and they should be more careful with their money. They get very quiet and then rush to eat. I go sit with my friend Joann and have coffee. She asks me why I'm smiling. I don't tell her that I'm smiling to keep from crying.

Good Deed #7 Shaney
A great idea!!Kindness has always been apart of who I am, & in the past I have always done level best to help others without expectation, it is a wonderful feeling when you see the expressions on the faces of those you have willingly aided without having been asked.Hope the word spread, Joe!!

Good Deed #8 David Dragon
"I'm all for a little magic or mysticism with my Motorcycling so here's a little for your enjoyment and edification. The Guardian Bell Legend goes that a small bell attached to your motorcycle, close to the ground, catches the Evil Road Spirits. The little Gremlins that find your motorcycle try to cause all kinds of problems for you. The cavity of the bell attracts these Evil Spirits and the constant ringing drives them insane and they lose their grip and fall to the ground creating pot holes wherever they land. The legend further goes that one should not purchase a Guardian Bell for ones own Motorcycle as this renders the Bell ineffective. Instead, you should give a Guardian Bell to your biker buddy to protect them. It's a kind of Karmic "Pay it Forward" thing. Ting, Ting, Laters"

Good Deed #9 Attylah The Hen
I'm still busy doing it. Saving humanity from itself. But it's a tough job - possibly a hopeless one...

Good Deed #10 Archbishop Cranmer
I do them in secret; the reward is greater.

Good Deed #11 Pale Orange
I let my hubby eat the last cookie even though I really, really wanted it.

Good Deed #12 Wyatt Earp
I saved a beached whale by removing a golf ball from its blowhole. Oh, that was a George Costanza good deed. A few days ago, Philly received a few inches of snow during a winter storm. My neighbors are elderly, and the missus and I shoveled their sidewalks. It would have been easier on the back if we had a snow blower, but what are ya gonna do?

Good Deed #13 Jack Yan
Gave a guy on welfare some tips on how to start his own business. That man is now Sir Richard Branson. OK, he isn't. But if he becomes a greeting-card tycoon, I am hitting that boy up for a loan.

Good Deed #14 Trollop 23
I was a battered wife for some years before I managed to escape with my 2 daughters and little else.Now that I have a steady job and some security, I buy new clothing or housegoods every month to donate to the Women's Shelter that took me in.I also open doors for people who have their hands full, give my seat on the bus to the "little old lady", and ALWAYS tell someone if the tag on the back of their shirt if it's sticking out.

Good Deed #15 Shaolin Tiger
I bought my Mom 2 pairs of new shoes!

Good Deed #16 JohnnyB
I just went over the road because the burglar alarm was going off. I thought I might confront some burglars on behalf of my neighbours. But there was just a confused cleaning lady.

Good Deed #17 Anonymous
When I was sixteen, my sister was a new mom and a newlywed and incredibly poor. I was at her house one day to watch the baby and realized that she didn't have any food at all in the fridge. Just baby formula. So when she wasn't looking, I crammed all of the money that I had (it wasn't much - probably under twenty dollars) into the bottom of her purse. i knew she would find it when she was looking for her keys and would think that it was hers.

Good Deed #18 Tisha
I’ve created a photoblog for a close friend and dang now he’s getting on my nerves.

Good Deed #19 Andrew Collins
Filled my three bird feeders to the brim two days ago, so that the goldfinches, chaffinches, tits, robins and woodpeckers may feast to their hearts' content on peanuts and sunflower seeds, while the blackbirds, robins and lone pigeon may hoover up the bits that fall to the ground beneath.

Good Deed #20 Jennifer Jones
I decided to dedicate some of my blogging time to the individual needs of readers who contact me. Communicating with readers has been a big blessing in my life.

Good Deed #21 Kelly
I've been sitting here for five minutes, and I can't think of anything I've done recently that would truly qualify as a "good deed." I guess I need to work on that. I always smile at babies, and I tip generously.

Good Deed #22 John Baker
I chased a big pigeon away so a crippled blackbird could get at some crumbs.

Good Deed #23 Bruse Napier
These Americans on a hire boat had tried to run a 2 kWatt hairdrier on the inverter, and blown it. I switched it back on for them.

Good Deed #24 Mr Biffo
I helped a woman carry her pushchair up a flight of stairs. Also, I cured cancer.

Good Deed #25 Martin
I left a positive comment on a blog of a person who seemed to be having some problems and I think she appreciated it.

Good Deed #26 Gary Lawrence Murphy
I had a slsk chat request from a Korean tenor sax player asking to help find him a solid but affordable school for his next student visa visit, so I relayed the request on to some mailing lists frequented by some pretty hefty players, summarized the result and sent him back a reply.

Turned out he couldn't afford their recommendations, and decided to return to the berkeley jazz school.

Good Deed #27 Michael Allen
I do get quite a lot of correspondence from people who seek my help and advice on publishing matters. If I can, I provide that help. But some people you just can't help. One man called me a c**t and a t**t because I wouldn't read his book.

Joe Blogs : Leave a comment or email your story :) or visit my new site http://doarandomactofkindness.blogspot.com/

Joe Blog's Interview #79 Anonymous Lawyer

Name : Anonymous Lawyer
Age : 43
Location : Los Angeles, CA
Vocation : Hiring Partner at Major Law Firm
Philosophy : You can always bill more hours.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Giving readers a chance to see what life is like inside a corporate law firm, and demonstrating how lazy my associates are.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because it's the only way I can think of to preserve the last remaining shreds of my soul.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
Most recently, probably this one, Wall Street Journal

What is your writing style?
As serious as I am real. How much would you sell your blog for? A few billion.

What do people commonly say about your site?
See my reviews

Why should someone visit your site?
To take a break from their 16-hour day doing document review, or to read about the life they left behind when they decided not to go to law school.

What did you learn from your first love?
That love is fleeting.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I don't have time to read blogs.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Public interest lawyers, because they're too poor to afford meals and I am generous enough to share.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
The child labor laws.

What one website would you recommend and why?
My law firm's site.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
One time an associate went home for lunch. (I'm laughing -- you should be too.)

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
"Fire the guy with the funny-shaped mole. He's out to get you."

Any interesting travel stories?
I don't have time to travel except on business, and those stories aren't interesting.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Last year's bonus.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Better BlackBerry service in remote areas. And that's it -- everything else I could wish for I already have.

Your Site Address : Anonymous Lawyer & Anonymous Law Firm

Joe Blog's Interview #78 Mr Rant

Name : Mr. Rant
Age : ??
Location : The most miserable place on Earth (somewhere in England)
Vocation : Moaning
Philosophy : If something is bad, I'll write about it

Sum up what your blog is about.
Ever wondered if there is a different, better world out there? Well there isn't, so let's complain about this one.

Why are you doing your blog?
There are some things in life that just have to be blogged, no matter how silly they are. This is where I come in.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
That would be for you to judge ;)

What is your writing style?
To the point is how I'd describe it.

How much would you sell your blog for?
Ah I could never sell it *strokes screen*

What do people commonly say about your site?
You know what, I have no idea...

Why should someone visit your site?
I like to think that to someone, somewhere, my site is entertaining

What did you learn from your first love?
What do you think inspired the site?

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
It sounds weird but I'm not much of a blog reader, more of a blogger

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Richard Branson - to discuss Virgins

What one website would you recommend and why?
Traffic Light Wars - I've honestly never seen anything like it

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Some Americans actually think England and Britain are part of the United Kingdom

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
To start a website where you upload videos and call it YouTube

Any interesting travel stories?
Travel stories yes but they're not interesting I'm afraid

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
This interview, I feel blessed

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
What an awkward question erm... I'll have to wish for another question(JB : Keep on wishing!)

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
I used to wear your brand of clothing, does that make you proud?

Joe Blogs : I'm just an average Joe, I don't have a brand of clothing, so no.

Your Site Address : Mr Rant

Random Comedy Ramblings!

The world has changed so much since my last post. I've done more interviews than the Spanish Inquisition. Check out my archive. Including some questions with Royalty, Hollywood, a Dot Com Mogul and a Wannabe Astronaut!

In this post I've captured the crazy happenings in the world today.

Crossing the road listening to an iPod is set to become a criminal act. Listening to James Blunt could get you a £50 fine and a date in court. Some might say that's reasonable for listening to Blunt. It's common sense that you pay attention when crossing the road. But if you don't you could be shackled and have to shuffle into a police van. At least the life sentence for the battery won't be very long at all.

Richard Branson has offered $25 million to the person who can come up with an idea to get rid of greenhouse gases from the atmosphere. Al Gore is championing the idea as well, cramped Virgin Airways seating, now theirs an inconvenient truth. Airline owners should be able to splash the cash now that they are set to charge £100 for extra bags.

Harry Potter actor, Daniel Radcliffe will receive a £20m windfall on his 18th birthday. Currently single he hopes it will give him more luck with the ladies. He certainly won't need to do any magic tricks. It must be hard for him to know which girls are just after him for his money, but at the same time fun to find out.

Soccer player Thierry Henry was warned by police for disturbing the peace at an airport the other day. The French star was talking to his dad, and a fan was tugging his arm for an autograph. Henry was on the phone to his dad in the West Indies, and told the autograph hunter this, only to be told back, "I don't care". How can the police warn someone for talking to their dad on the phone? Nowadays, everyone has camera phones and surely that's much better than a signature anyway. It's like a fan coming up to you before you say your wedding vows, sign a business contract, while your in the toilet, taking a penalty, or deciding whether to snip the blue or red wire. These are not opportune times.

Those scams keep coming thick and fast in email. They are very polite and they ask you for personal information. I've never replied to one, but I've won the lottery in about 5 different countries now. Pretty impressive considering I don't play the lottery. Unless I've got a stash of old winning tickets down the back of the sofa that I forgot about. If I have I could buy a house for £500000, gift wrap it and give it to a loved one on Valentines like, Jasin Boland did. Gift wrapping a house, that's just ridiculous, and you can never top it next Valentines. Hows Mr Boland going to feel when his valentine turns around and says I drew you a picture, but I lost my art in San Francisco. I hope the previous tenants have moved out.

Speaking of potential winners, Judi Dench nominated for an Oscar this year won't be able to make the Oscars because of a knee operation. She could also win best supporting knee. I imagine she will go to a private hospital where they specialise in treating chocolate. When her twin sister visits, they will have to care for M&M. Bond could come and visit, M likes a double agent, though in a British hospital she'd be better off with a cleaning agent. Maybe they could do a satellite broadcast from Judy's hospital bed. And at the end pull the curtains round.

With the recent outbreak of avian flu, birds have been getting a bad wrap lately. Parrots in the news recently. An African grey parrot called N'kisi, has a vocabulary of 950 words. Smarter than some kids then. Also a parrot became sick because of carbon monoxide which alerted the homeowner to the danger. Smart birds. The Dixie Chicks won 5 Grammy awards too. Maybe instead of culling turkeys, they should get a flu jab. It is winter they need to keep warm, and be given a heating allowance by the government. Gas mark 5 should do.

In the news, North Korea is to end it's nuclear programme, I never saw it was it any good? I prefer 24, or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. It's a shame because I've never seen North Korean television. Though I heard it was explosive TV, and Sienna Miller was in it, The Factory Girl. I couldn't believe it when I saw that 6 nations had gathered round at a summit to discuss the programme. Why don't they start a book club as well?

Joe Blog's Interview #77 King Of The Blogs!

Name : King Negrito
Age : unknown
Location : Paris, France
Vocation : King of the Gritos
Philosophy : there’s nothing better to do in this world than sitting during a spring day at a café terrace in Paris, and enjoying a good glass of red wine while looking at the people passing by. Happiness is in doing.

Sum up what your blog is about.
The adventures of King Negrito, a 23 cm high leather bear that lives inParis and enjoys it for what it is good: fashion, intellectuals, parties, tourists, Parisian people... Of course, Negrito also travels a lot, and brings back sights and feelings from all over the world.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because there are so many things to say about Paris, so many moments of pleasure and joy to share, so many things to be seen in the world that I cannot hold all that in my small body, so I want to share it with all my readers, and if I make them smile or bring them a sparkle of joy, then I am satisfied.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
Without hesitation, I guess it is one of my latest ones, a videoblog. A French singer named Renaud (very famous in France and in the UK for his song on Mss Thatcher in the 80s) has made a recent song on the Bourgeois Bohemians also known as the Bobos. But I felt the images were missing, so I went in Paris to where the bobos are and decided to put the song in images. The feedback I had was that was really great.

What is your writing style?
May I say personal? I guess I use a very simple style, very influenced also by the French language, but, what do you want, I live in Paris, mon ami!

How much would you sell your blog for?
Can someone buy or sell happiness? Most probably when you think to chateau Haut Brion or Petrus, but I fear I am not moved by money, but by the quest to find and share a real pleasure. Of course, if someone want to sponsor my travels, I can consider a partnership, with a very open mind!

What do people commonly say about your site?
That it is fun, that the pictures are incredible, that I really have a cool life, and that they would love to come with me to fashion shows, hyperestaurant, private parties or travels all over the world.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Well most probably writing a book about my life while still enjoying living it, of course.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because all of us, whoever we are, need to smile at one point in a day.

What did you learn from your first love?
How to stand up, how to walk, how to run, how to fall. And how to rise again.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Many of them, I read at least every two day the 30 blogs that are on my blogroll. They are all different, but I do love them all.

Is it hard being a puppet?
It is very easy, it facilitate life. You can enter wherever you want without any invitation, you can drink the best wines without any hangover, you can fly first class without being noticed. And girls love kissing you on the nose or placing you near their heart.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
I guess I would love to spend an evening with the Prince Talleyrand. This diplomat worked for Louis XVI, survived the French revolution, then was a French diplomat for Napoleon, Louis XVII and Louis Philippe. His culture was huge, his mind lightning flash and his personality is fascinating. There’s no chance to be bored a single second when dining with someone like that.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Wikipedia, it’s “The” vault of knowledge. You can read it like a book, moving from any subject to something totally different; it is for me the current brightest proof of the fact that working together brings more than just adding each contribution.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I d not know a lot of funny stories, sorry, but I really enjoy a quote of Woody Allen: “I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Never refuse a good glass of wine, always enjoy the company of a pretty girl, be careful launching discussions with intellectuals, when you find a scarf you like, buy a dozen because you will lose it.

Any interesting travel stories?
So many of them I have, and some are on my blog. But a small one: When in Moscow my hotel was near the Kremlin, and I decided to visit the surroundings. The door guy asked me where I was going to, and I told him I just wanted to cross the street and the garden to go to see the Red Square at night. He smiled and told me I was not going to make it. I smiled back and said I would. I went out, made three hundred meters, turned and came back, he was right I was not going to make it, it was minus 33 outside, I nearly froze in less than 2 minutes. I came back to the bar and enjoyed some vodka.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Having two pages talking about my blog in a super hype fashion magazine“Dealer de luxe” and being quoted in the New York Times. As said one of my readers, if journalists start to quote Teddy bears, one can wonder where the world is going….

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Do you think that, in one or two centuries some students in universities will use your blog as a reference point to understand the strange and sudden burst of diaries that happened at the beginning of the millennium?

Joe Blogs : Your royal highness, I doubt it, but it'd be nice if they did.

Your Site Address : Gritoland

Joe Blog's Interview #76 GirlPunch

Name : GirlPunch

Age : 4.72 in dog years

Location : currently Baghdad Iraq, but normally Washington D.C., paradise for the bitter and lobotomized.

Vocation : I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you.

Philosophy : Don't get caught.

Sum up what your blog is about.

Mainly, its about little amusing things that I observe throughout the day or little bits of humor that float around my head put on the Internet for the entire world to find. So, basically it's like the internet equivalent of that side country road where people leave old couches and dump dead bodies.

Why are you doing your blog?

My therapist suggested I write a blog to let my inner feelings out. Just kidding, I was doing a tour in Qatar back in 2004 and was monumentally bored. So, what better way to kill boredom than to conjure up new and exciting ways to amuse people?

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?

Probably French guy stuff.

What is your writing style?

I can't come up with a witty answer for this one, so its just narrative.

What do people commonly say about your site?

It lowers their IQ.

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?

I would be a porn star, but lucky for you I do a blog.

Why should someone visit your site?

Ive been known to be funny on occasion.

What did you learn from your first love?

That If all women are like that, its gonna be a long life.

Ever punched anyone?

I used to punch a clock. does that count?

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?

Dooce, This Fish, Occasional Bitch

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?

Jesus. I have questions.

What one website would you recommend and why?

Postsecrets It'll give you a warm and fuzzy, and if it doesn't theres a good possibility that you're related to Satan.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.

I once arrested a guy named Elvis.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?

Duck.

Any interesting travel stories?

I once got drunk in Bahrain with the local cops.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.

Life. Its been an amazing ride so far.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Do you prefer Pie or Cake?

Joe Blogs : Can't beat hot apple pie and custard!

Your Site Address : Perfect Blend Of Crazy

Joe Blog's Interview #75 The Absent Canadian

Name : Michael Helms (the absent.canadian)

Age : 31

Location : Raleigh, North Carolina, USA

Vocation : Business Analyst

Philosophy : Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Sum up what your blog is about.

When I started my blog, it was intended to contrast my experiences as a Canadian living in North Carolina. Blogs almost always evolve with time, and I'd like to think my blog has become a meme for my various adventures in North Carolina ... not so much as a Canadian, but rather as a traveller and student of life.

Why are you doing your blog?

Blogging is the pamphleteering of the 21st century. I see it as one of the most dynamic and engaging ways to self-publish.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?

There's been a few hilarious ones, but the best is probably my rant about Southerners driving in the snow. I wrote it about two years ago. (despite my Canadian upbringing, I will be the first one to stay home in a snowstorm now)

What is your writing style?

I'd like to think it's humorous and witty without being slapstick or obtuse. I try to stay away from "rants" and rambling nothings, but I'm sure I've had my share of both.

How much would you sell your blog for?

It's not for sale.

What do people commonly say about your site?

You know, I really don't know. I often wonder why people come back and read it regularly (and I do seem to have a loyal following of readers); I guess something about my writing resonates with them.

What would you be doing if you were not doing your blog?

I'd still be writing copiously ... and looking for other outlets, like writing circles and such.

Why should someone visit your site?

This goes back to the earlier question about what people say about my site. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure why someone should visit - other than to say that there's some good writing there that might bring a smile to peoples' faces. I'd like to think that I write about interesting things, and may even help people learn about things they didn't know a lot about. I guess that's the best I can hope for - that people learn something new from reading my blog.

What did you learn from your first love?

How to kiss, mostly. And that I don't like riding horseback. (I'm not trying to make some weird sexual reference, either. She was an avid rider, and took me out riding once or twice. I hated it)

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?

I keep my blogroll up-to-date, and regularly read all of them. Right now my favorite is probably Old Guy's Tree House

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?

Ouch. If I'm limited to living people, it would be David Suzuki (Canadian environmentalist), Luigi Colani (German artist and designer) and Silver Donald Cameron (Canadian author). They are the first three that come to mind.

What's your dream in life?

To travel, to meet people, and to experience as many things as I possibly can.

What one website would you recommend and why?

Wikipedia. We don't think of encyclopedias as dynamic, organic entities, but that's exactly what Wikipedia is, and I think it's fantastic. Every kid should be required to create one thoughtful, well-referenced page on Wikipedia before graduating.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.

In my first year at Trent University, a fire alarm caught me in the shower ... all I had with me was my towel and my soap-on-a-rope. I wasn't allowed to return to my room, and had to go outside wearing just that - a towel and my soap.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?

If you get the urge to do something, do it. The only things you'll regret are the things you don't try.

Any interesting travel stories?

Walking around the pyramids in Egypt. Getting lost in the streets of Amsterdam. Hiking around the ruins of Helmsley Castle in England. Driving to the Northwest Territories through the wastelands of Alberta. Stopping to look at the moose on my way to Timmins, Ontario. Riding through the countryside in Cuba on a rented World War 2-era motorcycle.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?

That's easy. When I was 17 years old, I went for a motorcycle ride ... and ended up at Petroglyph Provincial Park near Peterborough, Ontario. The ancient rock carvings moved me - so much so that I decided to study anthropology in university. It was one of those pivotal moments in life that shaped almost everything in my adult life ... and I'm thankful for the experience.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Why me? I'm always curious to find out how people ended up at my site, and what compelled them to leave a comment. Do share!

Joe Blogs : Simply, it's interesting reading about people who have travelled, and you have a nice writing style and good humored posts :)

Your Site Address : Mike Helms

Joe Blog's Interview #74 Wannabe Astronaut

Name : Damaris B. Sarria
Age : 25
Location : Orlando, FL.
Vocation : Engineer working on the Space Shuttle's Thermal Protection Systems at Kennedy Space Center.
Philosophy : Always try your best at all you do!



Sum up what your blog is about.
Ever since I was young I have wanted to be an astronaut. My blog is about the great things I am working on, the obstacles I encounter, and my outreach to the community as a space advocate to get others involved and support the space program.

Why are you doing your blog?
I started my blog the day I began working at Kennedy Space Center. I am very fortunate to be where I am today and have overcome many obstacles along the way. The reason I created my blog was to encourage others to continue after their dreams/goals no matter what others may think of them.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
nothing funny.... :(

What is your writing style?
Personal, honest, and from the heart.

How much would you sell your blog for?
There is no price tag when trying to inspire others.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I have received positive feedback on the site. A comment that really touched me was this one: " As busy as you are, I very much admire the fact that you constantly give back, and strive to inspire others. Keep it up!"

Why should someone visit your site?
To see how I am involved in the Space Shuttle processing and for a little motivation...

What did you learn from your first love?
I learned to not get sidetracked from personal goals and to not let a person change who you are and what you like to do.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
If a comment is left on my blog, I'll visit that person's blog. But I usually don't have enough time to go browsing around other blogs.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Anderson Cooper. He's lived a tough life. And his way of reaching out and informing the community is by going to the source, even if it means putting his own life in danger. I really admire him for all he has done and continues to pursue.

What's the toughest part of training to be an astronaut?
Once an astronaut is selected, I personally would think the toughest part of their training would be the survival training.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Space Flight Now When mission time comes around, that website is updated by the minute! It's amazing!

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
don't have one.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
ENJOY COLLEGE. I was too involved in college with organizations, sports, working full time, and keeping up with classes.

Any interesting travel stories?
I have been to Hawaii a couple of times. The view was breathtaking. The weather was GREAT! It really was paradise.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Flying in the 'Vomit Comet'!!! I did some microgravity research in college and conducted the experiment in the plane (KC-135) that did parabolic flight maneuvers to create a weightlessness environment in the cabin.

What would you wish for with 3 wishes?
1.To be an astronaut
2.That the boat fishing child slavery in Ghana, Africa ends.
3.For our younger generation to not be so hollywood-influenced.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What are your three wishes?

Joe Blogs : Peace On Earth. End Of Poverty. Happy Shiny People.

Your Site Address :How I Am Becoming An Astronaut

Joe Blog's Interview #73 Combat Baby

Name : Jami AKA: Ms. Babble or Combat Baby

Age : 10 + 32 – 15 = ?

Location : Illinois, USA

Vocation : musician/student

Philosophy : The masses are asses.

Sum up what your blog is about.
American Babble was originally created while I was deployed to Iraq with the U.S. Army. It was a way for me to communicate with all my loved ones while I was away. Since my return it's morphed into a personal account of my life with commentary on art, music, the ordinary, a smidgen of politics, and general ranting.

Why are you doing your blog?
It's turned into a nifty way of letting people know what's going on without actually having personal contact with them.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
Do the s***ty adverts count?

What is your writing style?
Narrative and non-fictional prose.

How much would you sell your blog for?
Sober? Not for sale.Intoxicated? I'd lose it in a game of pool.

What do people commonly say about your site?
"I had no idea you were so neurotic."

Why should someone visit your site?
The same reason people watch reality TV; for its wholesomeness, quality, and educational value.

What would you be doing, if you weren't doing your blog?
I would most likely be at the bottom of a bottle.

What did you learn from your first love?
Pain! Oh God, the pain!

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Oh goodness yes! Sand Monkey (Egyptian blogger. But don't be fooled by his location! Highly amusing.) Little Green Footballs (NOT about football/soccer. Mostly middle eastern politics but occasionally amusing.) On The Face (Israeli blogger. It's fascinating to read about other people's lives, eh?)

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
An Iraqi woman I met last year. Never did catch her name. But I looked into her eyes and thought, "Why the hell are YOU here?" It would awesome to break bread with her and chat it up. Here's a picture, I took of her.

What one website would you recommend and why?

Sirius Screw FM radio!

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
George W. Bush was elected president of the United States… twice!

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Sometimes fireworks aren't fireworks and what you think is hot isn't anything more than a spring breeze.

Tell us about your time serving in Iraq.
I created a whole blog specifically for this question! There were good days and bad. It could have been better, then again it also could have be worse. Check out my blog's 2006 archive for my journals from those dog days.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I have a feeling it hasn't happened yet. But for now, getting part of my blog published in the 2007 World Almanac. Page 12, baby!

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it somehow guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?

Joe Blogs : I would, as long as I was out cold and there was no pain. It seems a small price to pay.

Your Site Address : American Babble

Joe Blog's Interview #72 Don't Cry Over Spilt Coffee

Name : Tom Coffee

Age : 34

Location : New Jersey

Vocation : Writer

Philosophy : No.

Sum up what your blog is about.

Blogs are supposed to be about something? Damn.

Why are you doing your blog?

Partially for the prestige and the money, but mostly for the many, many chicks.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
The one where I call myself a writer. Based on web traffic it would be either "How Not To Write A Memo" or "The Name Game - How To Name Your New Baby." You tell me.

What is your writing style?
I like to use nouns and verbs, mostly. Some writers look down on this style, but I find it really gets the point across.

How much would you sell your blog for?
The real question is "Who would buy my blog?" followed closely by "Why isn't this person locked up?"

What do people commonly say about your site?
MY EYES!! OH DEAR GOD IT BURNS MY EYES!1!!

Why should someone visit your site?
How else can they find out how to give me large monetary gifts?

What did you learn from your first love?
No matter what you think that look means, goats don't like when you do that to them.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Lately, I haven't had, much, time, to, read blogs.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Melinda Gates because everyone else seems to always invite Bill to their dinner parties, leaving poor Melinda sitting around in her 66,000 square foot automatic house with the kids.
Marcel Marceau for the scintillating conversation. Dick Cheney for comic relief. And Jesus because he could save me some bucks on the wine.

After dinner we could all sit around making up wacky stories with tough moral questions and then play a rousing game of "What Would Jesus Do?" with Jesus giving us the real answer at the end of each round.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
My underwear. Twice.

What one website would you recommend and why?
I really enjoy: Pointless Waste Of Time because it pretty much explains everything. Period.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
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That's about as random as I can get.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
"Dude, if anyone ever bets you a million dollars that scientists won't invent a time machine in the next five years, take it!"

Any interesting travel stories?
None. I have never traveled outside of my home.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I went to my mailbox once.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Three more wishes.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What's in my pocket?

Joe Blogs : Chewing gum, cell phone, keys, loose change, and a bit of fluff.

Your Site Address : SpillingCoffee with Humorist Tom Coffee

Joe Blog's Interview #71 Meet Pixie

Name : Shelleigh, Pieshell, Pixie, Pale Blonde Hell

Age : 5 years older than I was on my 35th Birthday

Location : The Gap (between Mesa and Apache Junction Arizona)

Vocation : Mother, Engineer

Philosophy : Every single action you make comes back - threefold. Do good things.

Sum up what your blog is about.

My world : My child / children, life in general and how I am affected by it (very), my friends and our United States Service Members.

Why are you doing your blog?

I'm in engineering... I spend more time at work than I do otherwise... this keeps me connected to the people I love, the causes I endorse and gives me an outlet for my natural (naturally bizarre?) personality - the alternative would be to atrophy emotionally.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?

Honestly... the funniest entries are the comments. Jake and Soul Pumpkin keep things rolling. I'm just not funny...except my ears. My ears are funny.

What is your writing style?

Like this. I write like I speak.

How much would you sell your blog for?

How much would I sell myself for? M-kay? I wouldn't.

What do people commonly say about your site?

"Eclectic". "Comfortable". "Safe"... "I cannot believe how much time I waste at your site - the comments are so funny!"

Why should someone visit your site?

No one "should" visit my site... I encourage ALL people to visit my site however because it is not unlike hanging out in my living room. Anything goes as long as everyone plays nice and doesn't trash the place too badly. I hang out at the bar and mix drinks while others kick back and find like minded individuals or 'old friends' to chat with... if things get out of hand, I step in but that rarely happens. Everyone in the blogroll, all the readers are quality and creative people. I am inspired by my readers, not visa versa. Mi casa su casa!

What did you learn from your first love?

Oh my Gawd. Now you get all serious on me. Honestly - he gave me self esteem... before him, I was invisible. I didn't have LOW self esteem, I had NO self esteem. He showed me how to be a freaky-gothic-rebel-punk (and in the early 80's that was cool)... which paved the way for much self expression. We're still friends. I still love him. He's the hottest-shit Architect in San Francisco thank you very much.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?

See my blogroll. Every single one, every single day. Most frequented: Scribal Terror, Sgt. Hook, My Music Highway, Truth is Freedom, The Ontological Thermals and Ironic Sans. See? Eclectic.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?

My mom. My mom throws amazing parties - amazing dinner parties... she has NEVER seen the fruits of her labors - I am an observer. Martha, move the farook over (besides - she never used my grandmother's china and I would love to slap a burger on that antique plate and watch her gasp in horror)... * it's a plate mama, you put food on it *. ahem.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?

Whoa. Oh boy. Well... for one, I would change the color of the White House, it is terribly ...white. Time to update: I would bring in a little more "Granite" and "Solid Granite" (Dunn & Edwards) to soften the harsh edges and allow for the sunlight to play upon the contours of the ... you mean nationally? Globally? Oh. Let's not go there.

What one website would you recommend and why?

Post Secret. Because we all have them.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind

....comes to mind... telling my (then) 2-year old daughter that I was NOT going to buy her blue cheese (she liked the way it looked at the deli counter) because, "it tastes funky" only to have her tell the cashier, "Mommy doesn't like f***ing cheese". Guess you had to be there, but I'm about to pee my pants at the memory.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?

Do not, under any circumstances buy that house... (where I live) the neighborhood is going to be a ghetto in a year and the HOA president is a Nazi.

Any interesting travel stories?

Why yes! Landed in Nashville, TN in 1982 and watched my mother sign several autographs... people thought she was Barbara Mandrell. What the hell, she thought... so watch those BM autographs you buy on e-bay! ROFLMAO.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.

I had a baby. No seriously. That is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?

1. I would wish for 3 additional wishes.

2. No more terminal illness.

3. No more hunger.

4. No more abuse.

5. No more intolerance

6. No more hate.

7. No more war.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Why me?

Joe Blogs : You have got a nice kind hearted site.

Your Site Address : Pixies Lair

Stories To Make The Brain Tick

HI! Welcome to my post. Some interesting interviews with fascinating people feature on my blog, check out the archives!

Some interesting news for you in this post, and some ramblings for good measure.

Britain has the most burglaries and assaults in the whole of Europe. So we are the crime capital of Europe. More unlawful entries than a Floyd Landis drugs test, and more assaults than a Kevin Federline rap album on your ears.

Mars is stopping advertising to children under 12. Nice to see some corporate responsibility. The MD of Masterfoods probably called something like The Candyman, has probably started advertising in the womb instead, playing songs like sweets for my sweet and sugar for my honey. They could also start targeting horses with sugar lumps. A Mars A Day, Work, Rest, And Neigh.

Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess Of York, has revealed in an interview that she can’t get a date because men are terrified of her. Well anyone called The Duchess is going to be high maintenance.

A Nasa Astronaut, Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles in a nappy to interrogate a love rival. She told cops she wore a nappy so she wouldn’t have to stop, wearing a nappy is normal for astronauts on long journeys. She sprayed pepper spray in her rivals face, before the victim sped off. She had latex gloves and a gun, she certainly wasn’t going 900 miles to Florida to pamper her.

Edward Hutcheson was banned from driving for 6 months for driving while shaving at 70mph. Police reportedly saw him checking himself in the mirror to see if he was having a good shave. Sounds like he had a close shave with the law. Gillette, the best 6 months in jail a man can get. Surely no ones in that much of a rush that they have to shave in the car, why not floss as well, get dressed, hell just live in the car. It’s definitely a room with a view, and you can watch Blade on the in car DVD player.

Bausch And Lomb Pure Vision eye care have undertaken a study on the beer goggle phenomenon. The idea that you find someone attractive after a few drinks was backed up with evidence. But other factors come into play such as how smoky the room is, the lighting, eyesight, and of course how much alcohol is consumed. I found a paper bag helps.

A zoo in China is looking for volunteers to live as monkeys for five days. The idea is they will have to sleep in the monkey enclosure, and beg for food from tourists. The winning volunteer does get to be titled ‘The Loving Animal Ambassador’, which you must admit is quite an honor. Or maybe not. On this topic, living in a goldfish bowl, has anyone actually done that?

How disappointed would you be if you went to a zoo, and it was a human display? You just need to step out the door to see a human. You could go to get your money back from the sloth in the kiosk, if you can’t get a refund take it higher, to the giraffe. If you don’t have any luck, pay for an eagle eyed lawyer, after seeing a loan shark. And then if the pigs won’t do anything, buy yourself a Jaguar, and explore a K-9 submarine instead.

A Malaysian Chinese couple discovered they had taken the wrong baby home from hospital 30 years afterward. One of Zulhaidi Omar’s sisters had a chance encounter with him in a supermarket, noticing his features were identical to her fathers. Phil Collins probably would have said a long time ago, “He’s no son of mine”. The couple now plan to sue the hospital. It’s quite an incredible story, it’s not like picking up the wrong take away, or taking the wrong briefcase.

I don’t normally do this but there is a job vacancy available that I thought I would point out. Good at knitting? Appreciate the female form? Go here, Knitting Breasts Job Vacancy. I supplied my CV and am awaiting word back.

Joe Blog's Interview #70 Don't Neil, Do Stand Up

Name : Neil Crone (IMDB)
Age : 46
Location : Sunderland, Ontario
Vocation : Actor/writer/comedian
Philosophy : 'Thoughts become Things'

Sum up what your blog is about.
Anything and everything that occurs to me. I try to keep a positive spin on the world around me and to highlight things that make us feel good and keep us laughing at ourselves.

Why are you doing your blog?
It's sort of like an electronic journal. I've always been a journal keeper. Anything that makes us stop and examine our lives daily cannot be a bad thing.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
Tough one. Come and browse...you be the judge.

What is your writing style?
First person, very personal, conversational.

How much would you sell your blog for?
Make me an offer.

What do people commonly say about your site?
The nicest feedback I get is when I've managed to touch a chord within people. Usually dumb stuff that bugs all of us.

Why should someone visit your site?
For a smile.

What did you learn from your first love?
You can never have too much Penicillin.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I don't read a lot online. I'm a huge book guy.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Ralph Waldo Emerson. Brilliant man, wonderful heart and visionary.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
The USA.

What one website would you recommend and why?
The Secret.tv check it out and take control of your life.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
Two guys walk into a bar...weird that neither one of them saw it coming huh?

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Relax and enjoy every single moment. It's all good.

Any interesting travel stories?
I killed a scorpion in my garage when I lived in Riyadh.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
Having children.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Wisdom. Laughter and 3 blondes in a hot tub.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Why is reality TV still around?

Joe Blogs : People are interested in people, warts and all. Plus entertainment where you don't have to think seems to be flavour of the day.

By the way, impressive CV Neil, Pushing Tin with John Cusack, Cube 2 : Hypercube, and The Recruit with Al Pacino! And that's just the tip of the iceberg, also a Standup, and Writer.

Your Site Address : Neil Crone

Joe Blog's Interview #69 Sid's Getting Animated!

Name : John Pangia
Age : 59
Location : New Jersey, USA
Vocation : As Google would say, "Did you mean Vacation?"
Philosophy : Oh there's another big word, like that 'vocation' thing. OK, here's my philosophy... You have to take life seriously, it's a one-shot deal, but if you take it too seriously you'll miss it.

Sum up what your blog is about.
Sid in the City is simply a peek at how an average guy reacts to the world around him. His environs are a blue collar neighborhood in Philadelphia, a place where everybody still knows everybody else on the block, and most, but not all, are set in their ways. Anything in the news that would make me say "What the ... ?", Sid's going to have something to say about it.

Why are you doing your blog?
(See Picture Left)

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
Maybe Adoption or Scientology . It's really hard to say, but people who seem to be full of themselves tend to get our attention.

What is your writing style?
That's easy, shoot from the hip. Consequences will fall in line later.

How much would you sell your blog for?

Not for sale. Sid, on the other hand, would sell anything for a buck. (See Below)

What do people commonly say about your site?
There aren't a lot of comments made on the Sid in the City site, because Sid is also syndicated to Philly Future, which is where most people see him. Now there, whew..., say anything that can be construed as slightly right of center, politically speaking, and you've opened the flood gates. Quite naturally, Sid can't resist tweaking a few noses, and since Philadelphia is a very liberal kind of place [again politically speaking], he gets into some trouble there.

Why should someone visit your site?
Boredom, plain and simple.

What did you learn from your first love?
I wasn't old enough for all the complications, and I'm still not.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
A whole bunch, all listed on the website.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Stephen Hawking. Why? Because the universe, or more precisely, infinity, baffles me. Logically, it has to exist, and just as logically, it can't. For instance, if the universe were placed inside a box, would infinity be that box? It can't be, because it's, well, infinite, but it has to be inside of something, doesn't it, and if so what is 'that' something inside of? Got it? Nope, me neither, but Hawking is the only one I can think of that could come close to explaining it.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Google News. Pick a story, any story, and you will find hundreds, if not thousands, of variations.

Tell us a random funny story that

comes to mind.
(See Picture Right)

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Start enjoying the ride.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?

Judy [not to be confused with Sid's cartoon wife Marge] and I have 10 grandchildren between us. Now that's incredible.



Any interesting travel stories? (See Below)

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
First wish would be for 3 more wishes.
Second wish would be for 3 more wishes.
Third wish would be for 3 more wishes.
Now I've got 9, in case I screw a couple of them up.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What on earth made you ask me to do this?

Joe Blogs : I recognised you were a guy with an opinion, and a sense of humor as well. Plus your pictures crack me up.

Your Site Address : Sid in the City

Joe Blog's Interview #68 The Secret Of Life Revealed!

Name : Secret Simon

Age : Lickety squit

Location : Leeds, England

Vocation : Writer

Philosophy : We are all one - and the sooner we realize the better.

Sum up what your blog is about.

The secret of life (see below)

Why are you doing your blog?

I love writing and I'm fascinated by the meaning of life & that sort of stuff. I put the two together and out pops a blog.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?

I'd like to think it's my beautifully crafted piece of comic prose about how untidy I am, The Revenge Of The Slime Monster. But I suspect it's really Some Days You Eat The Bear, which is basically just a link to a picture of a tabby cat chasing a big black bear up a tree, which has to be seen to be believed.

What is your writing style?

I try to be entertaining.

How much would you sell your blog for?

My first reaction was "not for sale" but I suppose if I got a reasonable offer, I'd sell it and then start it up again with a different name: something like The Secret Of Fred, a bit like a tribute band.

What do people commonly say about your site?

I'd be the last to hear.

Why should someone visit your site?

To discover the secret of life (see below).

What is the secret of life?

Oh god, now you put me on the spot. OK then, here we go! The secret of life is that we are all One: all we humans and all living things and everything in the universe are all part of a field of living energy.

What we think of as 'us' isn't really us at all but our ego, which has its uses but likes to get off on giving us all a hard time by telling us that we'd better watch out because everyone else is out to get us. It does this by chattering on in the background all the time, like a TV that's tuned to a program you hate but can't switch off.

What we need to do is to cut that out and pay attention to the present moment instead. Feel the silence. Feel the energy. Feel what's *real* for a change. Then we can all stop killing each other and chill out and start enjoying life instead, which is what we were always supposed to be doing anyway. We need to make this change soon, before we wipe out the human race - so come to my blog right now and find out how. (Brief pause for breath) One important note: You don't have to *believe* any of this. I'm not trying to start some new religion here. Just come along with an open mind and see what you think. Do any of these ideas feel *right* to you?

Try some of the stuff I suggest on my site and see how it makes you feel. This isn't about being told what to think. It's about discovering the truth for yourself. Some of my posts you might like to start with are 'Waking Up', 'Feeling What Is', 'How To Deal With Difficult Emotions' and if you want to know how this all ties in with science, which it does (kind of), 'The Nature Of The Universe'. You'll find links to these posts in the sidebar of my blog. Check out the latest post, too.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?

All the links in my sidebar. Go and give them a try. Most of them are based around either spirituality or humour, and occasionally (like my blog) a mixture of both. I particularly recommend Goodness Graciousness for a feel-good spirituality blog, The Battle Rock Spot for some quirky, thoughtful posts, and Smaller Than Life for humour - except that Salvadore at Smaller Than Life hasn't linked to me so I won't mention him. I'd also like to recommend The Accidental Blogger for a really good funny blog that seems to be overlooked. The A B seems to be AWOL at present but go and read her archives and leave her a comment or two - it might get her started again. But all the blogs I've linked to are great or I wouldn't have linked to them. Read them, read them!

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?

It'd have to be Jesus, I guess. I'd want to ask him why he spoke in parables so much of the time. If he'd spoken more plainly, it could have saved a lot of trouble.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?

I'd have to change my nationality first.

What one website would you recommend and why?

Space And Motion is fascinating: lots of quotes and info regarding science and philosophy and the 'secret of life' sort of stuff I was ranting on about above.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.

I can never remember the damn things.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?

They won't want to buy your novel.

Any interesting travel stories?

'Into The Heart Of Borneo' by Redmond O'Hanlon. It's very funny. (Yes - I deliberately misunderstood you.)

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.

A sudden awareness of the oneness of all things, just as I was standing around, minding my own business.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?

1) Consistent awareness of the secret of life (as described above)

2) The same consistent awareness for everyone else.

3) The genie to take the third wish away.

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

What is the funniest book you have ever read?

Joe Blogs : Probably The Twits by Roald Dahl, or Catch 22.

Your Site Address : Secret Of Life

Joe Blog's Interview #67, 70's Cinema Girl

Name : Lilla
Age : 23
Location :NYC
Vocation : Neuroscience
Philosophy : Queen of tight sweaters and loose morals. (Tag line for Shanty
Tramp)

Sum up what your blog is about.
I write about movies, largely genre cinema, B-movies, independent movies, and of course horror, which is sometimes all of those things.

Why are you doing your blog?
I have an undergraduate degree in film and love watching movies, and talking about them. I figure if I have an outlet like this, maybe I won't talk my friends' ears off as much.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
I wrote a rant about the Da Vinci Code(the book, not the movie) called ' have some shame' that people seemed to find funny. I hope that I will be funnier in the future.

What is your writing style?
Hmmm.. I don't know. Competent, I hope.

How much would you sell your blog for?
$1? Why, you want it?

What do people commonly say about your site?
People seem to like my writing style, and I hope that some are interested by the content. My genuine hope is to raise awareness about cult cinema.

Why should someone visit your site?
To find out about rare movies, engage me in a dialogue about cinema, or just for kicks when you're bored at work.

What did you learn from your first love?
Absolutely nothing.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Pam Grier, hands down. And I think you know exactly why.

What one website would you recommend and why?
pimpadeliconderland.com, because it's a great site about 70's cinema where you can read about and purchase rare films.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I once saw a bat sucking it's own dick. Is that a story?

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
'Watch more movies from the 70's' maybe, or 'break up with him NOW'

Any interesting travel stories?
On a recent trip to Sweden, on the airplane I was served orange juice. A few minutes later, another flight attendant came by with coffee. She poured the coffee into my half full orange juice cup and said 'It's all going to the same place anyhow' and walked away.

I'm also a member of the mile high club, we thought we were so smooth but when we landed the crew came up to us and congratulated us, and asked us if we wanted our picture taken. Ooops.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I had a boyfriend once who managed to get Jonathan Richman to call me on our anniversary, because we went to a Jonathan Richman concert on our first date. So getting a phone call from Jonathan Richman, that was pretty awesome.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
1) Unlimited access to all the movies I wanted.
2) That I had seen the Ramones live
3)I dunno, a fully operational bat cave?

Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Why do you blog?

Joe Blogs : I think, therefore I Blog.

Your Site Address :Lilla's Blog

Joe Blog's Interview #66 Creative Writer Extraudinaire!

Name : Shelby Patrick
Age : 30-something :-)
Location : Michigan
Vocation : Creative Genius!
Philosophy : Don't let the little things get you down.

Sum up what your blog is about.
A network for other writers to get valuable resources and information and for fans of dark fiction to be entertained.

Why are you doing your blog?
Because it's fun.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
Punxsutawney Phil's thread, just because that name is fun to say.

What is your writing style?
Dark and emotional.

How much would you sell your blog for?
It's not up for sale, even if it were the last blog on earth and someone offered me a trillion dollars for it. Although, I might consider renting it out.

What do people commonly say about your site?
It's informative and creative.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because I put a lot of time and thought into making it a site any writer would love.

What did you learn from your first love?
Be careful whom you trust.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
Yes, mostly other writers blogs, which are linked from my blog.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Anyone who learned how to make a living working at home with no business sense and no idea where to start so that I could pick their brain and perhaps earn myself a nice mentor.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Custompetimprints because it's a cool idea -- putting your pets photo onto shirts, mugs, hats, calendars, and more.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
There's a black hole under my dresser. Every time I drop something in my bedroom, even if I'm on the other side of the room, it gets sucked over to the dresser and disappears forever.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Stop procrastinating and get started on that freelancing lifestyle.

Any interesting travel stories?
I went to Chicago a couple of years ago, but the trip got postponed twice. It gave me the eerie feeling that I wasn't meant to go and I should have listened to my gut. The weekend finally arrived and I ended up in Chicago with my sister, her daughter, and my mom. Everything went wrong, from construction at the hotel and a stormy boat ride on the lake to the train almost derailing on the way home. It was the trip from Hell.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
When an editor contacted me and said she wanted to publish one of my stories.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
1. To be able to live a comfortable lifestyle working for myself.
2. For my elderly parents to be healthy and happy again.
3. To see the end of crime and terrorism.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
What would you recommend to someone just starting a blog to get returning visitors?

Joe Blogs : Write interesting content. Visit other peoples blogs that you like, and leave a comment.

Your Site Address : Writers Hideaway

Joe Blog's Interview #65 Wow It's John Chow!

Name : John Chow
Age : NA
Location : Vancouver
Vocation : Blogger
Philosophy : If all else fails, change the rules.

Sum up what your blog is about. The miscellaneous ramblings of a Dot Com mogul.

Why are you doing your blog?
It's a place to post thoughts and information that I wouldn't be able to post on my main site. It's also a good way to give back to the Net, since the Net has provided me with my current lifestyle.

What’s the funniest entry on your blog?
Proof That Girls Are Evil

What is your writing style?
Easy to read and not too serious. I like to make my post sound like I'm having a one on one chat with the reader.

How much would you sell your blog for?
$814,631.22. That is what the Business Opportunities Weblog says my blog is worth.

What do people commonly say about your site?
Most positive comments but there are some who hate what I have to say. And then there are those who claim I'm the root of all evil.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because they want to learn how to make money from the Internet and they want to learn it from someone who has done it.

What did you learn from your first love?
That I am a very patient man.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
There are a ton. Too many to list.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
Bill Gates because he is the other root of all evil.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
I would set up a flat income tax rate. The progressive rate places a disincentive to make more money.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Beside mine? I recommend Digg because they banned me.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
I whacked a bee and took a video of it.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Get on the Internet! Good thing I took it. :)

Any interesting travel stories?
When I was in Las Vegas for the 2007 Consumer Electronics Show, I stayed at a $3,000 a night hotel room.

What’s the most incredible thing that ever happened to you?
I started a blog and people actually came to read it.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Wishes are for people who say "Someday"

Joe Blogs : John Chow founded The Tech Zone in April, 1999 and is Editor In Chief. It is one of the largest hardware tech sites on the internet. Definitely my first Dot Com Mogul published on here!

Site Address : John Chow's Blog

Joe Blog's Interview #64 Pass The Buck, It's Jason Buckley!

Name : Jason Buckley
Age : 34
Location : Bay Area, California
Vocation : Graphic Artist/Management dork
Philosophy : "There's a fine line between clever and stupid" - David St. Hubbins

Sum up what your blog is about.
Well, my blog is about a whole lot of things. It started out as a live production diary for my first film. The film is a trashy underground political comedy, and when production wrapped I kept going with cynical, sarcastic and snarky political posts, getting angrier and angrier as the political scene here in the US got sh***ier and s***tier. Then about a year and a half ago I found out my wife was pregnant and I quit blogging while re-prioritizing my life. But with the political tide turning and people throwing their hats in the ring for the next presidential election, I couldn't resist starting it back up again.

Why are you doing your blog?
Partially to promote my film, partially to piss off people who I disagree with, and partially because I'm a giant attention whore.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
It's hard to say. There's about 3 years worth of material there and I can't even remember everything there. I did a version of The Aristocrats involving the Bush family and other prominent republicans on another blog which was particularly funny. I also have my film broken up into 11 episodes, all posted on the right hand sidebar, and I think the first 4 episodes are the funniest, then there's a bit of a second act lull, but it comes back hard in the third act.

What is your writing style?
Sometimes clever, sometimes angry, sometimes cynical, sometimes personal, most of the time sarcastic.

How much would you sell your blog for?
Somewhere in the low 5 figures, just enough to get the hell out of debt. But there are only so many Jason Buckley's out there, none of us are famous, and of the few who have contacted me, none have made me an offer for the domain.

What do people commonly say about your site?
When I quit blogging in the summer of 05, a lot of people had very nice things to say, but I've also had my share of flame wars on there. Unfortunately at some point during the year and a half that I was not blogging, I had lost all of my old comments.

Why should someone visit your site?
They've gotten tired of all the other opinionated asshats on the internet who think their opinions are worth being read by random strangers and figured maybe I've got something different?

What was the most valuable lesson you learnt working in politics?
Never put all your hopes into any political organization. At some point they'll always let you down.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
I really enjoy freakgirl.com/blog - she's one of my oldest internet friends. I got my dad started blogging and he's managed to build himself a huge following at budbuckley.com/blog - I don't read it as often as I should, but I always enjoy it when I do. I haven't read Nappy Diatribe in ages (url in my blogroll) but he is funny as hell.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
I'd say Howard Stern, but he's the first to admit that he's really boring off the air. So I'd have to take his hilarious sidekick Artie Lange who makes everywhere he goes into a raging party. He really enjoys eating, tells a great story, and is possibly the funniest man alive right now.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
What wouldn't I change? There would be sweeping socio-economic reforms, a complete overhaul of the criminal justice system, no more people going to prison for victimless bullshit "crimes," more privacy, cut taxes for the working classes and tax the churches to pay for it... but since the president can't really do any of that stuff, I'd probably just change the color of the White House. I think it would look more homey with nice wood shingles.

What one website would you recommend and why?
Demonoid if you have a bit torrent client, you can download ANYTHING from this site!

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
This guy walks into a talent agent's office and says "have I got an act for you!" ... oops, I probably don't want to do that one here. Anyway, my boss is a complete tool. He's a paranoid, angry, abusive little man with a Napoleonic complex and the early stages of full blown senility creeping in. So one day he's complaining to me about another guy there and he says "Mike's got a lousy attitude. I don't get it. I've called him every name in the book and that hasn't changed it."

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Buy a Mac.

Any interesting travel stories?
More of a travel observation... Graceland is kind of small, and really tacky.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
Well first and foremost I've got to say seeing my daughter born, but that doesn't make for as good a story as the second most incredible thing that ever happened to me.

About 2 weeks after moving to San Francisco, I took my acoustic bass to this spot in Golden Gate Park where they have impromptu jams. When I got there, I saw that there was some sort of production going on. So I went down the hill and started playing with the hippies and somebody came along and asked us to sign releases to be in a Santana video. So they set up a full mariachi band next to us, Santana's percussionists sit down, and out comes Carlos Santana. They shot video over the recorded track, but Carlos had his guitar amped and was doing his solos live. So between takes, he would jam out with the crowd.

At one point he goes into Third Rock From the Sun. He starts playing the bass line on his guitar and looks straight at me, the only guy with a bass, and gives me a nod. I kick in with the bass line, he starts playing the lead, and we were just locked in together, rocking out and sharing a musical moment. I get goosebumps just typing about it.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
1) Enough money to live comfortably and not have to deal with bulls**t. 2) Perfect health for my family 3) oh yeah, and world peace

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Who do you think would win in a fight between Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig?

Joe Blogs : Not knowing either of them I couldn't really hazard a guess. Probably Henry, Glenns more of a girly name.

Your site address : Jason Buckly

Read This First!

Hello, my readers, again I really want to thank both of you. I've had some interesting interviews on my blog, some saucy, some funny, always interesting. People have described their philosophies, their own favorite personal stories, and it has been a real eye opener. Not just people though, no no no, also a Zombie interview, even an interview with Jesus H. Christ. I've also answered peoples questions to me, sometimes blunt, sometimes witty. There is some thought provoking material on this blog. I'd encourage people to leave a comment, if you enjoy something that's written, or have something to say. It's always nice for everyone.

In this 'comedy' post I've taken a look at what's going on in the world so you don't have to, it's very nearly the definitive news source of our day. And I'm sticking by that. At this point I want to thank the former Iraq information minister, and OJ Simpson's lawyer for putting up a good defense for me.

So in some real hard hitting news, Pop Princess Kylie Minogue has split from her boyfriend after he was spotted with an Israeli model, and Lost star Michelle Rodriguez. Kylie currently in Britain was obviously not amused, that her relationship had been usurped by a Castaway. Life's a beach.

English soccer star Wayne Rooney has been voted the most ugly sports star, thus Shrek Rooney was born. And he does hang round with a donkey, well any defender who comes up against him is made to look like an ass. Also making up the top 10 was Brazilian Ronaldhino, maybe they should do a cartoon, Bugs Bunny and Shrek.

Milkman Charlie Harris has retired after 45 years and delivering 7 million pints. It's alleged he didn't have the bottle any more.

A pensioner has won 9.6 million on a slot machine. That's a lot of coins to come back. Probably fill the whole casino. Makes you want to try your luck, though I figure most gamblers use those buckets to catch their tears.

An £8 billion bid is being touted for British food store Sainsbury's. You could try paying at the checkout, but not at the 8 items or less queue. You could rack up some loyalty points buying Sainsbury's! I'm sure if you went to pay at the kiosk, a tannoy announcement would have to be made. A deal breaker could be, "Can I have a bag with that?"

A petrol station has been setup in the USA, called Terror Free Oil. I never found oil that scary. They shun oil resources from countries they believe are supporting terrorism. It is reported they have had a slow start not least because a local rival have dropped their prices, so I suppose that shows customers find the prices most scary. They should perhaps expand their business into terror free dentistry and fairground rides.

A former secretary at Coca-Cola has been found guilty of trying to sell on secret documents to rival firm Pepsi, for a minimum of £1.5 million. This isn't the same as just stealing Grandma's recipe. Joya Williams may now get 10 years to taste test life in the can. I might give her a ring, to see if I can pull her out.

A UK government minister has advised people should step in or cause a distraction when a crime is happening, while waiting for the police. I suppose in England you could ask the getaway driver to stop by for a cup of tea, or the murderer to use the bathroom to get cleaned up. Ask him why the stripy black and white top, and swag bag went out of fashion. Someone in trouble should be helped for sure, though it's not always a good idea to take the law into your own hands.

The cargo ship Napoli which sprouted holes, and then cargo drifted in land, has been an early Christmas present for the people in Devon. It should have been called the Bounty. Freeloading motorbikes, Nappi's all kinds of random stuff. They are committing no offence if they report what they find to the Receiver Of Wreck. Who I imagine is called Captain Jack Sparrow. There is a new movie coming out, Pirates Of The English Peninsular, The Curse Of The Stolen Blackberry PDA's, BMW's, Oh And Black Pearl. So that's good news for all those that lifted hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of bikes just to report it.

Billionaire media tycoon, Rupert Murdoch has given out $100 million to each of his six children. That's some allowance, certainly would put a smile on your face when you look at your bank account. I wonder what kind of overdraft you'd get with that. I suppose he'd advise them not to spend it all at once. They could afford their own place now, or even daddy's Myspace.

Tony Blair has been interviewed for a second time over the cash for honors (knighthoods) scandal. I guess if you are the cop interviewing, it's like your big break. They could try and break him or go with the softly softly approach. The hard questioning would go like,
#Tough Cop "Now Tony, we all know your words aren't exactly the Gospel truth, for you are a politician, tell us why you were giving out knighthoods willy nilly". "For the purpose of the tape, Mr Bliar is grinning."
#Tony Blair "Lord knows! That's not the question, the question is why Saddam was an evil dictator and had to be removed"
#Tough Cop "That wasn't my question, is there a cover up of this scandal in Downing Street, Mr Blair?"
#Tony Blair "There is a scandal every 45 minutes, which one are you referring to?"
#Tough Cop "Just one more thing"
#Tony Blair "What?"
#Tough Cop "Nothing, I just always wanted to say that."

Ah the British justice system at it's best, with a hint of Columbo.

Joe Blog's Interview #63 Featuring Anonim'ass

Name : Anonima
Age : 24
Location : New York
Vocation : Undecided
Philosophy : "Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing."

Sum up what your blog is about.
My blog is about me. Mostly its about me personal life. What's going on in my personal relationships. I talk the guys from my present, past and future. It's about sex and friendships and I happen to incorporate writing. The difficulties with my writing.

Why are you doing your blog?
I kept a blog on myspace but I found that it was restricting. I wasn't being truly honest with myself because I was too worried about what the people that knew me would say. So I decided to start a real blog, talking about the things I knew I couldn't talk about on a myspace blog. Basically its fun to write about the craziness that is my life.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?
The funniest blog is the one entitled "Street Thug" There is a picture in the blog that says "I'm here about the blowjob". I think that comment and the photo explains itself. Read the blog its funny.

What is your writing style?
I try to be as honest as possible. When I write the blog, I write it like I write in my journal.

How much would you sell your blog for?
I don't think I would sell my blog.

What do people commonly say about your site?
I think most people enjoy the read and can relate to what I'm experience. Especially the sex stuff.

Why should someone visit your site?
Because its a good read. It's interesting and at times funny.

Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?
Reality

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
The Over Educated Nympho is my favorite. And I like reading sent from my dell desktop.

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
I would invite Alisa Rodriguez-Valdes. She is one of my favorite authors. I would love to have dinner with her and talk to her about her books and how she comes up with great characters and wonderfully written stories.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?
I don't know. Our current president has done so many mistakes, I wouldn't even know where to begin to change everything he had undone.

What one website would you recommend and why?
http://perezhilton.com Yes its celebrity gossip, but I can't help myself. I love this website. He gets the dirt and makes fun of everybody in the process.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
The only thing that comes to mind is that I tend to bump my head or knee on practically every door of my house. I remember one time I was in the kitchen getting ready to turn the corner and head to my room when I smacked right into a door. My sister witnessed the whole event and was laughing hysterically. She couldn't believe that I just did that and that I didn't see the door right in front of me.

Had any supernatural experiences?
Nope.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
Do better in school. Concentrate more on your studies and asking for help when needed.

Any interesting travel stories?
A trip to Canada was extremely exciting. But I'd rather keep that story to myself (wink wink)

What are definite turn offs in men?
A big turn off is if he isn't smart. I mean he doesn't have to be super intelligent or anything, but he was to carry an intelligent conversation. A guy who isn't funny or fun isn't attractive. Lazy men are extremely unattractive too.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.
I have had a lot of good and bad things happen to me, but I don't think I have had anything incredible happen to me yet. When it happens to me I'll let you know.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?
Get rid of my all my financial debt. Give three wishes to my dad. Have a big, beautiful house in Puerto Rico where my family and friends and myself can visit whenever we'd like.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
If you had the opportunity to go back in time and change one event in your life what would it be and why?

Joe Blogs : No regrets.

Your site address : http://latina-writer.blogspot.com/

Joe Blog's Interview #62 Cheesy!

Name : Cheeseburger Brown

Age : 31

Location : Rural Ontario, Canada

Vocation : Art Director

Philosophy : Live and let live.

Sum up what your blog is about.

Free, original storytelling -- episodes posted three times each week, without fail.

Why are you doing your blog?

I'm a storyteller. Storytellers need an audience.

What's the funniest entry on your blog?

My most popular lark remains the personal diary of Darth Vader, which blended comedy and tragedy in a way that enabled the character to speak to people in a way George Lucas just couldn't access. The archives are on-line: http://darthside.blogspot.com/

What is your writing style?

Occasionally verbose, sometimes poetic, always irreverent.

How much would you sell your blog for?

Not for a thousand million hundred dollars.

What do people commonly say about your site?

I consider it high praise when people write to tell me that they were almost fired because they got sucked into my writing for the better part of a day when they had more urgent matters to attend to.

Why should someone visit your site?

I think of my blog a bit like an old radio serial from the mid-20th century: melodramatic and ironic, often funny, an escape for the world-weary that can be relied on to deliver fresh content at no cost with no nonsense. Every story is different, and there's no rights restrictions regulating how those stories are consumed or shared. In short: free entertainment, no hassles.

Climate change is caused by man. Myth or reality?

Personally, I think women have a hand in it, too.

Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?

Hulver's Site: it's a community diary site. http://www.hulver.com/

If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?

I'd like to share a meal with anyone from the distant past so that I could see the expression on their face as I tell them the story of history from their period to mine.

What would you change, if you were President of the USA?

I'd like to find a way to transition to a zero emissions economy without making Western civilization implode. Also, a new flag with Porky Pig on it.

What one website would you recommend and why?

I would recommend my own, because I like having readers. Writing without readers is a depressing experience, akin to playing fetch without a dog or getting married to an empty wedding dress on a hanger.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.

On my wedding day I was loitering outside the Royal York Hotel in a tuxedo, waiting for my ride to the church, when a man started asking me questions about the hotel's facilities. When I could not answer him to his satisfaction he upbraided me for being a very poor excuse for a doorman.

Had any supernatural experiences?

I don't believe in the supernatural. If something happens, it's natural. I've had experiences I cannot explain, but I'm fairly confident they all took place within this familiar universe, employing the same laws of physics we all live by.

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?

Buy Apple stock. Don't let your passport expire. Make conscientious use of birth control.

Any interesting travel stories?

Once when I was in Mexico a Colombian plane full of cocaine crashed into the jungle near my resort. I was rudely awakened in the middle of the night by men in black with automatic weapons who quizzed me on my knowledge of Spanish in a fairly brusque manner. They were eventually convinced that I was not harbouring fugitives under my night-stand so they went away without so much as a tip of the hat.

Tell us just one of your favourite actors, actresses, comedian, song and film.

My favourite actor is Jimmy Stewart. I like the way he talks.

My favourite actress is Anjelica Houston. I like the way she moves.

My favourite comedian is Christopher Guest. I admire his wit.

My favourite song is Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi". Because it's so true.

My favourite film is Kubrick's "Lolita". Never cut when a long shot will do.

What's the most incredible thing that ever happened to you.

I once wrote something that made ten thousand people cry. They wrote to tell me about it, which made me cry, too.

And finally, what would you wish for with 3 wishes?

First : perfect health, and a remarkable ability to heal from injury.

Second : eidetic memory.

Third : that the first and second wishes become genetically inheritable traits.

Now it's your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.

Which superhero was best-endowed by their special abilities to have stopped the terror attacks of September 11, 2001?

Joe Blogs : Superman. He could fly and stop the planes.

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